#little executive dysfunction things

[laranoa]

I wish when you told someone “I can’t do that,” they would just accept it. I wish there didn’t have to be a reason. People always ask why, and when you say “I don’t know, I just can’t,” they get angry, as if it’s not true unless you can explain it, and the fact that you can’t is proof that there’s no reason at all, and you’re just lazy. Why shouldn’t “I don’t know, I just can’t do it” be a valid answer? Just because you don’t understand or can’t describe something doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

[i-wont-rot]

that mental illness feel when you FINALLY muster the energy to take a shower and you start crying bc it'd been so long since you took a bath like a human being and it's overwhelming to feel even a little functional again

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

wishing everyone a happy new year 2014 from justexecutivedysfunctionthings!

...wait what do you mean it isn’t 2014

holy shit did i forget to set my alarm

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

when people ask me to explain something/tell a story, I just freeze up. It's not that I don't know. But having to remember what happened, assemble all the events/thoughts in logical order, and convert them into words, feels like such a huge task that I can't even make myself begin. The person is just staring at me waiting and I can't make any words come out and I feel so stupid that I wish I could just disappear. Does that sound like an executive dysfunction thing?

This sounds like an executive dysfunction thing! It requires short term memory recall, multitasking, working memory, and organization, usually with a time limit and the unhelpful awkward social situation of someone staring at you expectantly. It’s a lot of work to mentally compile all the relevant information and not only make sense of it yourself but organize it so that it makes sense to other people who weren’t there to experience it. 

It might help to write it down and sort it out on paper first - sometimes that’s the only way I can properly sequence things or prepare my words when I need to talk to other people. And other people aren’t always understanding, which feels like some real BS because if it helps someone communicate better, why consider it a bad thing? I carry a notepad and a pencil with me everywhere in case I need to write something down or work out a problem on paper, and sometimes people will give you strange looks if you do that in front of them, but it can still be helpful. If they’re going to be rude and give you strange looks anyway, might as well do what’s more comfortable for you. I hope you find something that works for you! 

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

is the time thing an adhd thing because oh my god everything about my sense of time is just ??? sometimes time doesn't feel linear to me like i find myself in places in time that just don't feel like they're proceeding in sequence

the time thing is true for a variety of executive dysfunction conditions and ADHD is definitely one of them. it’s in part due to attention span problems, because if your attention is flitting from one thing to another, all those shorter periods of attentiveness to different subjects don’t cumulatively feel like the same amount of time as one long stretch of time spent on the same subject. it’s also it’s easy to lose track of time when you’re hyperfocusing on one thing because all of your attention is there with none left over to pay attention to the rest of the world (time included) moving along without you. 

I’ve described it as falling into a time vortex, because I’ll sit down to do something like write a to-do list for the day, and it will have felt like five minutes for me but in reality an hour has passed. I don’t experience time normally - it’s like my brain just doesn’t exist in the present because it doesn’t operate at that speed. 

for events seeming to proceed out of sequence, it could be because of losing chunks of time in ways like that, making it feel like trying to watch a movie with whole scenes and pieces of scenes missing, so you’re missing the context required to understand the following scenes. if you don’t remember walking into the parking lot and starting your car, going from being at school to being on the freeway won’t make any sense because you’re missing that transition.

there are other conditions that can mess with your sense of time too - dissociation can fragment your perception of time and lead to gaps in memory and that same “time vortex” feeling where time has passed without you being present for it. so that’s also something to look into also if it feels like something more than or different from your other ADHD symptoms.

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

is forgetting to take care of yourself considered executive dysfunction?

definitely, and this is one that I struggle with a lot. day-to-day life is full of little, basic tasks necessary for functioning, like hygiene, cleaning up after yourself, feeding yourself, etc - things that, for abled people, are as automatic and require as little thought as blinking. with executive dysfunction, those tasks are not on automatic, they require far more conscious thought and effort and require more energy and brainpower to complete. it’s overwhelming, and makes it hard enough to just complete those small tasks, let alone bigger tasks like balancing work and school, or school and social life, etc.

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

Tfw your room is messy and your anxiety is freaking out and yelling at you to clean it but your executive dysfunction is making it impossible to clean it so you just kind of sit there and scream

[justexecutivedysfunctionthings]

tfw you procrastinate on going to the bathroom for no reason until you're ready to piss your pants and you rUN TO THE TOILET while regretting everything