Friends, Lovers and Live-Ins
This will be a personal and fluid post as I find the best way to express my feelings. Why? I don't really know; maybe to skip all that "get to know you" phase. It would be good just to hand someone this and say "this is me". Some say that you shouldn't show "all your crazy" all at once. I just want to fast-track the rejection so I don't waste my time or theirs.
I believe that I shall remain single and alone the rest of my life. I would like to be with someone who shares my interests but I have never liked living together for any length of time. I tried the marriage thing but it didn't take and neither did platonic roommates. Metaphorically, because I'm not a parent/grandparent, it's kinda like grandkids, I guess, grandparents love them while they're visiting but they're glad when they go back home to their parents.
I like being alone but I do get lonely.
I have lots of long-term friends, some of which were short-term lovers. I never really found my "soul mate". I might have at one time but he is no longer of this world so I will never know. I miss him very much.
My intimate friends have all been considerably younger than me and I'm uncomfortable when older friends want to be more than friends. As I get older, the considerably younger are less interested so my choices diminish, not that I'm aggressive with my pursuits.
I consider my personality to be less than entertaining. Initially, I appear to be appealing but as people get to really know me, I become less appealing. I have tried to change; it works for a time but then I'm back to the way I was. Many say that I'm a caring and giving person and I just put on a tough facade. I think the caring and giving is the facade.
It's said that you know you are loved when all your faults are known and they love you just the same. You are loved for who you are; unconditionally. The only person that made me feel that way was my friend who is no longer of this world.
It takes me a long time to get to an intimate relationship. I'm not a one-night-stand kind of person. One-night-stands have always approached me; it's never been the other way around and I never took advantage of the encounter. Well, maybe once, but she was a friend and it only happened once; I'm pretty sure alcohol was involved on both sides. I'm not sure it counts as a one-night-stand because she was a friend. We remained friends after that.
When I encounter a person or topic of interest, I am intense about them/it. I am "all in" or not at all; no holds barred. Some would call me a fanatic or worse.
I don't like cats. I like dogs but I think they should remain outside but I also think that's cruel. I create enough mess in my house on my own. I don't need an animal wiping its ass on my carpet and leaving shedding hair on my couch. I'm not really a pets kinda guy.
I'm a prepper. Some of my friends get it, others just ignore it and others think I'm a whack job. Doesn't really matter though; I have no one to share this with except me and my friend who is no longer of this world.
Tattoos: With few exceptions, I think they are an insult to the human body. They detract from its design, contour and beauty.
That's all for now.
Dustin-The-Wind