@asexualnathandrake and I started one of our grand headcanon conversations bc I needed to bless this blog so here it is:
elizabeth dewitt x lara croft headcanons
(ft the illuminati, lizard people, and john mulaney)
I’m the binch, and Nate is... Nate aoidjaleid
binch:
@Chaotic Nate we need to make a list of lizara headcanons
Chaotic Nate:
pls
-lizard
-loves the sun
-eat bug
binch:
uisbygefoshuaie
i meant liz + lara you nutcracker
Chaotic Nate:
JDKSJDAJSJSJSB
MY BAD LMAO
binch:
lara, taking elizabeth on a date:
no no!! eating bugs in the sun is all the rage in the 21st century, promise!!!
(meanwhile lara is hiding the fact that she is one of the lizard people)
Chaotic Nate:
KFNDDNDNSNXNSN
Lara: let's go on vacation somewhere hot
Liz: please no my flesh is gonna burn off
binch:
awbduaw
liz: lara, i don't mean to be rude but you should maybe invest in a moisturizer
Chaotic Nate:
jfjdjidj
binch:
okay but back to them being gays together
so you and.... gosh i forget their url, but yr friend w the AU. lara has a service dog
what else do you think would their lives be like together / happy / gay
you think liz would want to live in france's countryside and lara is down for it bc she secretly doesn't want to be in the big, empty manor
would they have one of those lil scooters
Chaotic Nate:
SCOOTER YES
Hmm maybe Lara sells the Croft estate and or turns it into like a museum or something
binch:
oooo a museum of all the random shit she finds!!
Chaotic Nate:
Lara is still wants to be an archeologist but maybe toned down so she's not dying all the time
Yes !!!
binch:
where does it all go anyways?? how does she carry it everywhere??
+ so she's not getting impaled all the time
Chaotic Nate:
exactly !!!!
maybe she becomes like, a history teacher or an archaeology professor or something too
Or like University have her come in and do seminars
that's a hc I have for Nate too tbh xjsnsnnsnsj
binch:
lmaaaoooo
i think she'd try to be a professor but then there'd be Problems
she would go on about how the history books are wrong
about how she found this lost city she blew up and has no proof of but listen, she knows the truth of it all
Chaotic Nate:
LMAO YEAH
binch:
she'd tell them how she had to fight giant men
with flames
Chaotic Nate:
"my friend was possessed by a ghost queen"
"Miss Croft.... please.... I don't want to fail this exam"
"This IS ON THE EXAM"
binch:
iygsehfpiohwef
"How am I supposed to use this in the real world, Dr. Croft?"
"Well, when you inevitably come across a fanatic, murdering cult, you'll use your LARA SMARTS."
Chaotic Nate:
Lara Croft is John Mulaney
binch:
Lara Croft is John Mulaney is an Immortal is a lizard person
full circle
Chaotic Nate:
Lara Croft is God
binch:
*x-files theme*
Chaotic Nate:
binch:
Lara Croft is the Illuminati is Trinity itself
that would mean
Chaotic Nate:
SHE'S THE VILLAIN ALL ALONG
binch:
tomb raider is all metaphorical for a young god trying to come to understand the world and their power, and they must fight against their crueler, base instincts of ruling all
...or that
Mañana salida confirmada a uno de los rincones más bonitos de nuestro territorio...El Valle de los Sarrios... #lizara #aragues #pirineoaragones #jacetania #ojospirenaicos #guiasdemontaña (en Ojos Pirenaicos Montañismo Interpretativo y Actividades Medioambientales)
