In My Heart
I'm convinced that there is only one girl out there for me. Sometimes I sit by myself and just think, where is my the girl of my dreams? I write in my little book, post to my little blog, complain to anyone that'll listen and just watch as time passes by without so much as a sign of her. I was raised on Disney, I grew up believing in fairy tale endings, that there's always a princess that needs saving, that with love anything can be accomplished. I grew up listening to silly love songs, dreaming of a day when I'll have that girl, the only girl that's ever been right for me. I always imagined that that girl would come into my life when I was old enough to date seriously. High school came and went without anything more than a faint promise of a chance at happiness. College began, the world opened up to me, but still no girl has come around.. Not even the shadow, not ever a glimmer of someone with whom I can fall hopelessly in love with.
Don't misunderstand, I never believed in the perfect girl, nothing quite so unrealistic, just that girl that's perfect for me. I never thought that twenty years into my life that I would know just as little if not less about what I want and who I'm meant to be with. That's what this blog is about.. The road that leads me to you, my one, my only.. My sweetheart. Call it silly, but I know you're on your way to me sweetie, and I want you to know that I'm making my way to you too. I know full well that neither of us are who we're meant to be for us to fall in love just yet. You and I both have more life to live before we meet, we have more of ourselves to discover before we can actually stand a chance with each other. Knowing that only takes me so far though, I know so much of myself that just wants that extra time with you, because even though I know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, I want more; I want each and every moment from this moment forward to be spent with you. But life doesn't quite work like that..
You might laugh, but I miss you. I miss you and I haven't even met you. Somethings in life are meant to be and I have no doubt in my heart that this is one of them. Have you ever felt someone in your heart? A presence that both isn't yet filled but also is the only thing that you know is true? It's something that you already feel but you don't know who you feel it for. Some describe it as a kind of emptiness but I know better; I know that it's exactly where she belongs, and I know she's already there. I can't wait until I find you in this crazy, mixed up world, and we can spend the rest of our days together.