Jan 29, 2025
something about this can be. so personal
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something about this can be. so personal
Come, Hell or High Water (Well I'm Feeling Hot and Wet)
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lilolex || logan sargeant / alex albon / lily muni he
Lily: oh em gee Lily: [photo image] Lily: womb pouch 🫵🫵
Alex: 😂😂
or Logan gets the text the Tuesday after Petit Le Mans.
this was done for @ashzerog19 's fic fest, @loganficfest !! it was genuinely such a pleasure to participate!!
920 words of (not quite) sargebon word vomit that came to me at 7am that I proceeded to write on the train, in an Uber and through breakfast
“Logan got a job.”
It's a beautiful day on the marina; the waves rock against the side of the boat they've been staying on, and Lily is dressed in a gorgeous red bikini with cute bows tied on the sides. Her skin is draped in a lovely silk robe, a thing with fluffy hems that Alex should definitely be paying more attention to.
And yet he's on his phone, finger stalling over a post with his teammates face on it, a person who would probably hardly recognize him, at this point.
“Logan? Like Sargeant?” Lily asks lightly, crossing the room to the mini bar. It's nine AM; far too early for a cocktail.
“Yeah, what other Logan's do I know?” Alex swallows down a scoff, because he already knows he said the wrong thing.
He can feel Lily's stare bore into the side of his head, a hand on hip warning letting him know that he's on a timer to set himself straight.
“Sorry, sorry. Yeah, that Logan. I don't know why, I'm just…” Alex shuts his phone off and tosses it on to the coffee table with a clatter, scowling down at the source of the noise as if he isn't the one who caused it.
Lily hums and slinks over until she's standing behind Alex, behind the couch and placing her hand on his shoulder.
Alex looks up at her, soft features still dewy with her morning skincare, and sighs, looking away towards the floor and feeling strangely ashamed.
“I don't know. I feel weird,”
“About?” Lily coaxes without missing a beat, and Alex kind of wants to lean over and bash his head against the table until it shatters.
Because he doesn't know.
Logan always made him feel weird, like Alex was looking at a more filtered version of himself, reflected back with straighter teeth, more yellowed and more American. Logan made Alex question whether he'd fuck his own clone more times than he'd like to admit.
Because it feels like a taunt how similar they are. How similar they turned out to be.
Being placed in a cold, closed off team, treated like a dog taken in out of pity. A team principal who is only so kind for so long. A teammate who outpaced and outclassed you at every left turn.
And Logan was quiet, an introvert; more than Alex is, anyway. And Alex considers himself an introvert.
He thinks the difference is Logan was more anxious, he had more knives crawling up his back. He didn't have as strong of an F2 campaign, he didn't have an academy that was loyal to him for years, he didn't have the trophies and championships and as much public appraisal that Alex did.
He didn't get the opportunity to outperform a lesser team. He was tossed into a team that thought they were capable of more than they really were. It was an ego game, and Logan lost. Was losing.
“Alex?” Lily startles Alex out of his thoughts, now sitting next to him and placing her hand on his bicep, leaning forward into Alex's frame of view with a concerned crease in her brow.
Alex grumbles, and looks over at her with a feeling swirling in his eyes that he hopes Lily can decode, because Alex has begun feeling a little dizzy, caught up in the whirlwind of his own thoughts.
“Do you miss him?”
Ah. Yeah. That.
It's been a long time since Alex thought he missed Logan; a long while since Franco came about and didn't quite have the same laugh, or the same crease to his smile, and a long while since Carlos has managed to look like either of them.
“Maybe,” Alex rasps towards the floor, not having the stomach to look at Lily as he says it. Not when Lily knows about how Alex felt for a long time, how he bottled it up for so long he nearly lied and confessed that he cheated instead of just coming clean about his not quite platonic, not quite paternal feelings for Logan.
Lily nodded along sagely when Alex finally told her about it, the night after Zandvoort, a choked confession about how badly he wished he did something, how badly he wished he said something, fought harder, talked more, laughed more, told Logan he was good enough, that he's allowed to be here, to take up space in the paddock, and on the grid, and in the hollows of Alex's chest.
If Logan was so similar to Alex in his own right, then why was Alex incapable of doing anything? Of helping? If teams like Williams are where lost talent goes to thrive, then why couldn't Logan?
Why does it hurt so badly that Logan finally has a job again? The thing Alex has been silently praying for for months? Why does it hurt so badly that he isn't there with him, side by side as his weird, forced by proxy mentor that likes his student far more than his student likes him?
Alex's eyes stare into the shallow blue of the coast. They've drifted out from it since they woke up this morning, when Lily stepped out onto the deck and hummed satisfactorily when the vinyl was sun warmed beneath her feet, yelping when Alex slipped his freezing cold hands against her waist.
The sun glints off the ripples, disturbed by a motorboat that has just gone past, and the light stings Alex's dry eyes.
“I miss him.”
was tagged by my awesome moot @23fallencomets to do this little poll!! tyy for the tag <33
Rules: Make a 24hr poll listing the titles of every WIP you want to work on. (It's fine if you only have one, still make a poll for the vote count). Whichever WIP title gets the most votes, write 1 sentence for every vote received.
WIPS! 😺
The Only Hope For Me Is You [isekai fic, oscar ends up in mcr's danger days]
Douse That Fire! [russargeant omega/omega heat]
Black Dahlia [the intersex!logan lilolex fic that has sat FOREVER]
A Modest Proposal [luke+alex dealing with zak's first kill based on 1729 satire]
Come, Hell or High Water (Well, I'm Feeling Hot and Wet!)[lilolex breeding kink]
* lilolex = sargebon + lily
... how mad would y'all be if i told you that i have yet another smut wip in the works. yes it is lilolex.
one of my favorite things about writing lilolex smut specifically is that, yeah these people are having sex, but also ☝️ they're having FUN!!!! i love adding little stop moments for things!!! they get to have silly sex!!!!!!