*heartlink - pseudo term I made for myself, basically a linked hearttype
I don’t really feel the desire to continue linking dragonite. I’m a bit sad about it, but there’s not enough compelling factors for me to want the link.
Dragonite still held some meaning for me, but I find it shallow. I know to link I just have to want it, yet I don’t even really care enough to maintain that link.
Perhaps I could just, stop the linking process. But there’s still a tiny bit of regret, or perhaps guilt, wishing that the want had just been a bit stronger. I’d see resemblance between me and dragonite: orange, chonk but speedy, dragon and flying would have been my pokemon typing but…that’s where it stops. It’s always been a surface level of connection. I don’t really see myself as a dragonite. Not that I’m linking a kintype connection, but I don’t even see myself identifying with dragonite. It will probably still be my proxy pokesona, if I bother enough with that route. I’ve had more feelings for Flight Rising dragon species for me to make proxy FR dragons than I do my dragonite heartlink.
Plus, I’ve never been much interested in having a avatar or sona. I’d tried to make a dragonite sona but, it ended up as basically me with dragonite as base, and every feature other than the orange (not even the orange was safe) and physique changed—I’d used pidgeot’s wings (with colors altered), add some mane down the back and change the spike to two long yellow horns, no more whiskers. It barely resembles dragonite. After all, I’ve only seen dragonite for that somewhat visual resemblance to me.
Part of the reason for forming said link was also because I wanted to be with my pokemon alterhuman friends in their communities. And that probably is not a good reason to want to link. It hinges on elements outside oneself, which is contradictory to alterhumanity. It is self discovery first and foremost, the community is there to support and share experiences, solidarity, and guidance if needed, but never decides for you of who or what you are.
The dragonite heartlink is hanging by the thread, never really been on my mind. Perhaps it is time I let go.
