#loeloe

[changetherule-s]

Sapere di avere già perso ma provarci ancora lo stesso.

Kill Mauri, Padrone di me stesso

[fangirlingnextgen]

Night to remember 

- RAENA -

 ‘’Oh no!’’ I cry out and hold onto the wall trying not to sprain my ankle. ‘’Are you okay?’’ Gemma calls from the bathroom where she’s cleaning he make-up brushes she just used on me.

I take my heels off and look at the broken heel. Just at this moment when I’m already tense, my favorite pair of heels break down. this was planned it must.

‘’Calm down, drama Queen.’’ Gem says and walks to me as I push the heels in her hands. ‘’Can’t you just glue it on or something?’’ I ask desperate and I gesture. She examines the heel but shakes her head. ‘’If I did, you’ll be breaking your ankle for real if it breaks again. I’m sorry.’’ I sigh and go with my hands through my hair. Gemma pushes my hands down and shakes her head. ‘’Don’t! I didn’t spend a whole hour perfecting it for you to ruin your hair in two seconds.’’ She scolds.

‘’Sorry.’’ I mumble and play with my dress.

‘’I just need this all to succeed today. First impressions matter the most.’’ Gemma holds me by my shoulders, talking sense into me. ‘’You’re the Princess, they are all here for you. You are the only one to make the decision.’’ I nod brave and take deep breaths as she walks back to my closet.

‘’But my heel?’’ I stammer. ‘’You have 20 more, I’ll send a message to the designer to send you a new pair.’’ I bite my lip. Sometimes it’s for the best that she is so down to earth. I could use it now and then. She helps me in another pair of heels that match my dress. She takes a look at me one last time before putting the mask on. Some of the girls had them on sticks so they could take it off whenever they wanted, but I was determined that my face wasn’t the main point of tonight. Getting to know them was.

It was Aunts Aliya’s idea to do a masquerade ball. we hadn’t had one in a long time and what better way to welcome them?

The schedule was familiar with me and all I had to do in the meanwhile is hide in my own room. The men would arrive at the palace, rushed to the make-overs and after that brought to their rooms where they were allowed to rest a little. Later in the day a butler brought a little package to them with inside a note from me and their mask. The note was the same for all of the selected, but I wrote it so it seems personalized. It must make some of them feel special.

Afterwards they would have dinner together and go back to prepare for the ball. we were at the moment in the schedule where I had to show up.

‘’Good luck Miss. Give me all the details afterwards.’’ She smirks at me and I shake my head leaving the room. I wait on the hallway for Collin to arrive so he could take me to the ball.

Suddenly a pair of arms lift me up in the air, spinning me around. “Little Rae growing up so fast.” I let out a squeal. “Col put me down!” I laugh and hit his arm gently. He chuckles and sets me down after a couple more spins. “Don’t tell me you’re too old for a little fun?” He places a hand dramatically over his heart. “Don’t break my heart like that.”

I laugh some more and flatten the wrinkles out of my dress. “No, no, I wouldn’t dare. It’s just.. I’m about to meet my future husband! That’s crazy.” He shrugs. “Only if you want it to be.” I grin to him. “Nothing can ever go normal in our family remember?” Col sigh but smiles. “Yes, right. It will be okay though.” I nod. “We might as well get going.” Otherwise we’ll be ruining the schedule.

“Lead the way.” I make a dramatic curtsy for him and take his arms, leading him to the Great Room where the ball would be.

“So I figure you’re nervous?” He asks. “Very nervous.” I admit. “I’ll do my best to give you a headstart, don’t worry.” He grins and I smile a little as well. “You’re not going to scare them away right?” “No.. unless I see it fit.” It worried me a little. These men were still our guests, I couldn’t have my family scaring them away. “Hmm okay.. Lex already made a list which guy I could have and which one not.. she probably would be the scariest.” I roll with my eyes.

“I would be surprised if she didn't.” Collin says with a laugh.

“The problem is I don't want her to scare them.. I want this Selection to succeed.” He squeezes my hand and it’s a reassuring feeling. “Hey,  it's alright, don't pressure yourself so much.” “I try not to do it.. but it's hard you know?”

He looks ahead and clears his throat. “Yeah.. but you’re not alone on this, okay?” He pauses. “if you need anything just ask me, even if you think it’s stupid, even if I’m busy, even if it’s the end of the world and you want me to give you the last bottle of water we have..’’ Collin gives me a smile. ‘’I’ll do it.’’

I give him a sideways hugs pressing my head against his shoulder. ‘’Thank you so much, but promise me that we share that last bottle of water.’’ He chuckles and hugs me back. ‘’Well why did I not think of that?’’ he asks what makes me laugh. He’s always so selfless, thinking of others before himself.

‘’Are you ready to talk to 35 future dates?’’ ‘’I’ll have to.. but I’m interested in them.’’ I admit. ‘’Do you know what you’re looking for yet?’’ I think but it’s still the exact same I told Dolci weeks ago. ‘’Someone.. who’s kind and funny . someone who can take the pressure of the job.’’

Colling raises his chin proudly in the air. ‘’I’m starting to believe I might be your ideal guy, Rae.’’ He winks at me and I roll my eyes playfully. ‘’Oh please no, incest!’’

He laughs and kisses my temple. ‘’Just don’t fall for all their jokes and compliments okay? Guys can be lying asses.’’ I make a note of that to myself. Don’t believe everything.

‘’I’ll try my best, but what if he is genuine?’’ ‘’Then he’s a good candidate.’’ He answers simply. ‘’I’m just scared I’ll choose the wrong person.’’ I feel like I’m constantly whining but he doesn’t say anything about his.

‘’Uncle Haiden picked your mom… and grandpa always said he picked the right woman. You’ll be no different when the time comes.’’ I stay silent for a bit before smiling. ‘’Where does all that knowledge come from?’’ he grins. ‘’Almost twenty years of dealing with you monsters?’’ I gasp fake. ‘’I’m not a monster, I’m a Princess!’’ and he laughs as he talks some more about this plan he has. I’m so grateful that he wants to help me with the Selection. Help sort out all the creeps for me, so I only have to meet the ones with potential.

I drag him to the entrance of the Great Room and already hear the music inside. I take a deep breath to calm myself. ‘’Ready?’’ I ask him. Collin adjust his tie. ‘’To impress? Always.’’ He jokes to make me feel better and I chuckle.

I adjust my dark purple mask a little and look at him. ‘’does it look good?’’ ‘’Perfect.’’ He offers his arm for me to take. ‘’Shall we?’’ I nod and take another deep breath. ‘’Yes, let’s do it.’’

The guard opens the door to the Great Room for us and it’s like Aunt Aliya had wanted, a big entrance. All the chatter quiets down and even the music plays softer through the room. I feel Collin holding me tighter and I put on my brightest smile. I feel more confident behind my mask, they can’t see my whole face and due to the dimmed lights it’s not so bad to appear for a big crowd full of expectations.  Collin let’s go of my arm and I guess I have to make an introduction now.

‘’Welcome, everyone. I am glad you all have made it safely to the palace, I hope your flights have been good.’’ I pause and look around the room, still smiling. In the dark they look all the same, neat in suits some more nervous than the other. ‘’It must have been a long day but what better than to end it with a ball. enjoy the drinks and food provided by the palace. Don’t mind me, I’ll be walking around and talk with some of you. Enjoy the evening.’’ I feel a little pat on my back and know for sure that it’s Collin.

The music comes back to life and so does the chatter. I still feel their gazes on me but I turn to mom and dad first who compliment me for that little speech. Then I put my bravery on and mix myself between the men on the floor.

Two come talk to me immediately and after a boring conversation of ten minutes. I talk myself out of it and as soon as I’m out of reach sigh. First start didn’t went well. I look around the room once more and my eye falls on a tall man leaning against the wall and playing with his mask in his hands. Is he having trouble putting it on? Did he take it off because it wasn’t sitting well?

Maybe I should just go talk to him. yes, you can do that.

I walk over to him and give him a small smile. ‘’Good evening, are you enjoying the ball so far?’’ as he looks up I know where I recognized him from. this is the guy that had intrigued Lex. Gabriel.. Gabriel something.

Without warning he takes my hand and kisses it. ‘’I am enjoying more than ever now I have the chance to talk to you. Your Highness.’’  A blush creeps over my face. ‘’Raena is just fine with me. did you had a good trip to the palace?’’

‘’As good as it can be with confident idiots, Raena..’’ he whispers the last part seductively and I feel myself turn even redder. ‘’y-you don’t like the others?’’ I ask.

‘’I don’t think they’re good enough for a future Queen.’’ he answers simply and I find my confidence again, smirking a little. ‘’But you are?’’ ‘’I’ll let you decide.’’ He smirks back at me and sips from his champagne. This guy.. he was definitely trying to flirt and I don’t know if I like it or not.

I tilt my head slightly to the side. ‘’Where were you from again?’’ I smile. ‘’Sonage.. but I already love Angeles… this province is much more… interesting.’’ ‘’Interesting hmm?’’ I say a little confused. What could make Angeles more interesting than his own province. There was a big city but not that much more.

‘’Sonage is so quiet. I know I’ll have more fun here.’’ Gabriel continues. I raise my eyebrows. He likes fun so. ‘’Well you should go talk to Brandon some time then, such a fun guy.’’ I shake my head knowing how Lex poured that vase of water on his head.

‘’Who is Brandon?’’ he asks with a smile. ‘’Not someone I should be worried about I hope.’’ Gabriel winks and I shake my head in a laugh. Oh god can you imagine, me? the wife of that foolish, brainless.. but he’s still Bran.. I just don’t want to wake up next to him.

‘’No, no, don’t worry. Brandon is just kind of a cousin at this point.’’ An annoying but okay cousin.

He laughs as well at my statement and seems a little surprised. ‘’Is it common for ex-selected to stay close at that point? You seem like a big family, I’m jealous.’’ Why would he be jealous… oh wait.

‘’They can stay, if they’re close friends. But.. your family is not that big?’’ his tone seems to change and in the middle of the ball with everyone talking, everything seems sort of sad out of sudden.

‘’My younger brother, Nathaniel, is all I have.’’ He looks down and I place a hand on his shoulder. I didn’t mean to make him sad. I’m already ruining it.

‘’I’m sorry.. he isn’t all on his own in Sonage now right?’’ Gabriel makes a sad smile. ‘’No, I let him with a friend. But I know he can deal without me around. He’s a smart boy.’’ I smile back, glad he’s okay. That is just what I didn’t want with this Selection. People to be separated from their families, missing them and getting homesick.

‘’How old is he?’’ ‘’He just turned seventeen.. but he’s still my little brother. You must know this feeling.’’ I close my eyes briefly. Yes, I do. Dante was still a baby in my eyes and we only differ two years. But I glance at him and suddenly see him dancing with Max. I try not to gasp. He’s happy.. with her.

‘’Yes, I get that. you can call him you know? If you miss your brother too much.’’ I wanted to tell that every selected. Call you family, tell them they miss them.

His voice is dry as he replies. ‘’I know how to contact my brother.’’ I shouldn’t feel attacked but somehow I do. I only tried to help..

‘’Oh, of course. I’m sorry. If there is anything else I can do, tell me okay?’’ I assure him and there is that smile on his face again.

‘’There’s a lot you can do, Raena.’’ How he says my name like that gives me goosebumps. Don’t know if they’re good or not. So I shake my head with a smile. ‘’Nah, I don’t have that many talents. I like painting sometimes, but to say I’m good at it.’’ I think back of the stars and constellations on my ceiling. Gabriel is smirking now again. ‘’I bet you are full of talents.’’ Why does he think so highly of me, he needs to make me stop blush. This was just one guy. ‘’Thank you… what are yours? Y-your talents I mean.’’ This was meant to get to know him, stop blushing.

‘’Among other things, I adapt very easily.’’ He says that with a shrug and I glance a little confused at him. ‘’I see.. what did you in Sonage? Study or did have a job?’’ keep the questions going Raena, you are in charge here. You’re the Princess.

‘’Both, I study philosophy and literature and manage a bar at the same time.’’ I raise my eyebrows again but this time in impressment. Max summed that up, I remember it now. ‘’I must feed my brother too, you know.’’ He adds.

‘’That’s great, how did you manage?’’ ‘’I am very polyvalent. Another talent.’’ I smile at that stupid smirk of him. he makes me smile that is positive. The other two bored me to death.

‘’Last thing before I continue talking to the others. What are you expecting from this Selection?’’ he doesn’t have to think about that before replying. ‘’Surprises.’’

I laugh again at that reply. ‘’I guess, we’ll have to see. Thank you for this conversation.’’ As I say that he leans closer to my ear and whispers. ‘’It was already full of surprises, Raena.’’ Than he walks past me with his glass of champagne and I spin around looking back at him, feeling a little overwhelmed. ‘’Okay..’’

I take deep breaths. That conversation caught me pretty off guard. This was what Collin warned me for but I fell for it anyway. His smirk, the little of flirting.

I look around the room seeing a suitor with curly hair. If I remember correctly that must be Areli, the blind guy. I hesitate for a second. What if I scare him? he wouldn’t know I was behind him.

Be brave, Rae. It’s just a guy and you want to get to know him.

‘’Hi.. Sir Areli was it? I’m Raena.’’ I tell him as I place my hand on his arm. He turns around as if he knew I was behind him and he makes a reverence.

‘’Highness! My pleasure.’’ He says and that makes me smile. Out of all three of them he’s the first to address me properly. That makes me happy. ‘’Welcome to the palace, I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far?’’ ‘’Thank you, it feels wonderful so far.’’ He sounds so genuine and I wonder how this must have been to him. what his experience has been.

‘’I’m glad it does. Have you spoken to the other selected yet? Or perhaps someone of my family? My mother was looking forward to meet you all.’’ That was more than the truth. Mom was so excited to meet them all, she was probably going to claim them as their own kids and cry every time someone had to leave.

‘’Oh, I haven’t talked with your mother sadly, but I had an.. encounter with your brother and cousin.’’ There’s a silence after that sentence and I frown. Dante.. I look once again over my shoulder but he has only eyes for Max. ‘’Please tell me he behaved.’’ ‘’Uh.. he was amusing?’’ I let out a deep sigh. Amusing.. Dante can’t have been that amusing. I let it go and try to go on with the conversation. ‘’So where are you actually from?’’ I ask him. that question makes him smile. ‘’Likely.’’ That one I know, unlikely to Sonage. I laugh about that word joke and smile back.

‘’Is it nice to live there?’’ it must be the same as here. ‘’Well, the weather isn’t that different, Highness. I’d say that usually the biggest change when you visit a different province, but this isn’t the case here. The breeze here smells better though.’’ He shakes his head after he said that. ‘’Sorry, that sounds so weird.’’ I laugh a little. He’s nice and polite. They’re all a little too polite when it comes to addressing me but that’s just what they must have been obliged.

‘’I get what you mean, it must be the gardens. And please, Raena is just fine or even Rae.’’ I wanted  them to feel at ease with me. like I’m not the Princess or the one who they want to marry. just someone they want to get to know better.

He smiles again and I don’t know why, maybe he just likes to smile. ‘’It smells like the ocean actually.. Raena.’’ They all speak my name as if it some kind of magical word.

‘’The ocean.. it’s been a long time since I’ve been there. did you come there often?’’ he thinks with care of that answer.

‘’I didn’t live so close to the beach back in Likely, which is why I mentioned the breeze is differently here. But I enjoyed going every now and then.. now it’s really close though, so maybe I’ll get a chance to go more often.’’ He smiles softly, and I’m sad that the mask and darkness of the room are hiding his face. I would like to see him better. ‘’Well, if I survive here long enough of course.’’ He adds and gives me another smile which makes me smile back.

Going to the beach sounds so nice, what if.. I’ll just do it.

‘’Maybe we can.. how about a first date to the beach?’’ I offer and wait for his reaction. He seems surprised and his cheeks are turning red. ‘’W-wait, you’re asking me on a date already.’’ He pauses and I panic. What if it’s too soon, what if I acted too fast. Oh no, I’m screwing up. He’s going to deny me.

‘’I mean! That’s great! Uh, I just- are you sure?’’ I’m a little stunned. ‘’O-only if you want to? I mean we don’t have to do it tomorrow.. maybe at the end of the week or more weeks or.. I am rambling.’’ I take a deep breath. ‘’Whenever you want.’’

‘’No, no it’s fine! I just.. uhm, I didn’t expect you to ask me out.’’ He lets out an awkward laugh and places both hands on his cane. ‘’Kind of ridiculous considering I am a Selected.’’ I laugh with the same awkwardness as he did. ‘’yes.. uhm I would really like to get to know you better.. but if you would want to do anything else or uhm.. ask me? that’s fine too.’’

There’s that kind smile again and I can’t keep my eyes off it. ‘’The beach sounds perfect, though you shouldn’t let me drive, I’ve been told I’m awful at it.’’ that makes me laugh and people probably turn around us to look at me. ‘’I like that one.’’ I keep smiling and fold my hands. ‘’I would love for you to be my first date, we could go at the end of the week?’’

Areli grins. ‘’It would be my honor, the end of the week sounds lovely.’’ there’s a pause and I realize how long we’ve been talking. ‘’I wish I could stay longer, but it wouldn’t be fair to the rest.. and maybe we could save some stories for our date?’’ his smile widens. ‘’definitely.’’

I want to extend my hand but he does it at the same time so I take his, letting my lingering a little longer as he brings my hand to his lips, kissing it hesitantly. He touches me as if I’m made of glass. It makes me feel special in some way. ‘’Thank you for this opportunity.’’ He says.

That makes me blush. ‘’no, no thank you, I just.’’ I reply a little stuttering which makes him let go of my hand. ‘’I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.’’ I place my hand on his shoulder to assure him again. ‘’it’s alright. I wanted to say that the pleasure is all mine. Really. I’m glad that you’re along these men.’’ He now smiles back sheepishly. ‘’Oh.. thank you Raena. I’m glad to be here too.’’

I feel a little brave and lean closer, kissing his cheek quickly, like friends do. ‘’Have a nice evening and enjoy the ball.’’ even in the dark I can see him turn bright red. He whispers something but I can’t hear it and smile one last time turning away.