Chapter 5 (“testing, testing") preview
I realized it's the second (yikes 😅) anniversary of the day I posted Chapter 1 of testing, testing, and although Chapter 5 unfortunately isn't ready yet, I figured I could share the first 1000-ish words of the chapter. (I might still tweak the wording of a few sentences, but otherwise this is pretty much what the beginning of the chapter will look like.)
Excerpt below the cut! Nothing sexually explicit here, but I'm marking this post as "Mature" since the fic itself is 🔞
Chapter 5 Preview
“You go shopping together all the time,” Kaveh mutters to himself, marching down the hall. “This isn’t any different. Just ask.”
He’s spent the better part of the last hour trying to convince himself to approach Alhaitham with this request. Twice now, he’s made it halfway to the living room with the question on the tip of his tongue, only to retreat to his bedroom when his courage fails him.
It’s just a shopping trip, he tells himself. One that Alhaitham already said he’s amenable to, which means that the suggestion is guaranteed to be approved. The outcome of this conversation is predetermined; Kaveh doesn’t need to worry about being mocked or rejected.
He can’t keep pacing around all night. He needs to get this over with. Just a quick question, and then the matter will be settled, and Kaveh can return to the safety of his bedroom and finally stop agonizing over this subject.
He takes a deep breath and surges into the living room, hands curled in determined fists. “Alhaitham—”
The couch is empty.
Kaveh’s stance relaxes, and he glances around the empty room in confusion. “Wait, where—”
“Yes?” says a voice from behind him.
Kaveh yelps. “What—you—” He whirls around to face a shirtless Alhaitham, who’s standing far too close and looking far too unclothed. “Where did you—when—”
“I was getting ready to take a shower.” Alhaitham folds his arms across his bare chest. “Is that a problem?”
“No, uh, that—that’s…” Kaveh’s eyes drift down to Alhaitham’s defined pectorals, then lower to the trail of hair that disappears below the waistband of his pants, and his mind goes blank. “Naked.”
“Naked?” Alhaitham repeats, in that drawl of his that usually sounds infuriating, except right now Kaveh is too flustered to care. “I wouldn’t say I’m nude, since I still have pants on. Or were you describing the customary manner in which people bathe? In that case, yes, Kaveh, I intend to shower naked. Did you think otherwise?”
Kaveh doesn’t know how to respond. Normally this is the point in a conversation where he would say something along the lines of I’ve had enough of you! and flee to another room to escape Alhaitham’s ceaseless sarcasm. Except…right now, actually, Kaveh feels like he hasn’t had nearly enough of Alhaitham.
And, fuck, it’s confusing, this constant hunger for a dish that he doesn’t know how to eat.
Lately, Alhaitham doesn’t seem to find Kaveh’s presence too objectionable. In fact, at times, he even seems to enjoy it—although that thought is so ludicrous that Kaveh thinks he must be imagining things, because he just can’t wrap his mind around the idea of Alhaitham actively liking his company. Tolerating it or occasionally being amused by it, maybe. But it’s not as if Alhaitham would ever seek out Kaveh the way he did back when they were students, sharing meals and studying together, talking for hours about all manner of things.
Of course, yes, they do simultaneously occupy the study sometimes, and they eat most of their meals together—but that’s a result of their status as roommates, not an indicator that Alhaitham wants to spend time with him. Even Alhaitham’s newfound habit of coming home for lunch can be explained by the fact that the house is quieter than any restaurant is, and that it’s more comfortable to eat at home than it is to eat in an office at the Akademiya.
Still, Alhaitham clearly doesn’t hate being around Kaveh, so Kaveh hasn’t recently felt the need to get out of his sight during conversations like this (despite Alhaitham’s penchant for conversing in the most aggravating manner possible).
But, then, what does Alhaitham expect him to say? Besides snapping or storming off, how else is Kaveh supposed to respond to that sarcasm of his?
Alhaitham hums. “Or maybe that was a request? You aren’t satisfied with me being shirtless, and want to see me completely naked instead? Typically it would be inappropriate to ask that of your roommate, but considering our unique arrangement, I suppose it’s not too unreasonable.” He hooks his thumbs in the waistband of his pants, eyebrows raised. “Is that what you want, Kaveh?”
After a pause, Kaveh realizes that Alhaitham is about five seconds away from getting his dick out, and words finally spring to his lips. “No! I mean, obviously I don’t object to seeing you naked, or doing things with you whilst you’re naked, but—”
Alhaitham snorts and lets go of his pants. “You were looking for me in the living room. You wanted to ask me something?”
“Oh, uh, yes. And—and don’t laugh!”
“Is there a reason I would?”
“Don’t look so amused, either!”
“I wouldn’t say I’m known for being particularly expressive.”
He isn’t—but Kaveh knows him well enough that he can detect the slight scrunch of amusement beneath his eyes, and the slight twitch of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Ugh, you.” He crosses his arms and glares at the wall to his right, averting his eyes from that abhorrently chiseled chest. “I…”
Alhaitham is quiet while Kaveh summons the courage to ask—though Kaveh is sure that if he looked back at his face right now, he’d see clear evidence that Alhaitham finds this all incredibly hilarious.
“I want to go shopping!” Kaveh spits out.
“Shopping,” Alhaitham repeats. Kaveh risks looking back at his face, and sees that one of his eyebrows is arched skeptically. “And do you have something specific you intend to buy?”
“What? Well, obviously…you know…!” Kaveh presses his lips together, and when Alhaitham declines to finish the sentence, he sighs. “Come on! Don’t make me say it.”
Alhaitham squints at him for several seconds, then shrugs. “Alright. I won’t make you say anything. Are you at least going to tell me where we’re getting this mystery purchase of yours?”
“Huh? I don’t know. You’re the one who…”
A long silence ensues, during which Alhaitham’s look of confusion mirrors Kaveh’s—and then it hits him.
“Oh, for fuck’s—” Kaveh slaps a palm against his forehead. “I can’t believe it. I rehearsed that question for hours, and I forgot to…” He exhales heavily. “Ahem. We…uh, we had previously discussed the idea of me helping you pick out a toy for…sexual…um, for masturbatory…that is, anal…penetrative…”
“Oh,” Alhaitham says, and Kaveh warily lowers his hand from his face. Alhaitham’s expression is neutral as he shrugs yet again. “Sure. I’ll go put on a shirt, and then we can head out.”
“Wait, you mean now?”
“Do you think I should put on the shirt after we get back, instead?”
“No, that’s—I—you!” Kaveh splutters. There’s no mistaking the smug tilt to Alhaitham’s lips; he knows full well that wasn’t what Kaveh meant. “The shopping—I didn’t mean tonight, I—I’m not…”
“Did you have other plans?”
“No,” Kaveh says, “but I…I need to mentally prepare myself for something like that, first.”
“Is that not what you did when you spent hours rehearsing the question?”
Kaveh’s face flushes hot. “Don’t make fun of me!” Huffing, he hugs his arms close to his chest. “It’s not as if I frequently shop for sex toys. The few dildos I’ve bought were all shipped to me in discreet packages. I’ve never perused those sorts of wares in front of other people, and—I mean, what if I run into a client, or a peer, or a student I’ve taught? What are they going to think if they see me purchasing sexual paraphernalia? No, worse—they’d see the former Acting Grand Sage paying on my behalf! So, well, of course it isn’t easy for me to suggest something like this.”
“There’s nothing wrong with rehearsing things before you say them. Sometimes it’s useful to plan one’s words ahead of time.” The corners of Alhaitham’s mouth twitch. “Although, it helps if you actually manage to remember your lines.”
Kaveh groans. He’s good at public speaking, damn it. He has no issue presenting lectures or project proposals. But that’s because talking to clients and Akademiya students doesn’t involve being ambushed by a half-naked man he’s been having sex with!