#lilli's world

[lilli-sturmreiter]

i recently made friends with my next door neighbor, and it’s.... nice.

in just a few short weeks we’ve gotten close enough that we can spend an afternoon just watching anime and cuddling, and it does done fucking *wonders* for the mental health of my touch-starved hermit ass.

it makes me feel a little sad in retrospect, though, as i never had that growing up cuz people thought i was a boy. and not just because i specifically missed out on it, but because in america most boys(and trans girls) miss out on it.

cuz goddamn, platonic cuddling is just... the fucking best. it’s just so goddamn *soothing*. i am so glad to have her as a friend.

[lilli-sturmreiter]

So the other night my roommate's social worker friend deigned to gift me a vial of estrogen matching my prescription, so I can actually have some to use while I'm struggling to get my insurance to pay for it. I just injected my first dose and even though I usually go to bed around now, and just a couple of hours ago I was dead tired, I am way too jazzed to sleep.

I'm literally drooling because the joy of the flavor of my altered saliva chemical composition is causing a feedback loop.

I don't know how much of this burst of energy is excitement from dusky having the right hormones in my head again, and how much is near-instant relief of the fatigue that being post-menopausal had indicted me with.

Everything is beautiful, and even the snack of bread with apple jelly I'm having just... *tastes* more.

I don't think I've been this happy since I lost access to hrt the first time nine years ago.

[lilli-sturmreiter]

Beleth has a sister, and i don’t mean a random cat; one of his littermates has shown up, half-starved, and i couldn’t help but bring her in.

she’s not used to other cats being friendly yet, so while she has gotten used to Beleth being around in general she gets pretty territorial about the food bowl and will react poorly if he tries to initiate play.

she’s obviously had just a little bit of human interaction, as she trusted me enough to let me take her in, but she’s also been so starved for attention that merely picking her up caused her to purr immediately, and she is basically always just... desperately clinging to me and only jumping off my lap to eat or use the litter box. Beleth likes to cuddle a bit each day, but i can tell Lucy(short for Lucifera, yes i just like demonic names because i am a gigantic dork) is going to be a legit lap cat.

I’m glad i found her, but i feel so sad thinking that for the past month her brother has been living the kitty high life and she was still on the street. She’s such a sweet girl and i very much look forward to seeing her get strong and healthy.

[lilli-sturmreiter]

me: *fills my cat's water dish with the same spring water i drink so he won't have to drink nasty tap water*

Beleth: *jumps into my tub to drink from the perpetually dripping faucet instead*

[lilli-sturmreiter]

pros of playing with kitten:

adorable

good for kitten's mental and physical health

good for my mental health

cons of playing with kitten:

due to excitement, kitten may end up biting harder than he intended

due to excitement, kitten may fart directly on my hand

in conclusion, it it a worthwhile activity, but I needed to wash my hands because of stinky kitten fart

[lilli-sturmreiter]

After spending a couple hours out on the porch hanging out with my neighbor, i come back in and Beleth immediately starts purring, climbing all over me, jamming his face against mine, and gently biting my nose.

I think it’s safe to say he missed me.

[lilli-sturmreiter]

Beleth’s little kitty brain works in mysterious ways.

[lilli-sturmreiter]

a steam user who i don’t remember having ever actually talked to and have no recollection of why they are on my friends list(probably belonged tot he same group as me at some point, idk) just up and gifted me the steam version of final fantasy IX.

seeing as this is going to be my first christmas on my own, and because of the financial burden i am currently placing on my parents my christmas gift from them this year is the fantastic gift of not being homeless, this is probably going to be the only “gift”-y type gift i’m going to get. which is still a lot more than i was expecting or wanting.

uh, so, thanks again, random steam user! you singlehandedly made my holiday a little less lonely. and honestly that means a lot.