I ask this with zero snark or judgment but pure curiosity: why do you write smut if you're a sex-adverse asexual? What about sex actually interests you and/or calls to you, and specifically, sex between men? If all sex repulses you, I would have expected gay smut to be the absolute last thing you would *want* to write.
Totally reasonable question! And I’ll answer this with the obvious caveat that this is going be elicit a different answer from all ace smut writers (and, as evidenced by the collection of them in my liquid.ace tag, there’s a lot of them).
First and foremost, I identify as queer — and I’ve always felt very removed from ideas of gender and sexuality. So it being “sex between men” isn’t entirely separate from me, as someone who does really…. Perceive gender a whole lot. I do typically prefer smut between men because it makes it easier to distance myself (someone who functionally moves through the world as a woman); it creates an entire fantasy that exists wholly away from how I perceive myself. To quote my irl bestie: LEAVE MY PUSSY OUT THIS.
As far as the smut— you’ll notice I write significantly more kink than I do traditional sex. That’s because I find it to be a really unique means of character and relational dynamic analysis. It’s interesting to me to pose the question of like…. If I shoved these two characters into one of the most intimate and vulnerable scenarios right now, how would they react? What would change between them? What would stay the same? How does it affect their dynamic in and out of the bedroom?
In fact, my approach to smut made it really hard to write smut in the context of a broader story; I knew how to write a pwp one shot, but didn’t understand how to integrate it into a “normal story”. I had a hard time understand how non-asexuals move between sex and not sex lol
There’s a lot of emotions and traits that can be best explored through high endorphin situations, which lends itself well to writing smut. That’s also why you’ll notice I tend to write smut from a more… sensory point of view rather than explaining the exact mechanics. I care less about how fast Oscar’s fucking lando and more about how they got there, what it’s doing to them, how they’re reacting, how they’re not reacting, etc..
Edit to add: lots of ace people, myself included, can find things hot (to our own extent) in the theoretical. Ace people can have fantasies about sex, conceptually, without wanting to engage in it themselves. It’s a pretty complex sexuality! I’d implore you to go through my tag if you have some other questions 💖💖