#litsfic

[ellayuki]

06102022 - The Librarians

give me hope (before i crack beyond repair)

~

Her hands are shaking.

And like, she can't remember the last time her hands actually shook? Especially as hard as they do now? 

"He's going to be alright, Cassandra," Eve tries to calm her down, the Guardian's hands gentle on Cassandra's shoulders and through her hair. "It's Ezekiel. He's always gonna pull through, even when it seems impossible."

It seems impossible right now, Cassandra thinks, though the words don't leave her tongue. It's- "He's an idiot." She shudders, and her eyes burn with unshed tears. "He shouldn't have- I was fine, I was handling it, why did he-"

Eve pulls her closer, until Cassandra is able to hide her grief into her shoulder. "I think Ezekiel has always been a bit… protective of you, even if he doesn't like showing it. You're definitely the one he's closest to. So, I'm not really surprised he'd try to save you if he thought the situation warranted it." 

And okay, maybe Cassandra had been in a bit of a pickle, outnumbered and overwhelmed and almost at her limits. Yes, alright. 

But that didn't mean Ezekiel had to basically make what was tantamount to a sacrifice play just to get her to safety. That didn't mean- "What am I going to do," she whispers her worst fear into the crook of Eve's neck and shoulder, "if he doesn't pull through?" The devastation and guilt would kill her, probably. 

Eve squeezes her tightly; tight enough to ache, and tight enough to ground Cassandra, if only just a little. "Don't think like that," she says, both a command and a plea. "He's going to be okay, Cassandra."

"But what if-"

"No. No what ifs. He will be fine." Eve grabs her shoulders and pushes Cassandra just far enough away to meet her gaze. Her eyes are about as red as Cassandra's own feel. But she smiles, small though it is. "And when he wakes up - because it will be a when, not an if - he'll laugh his silly head off at you for thinking otherwise. You know he will."

It's more confidence, more hope, than Cassandra is capable of feeling right now, but even so, she can't help grinning through her tears at the image the Colonel's words paint in her head. "You're right." She breathes. Inhale, hold. Exhale, hold. "You're right. Ezekiel's… He's going to be fine. He will. He’ll be running around and giving us headaches in no time."

And if it takes a while to believe her own words… Well, Cassandra thinks that's only for her to know.

[ellayuki]

02042022 - The Librarians

~

Cassandra Cillian has a tiny, little (huge, enormous) secret, and Ezekiel Jones knows about it.

It’s… Look, he wasn’t snooping or anything (not this time), alright? He was just coming to Cassandra’s study to ask for her help with one of the Artefact Rooms, when he’d stepped up to the open door just in time to see a small, blue ball of light materialise in Cass’ open palm.

And well, after everything they’ve been through these past few months, nothing really surprises Ezekiel anymore. It’s just that… Honestly, he thinks it’s more the look on Cassandra’s face that has Ezekiel so… spellbound, for lack of a better word.

There’s something soft in her eyes, and proud, where they glow with the light of the floating orb, and her smile looks hopeful like he hasn’t seen on her even when she was promised a cure for her brain grape. There’s something like peaceful contentment sitting across her shoulders.

Ezekiel steps back a few quiet paces. If Cassandra hasn’t said anything about retaining some magic after the whole debacle with the fairy tales coming to life, he’s not going to be the one to mention it to the others. Or her, for that matter.

He’s curious, yes.

But she’ll tell them when she’s ready.

“Hey, Cassandra!” he yells, and stomps his way back towards her open door. When he catches sight of her, the ball of light is gone, and Cassandra is looking at him with a question in her wide eyes.

“Ezekiel,” she says, with a tilt of her head. “What is it?”

(The smile is still there, though, hiding at the corner of her lips.)

[ellayuki]

24.12.2020

The Librarians / Cassandra POV / Casekiel

~

unexpected dinner date (what do you mean it's already christmas???)

 ~

"So… Any plans for this Christmas?"

Cassandra blinks, her eyes stinging a bit from where she's been reading all day long. Ezekiel is standing in the entryway to her study in the Library, hands in his pockets, a half-smile on his face. "Christmas?" Cassandra asks, because… wait, no, Christmas is right around the corner, isn't it? She could have sworn Thanksgiving was yesterday. Stupid 2020.

Ezekiel shrugs, and takes a couple of steps closer. "Yeah," he says, thief's fingers skimming lightly over some of the trinkets on her desk. "Mum was wondering if you'd come over for dinner. Or lunch. Whichever."

This… seems like something that needs Cassandra's full attention. She puts her book down at that, bookmarking her place, and closing it gently. "Um," she starts, standing. "Dinner?"

Ezekiel isn't looking at her, attention seemingly caught on a glass compass. "Yep. Or-"

"Or lunch, yes." She looks at him, takes the faux-casual way he's holding himself, like he's getting ready for a rejection but trying to pretend he doesn't care either way. And she thinks about it. Doesn't see why not. Ezekiel's family is nice, and it's not like she has any other plans. And she always has fun with him. "Alright. Christmas dinner sounds lovely "

At last, Ezekiel looks at her, eyes wide. "Yeah?"

Cassandra nods, resisting the urge to roll her eyes a little bit. "Yes, Ezekiel. Just tell me when, and I'll be there."

Ezekiel's answering smile is huge, bright, and it makes Cassandra giddy. 

"Alright," he says, and puts down the little compass. "I'll pick you up tomorrow at around seven-ish? From your place?"

Cassandra nods, picking her book up again as Ezekiel turns to leave. She has time for a few more chapters.

It strikes her just as he's stepped outside and turned down the hallway. "Wait! Tomorrow?!? What do you mean tomorrow? Ezekiel???"

[ellayuki]

We may fight, but baby, you and me are forever 

The Librarians - 4x07 - And the Disenchanted Forest, Spoilers 

Casekiel, Cassandra Cillian & Ezekiel Jones

After the whole thing with the forest is settled and they’re back at the Library, Cassandra is in her room when she gets an unexpected visitor. 

a/n: First fanfic of the year! Yey!

~

She’s writing in her missions’ journal when there’s a soft knock at her door. It’s pretty late, and she’s usually asleep by this hour, so she wonders who it might be. Maybe Baird, feeling like having a bit of a girls’ night in, she thinks to herself as she closes her journal and goes to answer the door.

It’s Ezekiel.

Well, this she hadn’t seen coming.

(Though, maybe she should have? Anyway.)

‘Hey,’ he says, and his shoulders are stiff, and his mouth is in a thin, tight line.

‘Ezekiel, hey,’ she answers. And, after a couple of seconds of tense silence, adds, ‘Um. You wanna come in?’

Ezekiel shrugs a shoulder, scratches the side of his neck, and steps inside. ‘Yeah. Thanks.’

And of course, it’s awkward.

Because for all that they managed to work well together to distract Robbie Bender, things were still a bit tense between them, and Cassandra… well, she doesn’t really know what to do because, well, it’s the first time they’ve actually had a fight in the years they’ve known each other. Or rather, it’s the first time he’s ever actually yelled at her like that.

She had thought that, out of everyone, Ezekiel would understand her.

(And she can’t quiet hide the disappointment of knowing that he doesn’t. Not like she thought he would.)

‘So,’ she starts, when she can’t stand the silence any longer. Ezekiel looks up from where he’s poking at the crystal globe of the “mathemagics” trophy on her little shelf of knick-knacks, and his shoulders slump a little. ‘What… brings you here this late?’ she asks, and almost cringes at how stilted it sounds, how hesitant.

Ezekiel sighs. ‘Look,’ he says, and she can tell he’s a little bit on the defensive. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that.’

And oh. Somehow she hadn’t expected this. Not quite so soon, at least, maybe not for a week or two, and there’s a smile that starts tugging at her lips before she even realises it. Something starts unwinding in her chest, something she hadn’t even been entirely aware was wound up like a too-tightly coiled spring.

‘I’m sorry, too, Ezekiel. I might have gone a little bit overboard with the pranks.’

‘I shouldn’t have said the things I did.’

‘I should have known that real life isn’t even remotely like in the movies.’

‘No but I-‘

‘And besides, I-‘

They stop, blinking owlishly, and then they stand there, in the middle of her room, face to face, looking at each other for a long, drawn-out moment.

Cassandra doesn’t know which one of them cracks first, but one minute the silence is so thick you could cut it with a knife, the next they’re leaning on each other, laughing their asses off.

They laugh and they laugh and they laugh, so hard that they somehow end up on the floor, on Cassandra’s fluffy carpet, red-faced, and panting and looking like a couple of lunatics. Cassandra doesn’t think she’s ever laughed so much, so freely, in her entire life. Not even when pulling off wicked pranks.

By the time they finally manage to calm down, with only the occasional burst of giggles bubbling up their sore throats, Cassandra feels lighter than she’s felt in months. She rolls her head to one side, looks at Ezekiel’s profile as he seems to be contemplating her ceiling.

He seems to feel her eyes on him because he turns to face her, a peculiar look on his face even she can’t decipher.

‘Seriously, though, Cass, I’m sorry about what I said, but, but!’ he emphasized when she tries to interrupt him, ‘You try to prank me like that again and you will not know what hit you. Just so you know.’

And Cassandra giggles at that, can’t help it. She hums. ‘You are so on,’ is on the tip of her tongue, but she doesn’t say it. What she does say, though, is ‘I think we’d make a good team against the others, tough. You know. If the opportunity ever presents itself again.’

The toothy grin spreading on Ezekiel’s face is a weird combination between exasperated and fond and mischievous, and it’s how Cassandra knows for a fact that things are going to be okay between them.

[ellayuki]

26.12.’17

unexpected, what you did to my heart

the librarians, cassandra pov, s4e3 spoilers

the day after the whole debacle with his mother and santa’s sleigh, cassandra receives a present from ezekiel.

~

‘just so you know, you put the fear of the devil himself into my sisters. and my mum likes you, even if she does think you’re a bit weird.’

cassandra smiles, amused, maybe a little bit touched, too, and shakes her head a bit at ezekiel’s fondly exasperated look. ‘well, the feeling is mutual,’ she says, ‘your mother is interesting, that’s for sure.’ i can see where you take after her, she also thinks but keeps to herself. ‘as for your sisters,’ she adds with a tiny smirk, ‘well, i don’t think they’ll give you a hard time anymore, now that you’re friends with a ghost.’

ezekiel snorts at that, and rolls his eyes. then he goes back to rummaging through the backpack he’d brought in with him that morning.

after a few more moments of searching, he lets out an excited ‘aha!’ before pulling out a small box. from where she’s been browsing through a book on ancient shielding spells at one of the desks in the annex, cassandra inspects the box from the corner of her eye, trying not to look too curious. it’s small, enough to fit comfortably in ezekiel’s palm, wrapping paper red and gold.

she turns back to her book when ezekiel turns towards her.

she’d have thought that things would be a bit weird between them after he’d kissed her the day before, but somehow, it’s not. nothing has really changed, and cassandra isn’t sure what to think, how to feel. she supposes it’s good, that things haven’t turned awkward after the adrenaline and excitement have settled post-mission.

(she doesn’t think she could ever handle ezekiel treating her differently. he’s never once treated her like she might have a meltdown or like she might stab them in the back. he’s the only one whose gaze has been constant and straightforward, from the day they met.)

‘hey, cass,’ ezekiel calls out to her, and she looks up.

‘hmm?’ she asks, pretending like she hadn’t been spying just seconds ago.

‘here.’

he holds out the box, the light glinting off of the gold swirls of the design. cassandra places a bookmark in the book, sets it down, and accepts the gift.

‘i didn’t get to give you my gift yesterday, what with everything that happened, so here,’ he shrugs. there’s something like nervous anticipation in his eyes, although she can read none of it in his body language, and she decides that, whatever this is, ezekiel has put a lot of thought into it.

gingerly, she unties the emerald green bow, pulls the wrapping paper apart, and lifts the lid. inside, sitting on a velvety little pillow, is a broach.

it’s diamond-shaped, a quarter the size of her palm, and silver (or is that platinum?). there are swirls on the edges, like sunrays, and in the middle, the most beautiful piece of amber she’s ever seen. the whole thing looks unassuming, but she knows better.

‘it’s beautiful,’ she breathes, a smile growing on her face. she looks up at ezekiel. ‘thank you, ezekiel!’

‘i’ve heard it’s good for magic; for protection, shielding, stuff like that.’ he shrugs, scratches at a cheek, and then, crossing his arms across his chest, nods towards the spell book cassandra had been leafing through.

and really, it’s the sweetest thing, cassandra thinks, smiling and taking off the pin she’d put on in the morning. he can be so thoughtful sometimes. but then again, you’ve known that for a long time.

she takes the brooch out of the box and hands it to him. ‘help me with is?’ she says when he raises his eyebrows at her. ‘i don’t have a mirror at hand,’ she explains, because for some reason, the big one in the corner is pitch black and doesn’t reflect anything right now. ‘and i don’t feel like pricking myself so early in the morning.’

he nods and takes it from her, stepping closer. he’s careful, pulling the corners of her collar together and pinning it just right. then, from under a pile of books, he pulls out an old mirror. cassandra raises an eyebrow at him. ‘you could have said.’

he scrunches his nose at her, an adorable habit she’s noticed he has. ‘i could have.’ he says, mischief in his voice, and something else in his eyes. cassandra looks at her reflection, the brooch shining beautifully against her throat.

‘really, ezekiel, it’s beautiful. thank you,’ she says and raises on her tip toes to place a kiss on his cheek. (there is a split second when she almost makes a detour, just to see the look on his face. but she doesn’t, in the end.)

‘i’m glad you like it, cass,’ he says, and goes back to his backpack.

for a moment longer, cassandra admires the brooch, before setting the mirror down and picking the book back up.

‘hey,’ she calls out to ezekiel, after an idea pops into her head. he looks up at her, questioning. she waves the book in the air. ‘wanna help me with a spell?’

he smiles (his nose scrunches again), and nods.

[ellayuki]

15.10.’17

lead you through 

the librarians, cassandra pov

the librarians have to find an artefact in a maze-like cavern and, on the way out, cassandra's senses gets a little bit overwhelmed.

~

it hasn’t happened in so long that it’s a bit of a shock to the system when it does.

they’re on a job, as always, trying to retrieve an ancient artefact that might or might not be able to cause the end of the world, again, as always, and at first everything goes as it usually does, well enough until it goes sideways.

they haven’t split up like they usually do, the twists and turns of the cave the clues led them to, too complicated, too full of traps, too labyrinth-like for them to even dare.

they do eventually manage to get to the heart of the maze, only slightly singed and scraped, and the artefact is found, a small, unassuming harp that causes the cave shake and almost collapse on top of them when jacob tries to lightly pluck one of its strings.

it happens as they try to make their way back outside.

there are no more traps, none that trigger anyway, but the way back seems even more difficult, like the cavern is trying to keep them from leaving. cassandra has a bit of a flashback to the time in the minotaur’s maze way back when. her headache feels almost identical to the one she’d gotten then, too.

it happens when they seem to have passed the same point for what feels like the fourth time, at least. or at least they think, it’s the same point. there are so many passages and so many twists and so many turns that all look and feel the same, that it’s getting harder and harder for any of them to even try guessing the way they came in. the only hints are the times they stumble upon one of the traps they’ve already managed to sidestep earlier.

cassandra has tried to map it out, her brain managing to keep track somewhat, but it becomes too much at one point, even for her, and she can’t focus properly, because all she sees when she looks around is more of the same stone walls and identical corridors.

it becomes too much, and when they step into a circular room with so many doorways it’s dizzying to count, cassandra has to lean against the wall and close her eyes. her head is throbbing something awful and it’s getting a bit hard to breathe, and her brain is trying too hard to solve the puzzle of the caverns.

she tries to rub her temples, to press at her closed lids, hoping that maybe the pain will abate a little, enough for her to be able to focus, but no luck.

the others notice, of course, and worry like hens, but all their questions do nothing to help the pounding in her head. she tries to tell them to shut up for a second, but she can’t. it hurts too much.

‘hey, give her some space,’ comes ezekiel’s voice through the din, and through some miracle, they listen to him and step back, quiet down. cassandra just breathes, thankful, and tries to centre herself.

it’s easier, somewhat, and slowly, gradually, a path appears in front of her closed eyes. she opens them, casts a quick look around before they start throbbing, and shuts them again. she can get them out of here, she knows now, but she can’t-

she needs-

she takes a deep breath, ‘i can get us out,’ she tells the others, quiet, ‘i can see the pathway in my head.’ the din starts up again, her friends cheering and asking questions, but she quickly, frantically waves her hands in front of her the make them stop. they do.

‘i can get us out,’ she tries again, ‘it’s just…’ she hesitates. how can she tell them that she needs to keep her eyes closed without them worrying and mother-henning her even more? ‘i need…’ without opening her eyes, she raises one of her hands, palm up, and hopes her meaning gets through.

a beat.

and then warm fingers wrap around her own, and she breathes a sigh of relief.

‘other senses?’ ezekiel asks, and she can hear the smile on his face. she squeezes his hand lightly and lets him pull her away from the wall.

‘other senses,’ she answers, and wraps her arm around his, just like she did back then, trusting him.

she can tell the others are puzzled, but they don’t ask, for which cassandra is thankful. she needs to focus on this task right now. the rest can come later.

she takes another deep breath, and looks at the map in her head.

‘okay, so,’ she starts. ‘we need to take the seventh opening to the left of the one we came in through, and then go right.’ when she starts walking, ezekiel matches her step perfectly, without a trace of hesitation, without a trace of doubt, and cassandra knows without a doubt that they’ll be just fine.

[ellayuki]

29.06.’17

in you i trust

the librarians (and the horns of a dilemma), cassandra pov 

cassandra’s thoughts as she and ezekiel go through the labyrinth to find the command center

~

she closes her eyes and concentrates on the map in her mind, the calculations, the colours, the sounds.

she hesitates for a split second, when he takes her arm and folds it into his own, not used to let others lead, not used to trusting someone so wholeheartedly and being trusted equally. it’s… it’s different, it’s new, and it’s a tiny bit overwhelming.

but she needs to do this, she needs to focus, needs to find the center of the labyrinth if any of them are to get out, if they want to stop the minotaur and stop the sacrifices.

she takes a deep breath, tries to calm her mind, and focus on the first portion of the map.

‘okay,’ she says, on another deep breath, and gestures with her hand. ‘we need to go down and to the left.’

‘okay, good, good,’ ezekiel says, and steps forward, no hesitation in following her directions, and she grows more confident with each corner, with each level. he is exactly what he said he’d be, her senses, telling her to watch her step, stopping her when she almost runs into a wall, guiding her and talking to her when he can tell she’s about to let her doubts make them stray from their path.

she opens her eyes at one point, just to get her bearings and because she just can’t keep them closed anymore, but he’s right there to keep her from getting overwhelmed again, whispering a steady stream of ‘it’s okay, you’re doing fine, we’re almost there’ and she closes her eyes again and they’re on their way again.

and when they finally reach the artefacts room, when ezekiel finally pulls her in and she can open her eyes without her senses overloading, she takes a moment to count down, her head full of colour and numbers and layers and a soft, gentle touch.

and later, after the labyrinth is gone, after the thread is in the library and they’re all safe, after she talks with stone and rolls her eyes at ezekiel’s antics, she goes to her little corner of the library, and thinks of that gentle, guiding hand and that feeling, of trusting and being trusted and can’t help the small smile that pulls at the corners of her lips.

the betrayer and the thief, trusting each other and depending on each other and saving the day.

really, who would have thought?

[ellayuki]

23.01.’17

the librarians, on cassandra cillian and the mistery of her tresses post-operation

~

the box was so simple and unassuming, she would have missed it completely had it not been for the bright pink post-it on top of it.

cassandra had been in the hospital for a week before the doctors cleared her completely. the surgery might have been a success, but it had been so complicated, and with so much at stake, that it had been decided to keep her under surveillance a bit longer, to make sure no post-op complications arose.

meaning cassandra had had a week to mourn the loss of her hair and get used to the idea that she'd have to either continue using scarves or buy a wig. of course, she made no comments to her friends about it. they'd worried about her enough as is.

the post-it caught her eye as she was finishing getting ready to leave the hospital, and when she picked it up, it only read ';)'.

curious, she picked up the box, sat on the bed, and opened it. and promptly started crying. and smiling. 

inside, carefully arranged, sat a wig. 

a wig that, had she not touched it, feeling the softness of the tresses, she'd have though was made of her own hair. it was the same shade and the same length and, she noticed as she lifted it to inspect it more, had a small braid to one side.

she couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her throat. 

gently setting the box aside, cassandra went to the little mirror on the bedside table, unwrapped the scarf from around her head and carefully put on the wig. 

it... was perfect. 

she was actually a bit surprised, because it was a bit too perfect. she pushed a few wayward strands behind an ear and admired the look of it and the feel of it and the smile on her face kept growing and growing with every passing second.

for a moment, she had her doubts as to who was behind this, because all her friends were sweet enough to do something like this. but really, this had ezekiel jones written all over it no matter how she looked at it.

the smile softened. 

of course it was ezekiel. 

~*~*~

"thank you." a text says. "i don't know what you're talking about." comes the answer.