lilamina replied to your post: The more my mom frantically says, “Let’s not talk...
I… *sigh*. You’re being very brave, and kudos for not using the Dad argument. That being said, I hope one day you’ll get to tell her what you wrote here (about the fact that she’d rather you be with a male sob than with a decent, wonderful, loving girlfriend). She is hurting you.
The thing is...that I have told her all of this (minus using my dad as leverage to make her feel guilty). She told me to wait until my grandparents die before I date a girl because me having a mixed baby was hard enough on them. And that if I date a girl, she doesn’t know if she can convince my stepdad to not get mad or my grandparents on either of their sides to disown me. Like it’s some sort of big inconvenience for her. It’s frustrating.
The last time I used the “Well, Dad supports me...” card was when I told them that I was pregnant. Granted, I wasn’t married and my daughter’s father and I ended up breaking up before I had her. BUT I was twenty-six years-old and they were acting like I was still in high school? Like my life was over because I wasn’t married? (”You better get married to this guy soon!” was actually said, but jokes on them because they didn’t know at the time that her dad is black.) My mom’s side would straight up rather me be with a straight white guy that will emotionally abuse me than a girl or a guy that isn’t white. I’ve asked, “What if the woman treats me with respect and loves me and takes care of me and my daughter?” And my mom is like, “I’m not talking about it. You don’t know if you won’t like a guy again.” Uuuh when I’ve thrown up after the last three times I’ve seen a dick, yeah, I kind of do.