um yes hello I would like kate/loki for ship meme pls
FUCK YES THANK YOU
i feel like this is kinda a mix of movie and comics loki so for our purposes let’s say the events of Avengers happened after the whole mother parasite thing in case some off these get too movie specific
Send me a ship and I will answer the following questions about them:
1. Who kissed the other first? ok ok it was one of those mutual pining sexual tension moments where suddenly they can’t stand to not be touching each other. they get into arguments about who initiated the first kiss. they both think they did.
2. What was their first fight about? obviously lots of debates, pre-dating, about the ethics of world domination and lying to your friends. their first argument as a couple was really, really stupid, it was about which of Kesha’s songs is the best. They didn’t speak to each other for three days (and yeah there was a lot of other stuff going on under that argument, so really it was about Kate putting herself in what loki deemed unnecessary danger)
3. Who sleeps in the couch more often? Loki gets ~sent to the couch~ or w/e a lot but Kate usually caves and winds up curling up with him on the couch. Loki usually wakes up about an hour after this happens and moves them both to the bed. He’s a little too tall for the couch.
4. Who drinks coffee and who drinks tea? Loki drinks tea; he’s actually gotten Kate to like it! He makes terrible coffee though
5. Who goes grocery shopping more often? Loki does not understand the concept of grocery shopping per se. Why can’t he just conjure food? Don’t they have someone to do this for them? No, no, lets just go out to eat.
Then he learned he could make his own pancakes and it was game over. Kate usually has to go grocery shopping with Loki just to act as impulse control
6. Who brings breakfast in bed? Loki, Loki LOVES making breakfast and if he can earn extra bonus points for feeding Kate??? Yeah boiiiii
7. Who sleeps first? Kate. Loki sometimes pretends to fall asleep first so he can hear the silly things Kate murmurs to him when she thinks he’s asleep
8. Who watches the other sleeping? Loki doesn’t need as much sleep as humans, so she really enjoys watching her. Kate tosses and turns a lot and winds up in very weird positions sometimes. It’s very funny for Loki
9. Who met the parents in law first? Kate met Odin. He hated her. Kate then met Frigga, who LOVES her. Frankly, Frigga is the only parent Kate cared about. (movie Frigga, obviously. Comic Frigga? Hey, comic Frigga, Kate was born with the gift of hands and she’s going to make that your problem)
10. Who does the laundry? bold of you to assume either one of them understand laundry. Loki just sort of…magics the bloodstains away
11. Who washes the dishes? Magic.
12. Who clean up the house? Magic? No, it’s Loki. TIDY ON THE OUTSIDE TIDY ON THE INSIDE, KATE
13. Who washes the car? Loki washes Kate’s car and tries to be super sexy about it. In heels? Yeah, probably.
14. Who brings take outs? Kate brings it, Kate finds a million places to try and expand Loki’s palate.
15. Who calls the other to ask if they want something from the street? it’s Loki. Loki calls to see if Kate wants food, a scarf, a knockoff purse, a hot dog, a cool leaf, a stray kitten
16. Who’s more likely to make plans? *avpm quirrel voice* EVIL PLANS? Loki makes lots of plans. elaborate romantic plans, fancy hotels, rose petals strewn everywhere, horseback rides on the beach, elaborate pranks against the avengers…
17. Who dreams about a big wedding? Loki loves a show. Loki also loves that a big wedding would be a big “fuck you” to their parents and the avengers. Loki has a million ideas about the dresses they could wear
18. Who breaks the cups? Loki has broken one (1) cup and immediately magicked it back together and that was it
19. Who holds the umbrella? Loki HAS to because they’re taller than Kate
20. Who takes the other to the dance floor? Loki loves dancing and clubs. Not that Kate doesn’t, but Loki loves it MORE
21. Who does the big romantic gestures? See above re: plans, it’s Loki, mostly because everything Loki does is unintentionally a BIG GESTURE. Offering to jail Derek on Asgard? Done that. Reservations at the best hotel in the nine realms, complete with spa package and diamond shower? It happened. Loki designing half of Kate’s wardrobe to be both fabulous and intimidating? Obviously. Threatening Kate’s landlord so he stops harassing the tenants? Yup. Loki loves Kate and wants EVERYONE TO KNOW IT. If you piss her off, guess what? You just pissed Loki off. Good luck, motherfucker.
22. Who’s more likely to serenade? they do duets, actually :) they were bored one day and sang “left handed kisses” and even though it’s very much not a love song, Billy saw it and was alike GASP THEY ARE TOGETHER
23. Who forgets the wet towel in bed? Loki, but only because Kate sees Loki in a towel, dripping from the shower, and pulls them into bed
24. Who don’t pick up things when they fell? why does Loki need to pick things up? Don’t they have a roomba for that?
25. Who keeps losing the keys? pfftpffp ok it’s Loki but NEVER as Lady Loki, when Loki is Lady Loki she puts the keys down her bra and never loses them
26. Who sings the rap part? Loki. Yeah, it’s Loki
27. Who pretends to be sad just so the other will cheer they up? Loki, only it’s not really pretend, Loki is just actually sad, sometimes insecure about gender stuff, and those days kate makes sure they are extra gay, lots of glitter, living room dance party with lots of Carly Rae Jepson
28. Who wakes up ready for a marathon? Loki has SO MUCH ENERGY oh god it’s unreal, please let me sleep. lots of morning sex happens because of this, which results in Kate being even more sleepy, but at that point Loki is content to cuddle
29. Who buys them tickets for shows? Loki is ALWAYS up on which shows are coming up, who is performing in them. They saw Bette Midler in Hello Dolly. Loki is a BIG patron of off-broadway and workshopping shows
30. Who choose the movie? again, Loki “I Made Theatre” is a patron of the arts. Even detective Pikachu. ESPECIALLY detective pikachu.
31. Who says ‘I love you’ more often? Kate does. Loki has had such a weird life, gotten lied to a lot by people who were supposed to care, and Kate just wants to make sure Loki knows. She loves them, no reservations, nothing expected in return.
32. Who keeps waving at people after they got engaged? both of them. they are so obnoxiously adorable about being engaged. HOWEVER, they were both planning to propose and Loki is still a little steamed that Kate beat him to the punch
33. Who uses the most ridiculous nicknames for the other? Loki calls Kate the weirdest shit in a million languages. She’s pretty sure they’re slightly insulting because they won’t translate them for her. (they’re not. they are ABSURDLY ADORABLE and Loki is too embarrassed to translate)
34. Who’s responsible for date nights? Kate is in charge of casual date nights. Movies and pizza, picnics, chillin.
35. Who wakes up one day and decides to stay in bed? Loki, who is very unbothered by Kate’s having a job and tries to convince her that she should just stay. Only works about half the time. well. three quarters of the time. NOT MORE than 90 percent of the time.
