The Purpose of Pain
I’m gonna get real, right off the bat: I’m just coming off the worst month of my life. I’ve always known I had it fairly easy, and I’ve always had an acute awareness of the lack of emotional trauma in my life. But a little over a month ago, I experienced the ending of my first serious relationship. The breakup was mutual, which I think made the pain worse, since beforehand I hadn’t been expecting there to be any pain at all. And I’m certainly not complaining—pretty much everyone goes through breakups, and a lot of people go through much worse breakups than mine—but on the graph of my life’s emotional turmoil, this last month has been a record peak. If you add up all the tears I’ve cried throughout my life, I’m fairly certain that they don’t add up to the tears I cried that first week without him.
Thanks to good friends and a good God, I’m doing much better now. I’ve had time to process and reflect and heal. But I’d like to share what I learned about pain after really experiencing it for the first time.
Pain is not purposeless.
In my specific situation, I came to see how God was using my pain to deepen my empathy and build my character. I can now better mourn with those who mourn, I can better understand a broader variety of experiences, and most of all, I better understand the hope of the gospel and the way in which God uses bad things for good purposes, heals broken people, and turns tears to joy. My story is one that points wholly to Jesus: to his heart & to the way he wants to redeem the brokenness of the world. And yours is too.
“For we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
Our world is full of awful, awful things. There are people who intentionally do terrible things to innocent people, and there are also terrible things that happen completely by accident. Both are manifestations of the world we live in being fundamentally broken, and the Bible says that the world is broken because of humanity’s sin.
The good news? The all-powerful God of the universe is on our side. He can use even the worst situations for ultimate good—even if we can’t see the good, we can trust that he knows what he’s doing. God is in the business of taking the worst sinners and making them his best warriors. Of restoring broken relationships. Of healing hurting people. Of redeeming lives. Of making beautiful things from the dust.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4
One thing you can be sure of, whatever it is that you go through in this life, is that you’re growing from it. Trials push us forward, on toward the maturity of our faith. Pain gives us the opportunity to grow in our reliance on God, to deepen our vulnerability with other believers, and to share our stories with the hurting people around us.
Pain makes us more compassionate people, able to see the world with eyes more alike to the eyes of our Father: eyes that see suffering and desperately want to see that suffering repaired. Our pain brings the brokenness of our world to the surface of our minds and calls us, loud and clear, to go be a voice of healing to other hurting people. In the midst of our suffering, we are to receive the healing that God is holding out to us, and then bring that light to others who need it just as much as we do.
“You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” Psalm 30:11-12
Pain is part of your story. And your individual story is a beautiful reflection of what God wants for every person. Your story says that where there was death, God brought life. Where there was hurt, God brought healing. What was broken has been made new, that we may sing God’s praises forever. The joy we experience doesn’t mean that we’ve recovered from our pain, or moved on from it, or that we’re fully healed yet. Our joy is in spite of the pain. It’s because we know the end of the story; because we can see how God is using it and will use it for good. We’ll have stronger character, a stronger relationship with God, and a stronger testimony that shows his goodness and healing in our lives. And that is worth rejoicing over.
“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18