Bat's Feathers, Cat's Feathers.

I read a gratuitous amount of fanfiction and I post links to my favourites here. I'm a sucker for space, spooks, and candles.

[onion-souls]

Why do mummies always get the 10 Plagues of Egypt as powers?

If I was a reanimated Pharoah I would not be pulling from the Exodus story.

I got my ass beat I ain't posting that shit

[giucomix]

if i was a reanimated american i would want 9/11 powers

[onion-souls]

This was the plot of that Tom Cruise mummy movie

[skelegun]

It reminds of all the movies and stuff where like the Salem Witches are actually witches with devil powers, and not ya know like people wrongly accused by their neighbors for petty grudges and personal gain.

[onion-souls]

Yeah, those always make me wonder if we're supposed to be on the witch hunters side? Those movies and films always seem to have the witch hunters be as stern, dogmatic, and dangerous as they were in real life, but Satan also seems to be an active agent in the world empowering witches, so... go get 'em, I guess?

[edgar-allan-possum]

How many Mummy movies have the Ten Plagues as a power? I know the Brendan Fraser one does but in that movie they're supposed to be a curse on whoever wakes the mummy up

[onion-souls]

Not sure about just movies, but it's a thing in wider mummy fiction; Others just off the top of my head: The Seventh Plague by James Rollins, Mummy: the Ressurection's Plague of Ma'at, Mummy: the Curse has plagues as powers (no Big Frog, tho), and Nagash in the Tomb Kings lore.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

[cheaphalloweencostume]

happy birthday devils sacrament. i wish you were never born

[blunella]

[johannamanuela]

Xena’s amazing costumes.

[blumineck]

When your blacksmith buddy says “hey man do you want a bardiche?”, the answer is always yes!

I have a website now!

[prokopetz]

Historically, one of the most reliable sources of widespread banditry was rulers ramping up military recruitment for major wars, then cutting their soldiers loose afterwards without pay, leaving a bunch of heavily armed men with military experience floating around broke and homeless.

Knowing this, whenever someone jokingly refers to raccoons as "trash bandits", I get a vivid mental image of, like, a raccoon succession crisis leading to a raccoon civil war, the aftermath of which forced the former soldiers of the losing side (who are all raccoons) to take up the life of the raccoon outlaw.

[homunculus-argument]

Hey people who have several pets, with obvious differences in intelligence levels: How did you figure out that one of them is smarter than the other? What do they do?

[mikkeneko]

There are a lot of things that lead me to think my elder cat is unusually intelligent compared to other felis domesticus I have known (understands pointing, can open every door and cabinet in the house except the ones with round knobs or that I added child locks to, understands enough English to know from a phone conversation that a stranger is coming to the house) but in terms of specifically comparing one to the other, there was The Case Of The Mousey Puzzle Box.

When we got our younger cat Skadi, her favorite toy was (still is, but she's calmed down with age) the rattley mouse. She would bring the mouse to be thrown for fetch so many times that not even two human adults in the house could keep up with her. So my partner started making puzzle boxes to put the rattley mouse in that would occupy her for longer.

So, we have a setup: mouse is in the puzzle box, puzzle box is on the floor, younger cat is trying to resolve the puzzle box, elder cat is sitting on the cat tree observing all this. Skadi spends about fifteen minutes trying and failing to get the mouse out of the box. She sticks her paw into the holes. She sticks her nose into the holes. She pushes the box to and fro on the carpet. She meows beseechingly for a human to come solve the problem. Sticks her paws into the holes again.

Finally, she gives up on the puzzle box and wanders over to see if there's any food to be had. As soon as she walks away the elder cat gets up from the cat tree, big stretch, jumps down, walks over to the puzzle box, hooks a paw under the edge and flips the whole thing over, spilling the mouse onto the floor.

Gives the younger cat a look of utter disgust as if to say "That's all you had to do!" and then walks away, utterly uninterested in actually playing with the toy.

[bisexualbaker]

Older cat just subjected to fifteen minutes worth of those horrible mobile game ads where the player is failing really badly to make you want to play.

[kalak]

Yoda is so cool if you think about it. Imagine living for a near millenium, imagine all your friends dying around you, and seeing entire kingdoms rise and fall, and being like, three feet tall for that entire time. And did he bitch and moan like all those vampires and immortals and a certain time lord who all have long life spans? No, he did ketamine like a distingushed gentleman and fucked off to dagobah when things went to shit. Respect tbh

[kalak]

On a scale of yoda to tenth doctor how well does your mystical long-lived being take being 900 years old

[youremysunshine8]

4am perfec t size for put decisions in to make! 4am very Clear thinking and Comfort no need sleep soundly make decisions at 4am. Put Decision In 4am. no problems ever at 4 am because good Shape and Support for tired brain weak of struggle make sad. Afouram awake yes a place for a thought put action in 4am can trust middle of night for giveing good love to brain. friend 4am

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

"cigarette" implies the existence of a much larger "cigar"

[patronsaintofmistakenidentity]

i recovered by the time i hit post but when i first had this thought i had genuinely forgotten cigars exist

[the-sapphic-raven]

You (derogatory)

[thepleasuregoblin]

Japanese language be like

[princechorus]

my housemate is a linguistics major

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

bubble tea is amazing to me. tea is already Not That Good and now you've gone and put gelatin in it? 1950s cookbook behavior

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"actually it's tapioca" do you HEAR YOURSELF

[elisabethdeep-blog]

wrongest Gaud take ever, I'm eagerly awaiting further developments.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

all of my opinions about tea basically boil (heh) down to the fact that tea leaves should be eaten not steeped

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

Leaving aside the fact that most bubble tea does not involve tea leaves for a second, YOU'RE EATING THE TEA LEAVES?? Is that a Gaid thing, or is it common practice i have entirely missed?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the only times i have successfully derived pleasure from consuming tea it was

masala chai, consisting of crushed black tea mixed with herbs & spices (which are admittedly doing the heavy lifting)

lahpet thoke aka Burmese tea salad, the key component of which is fermented or pickled tea leaves, which are TRANSCENDENTAL and the best possible use of tea leaves. other salad ingredients vary by preference, but it's the pickled leaves that are the star of the show

in conclusion, beverages are a waste of my time and jars of pickled tea leaves belong on a shelf in every kitchen in every home, thank you

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[tatzelwurming]

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

[homo-neandertalensis]

Was made to groove

[tatzelwurming]

my man

[chillyfeetsteak]

i gave the venus of willendorf a brewski

[verins-little-notebook]

venus of chillendorf

[glumshoe]

Me: “Singing is the left hand of stabbing; stabbing is the right hand of singing. Knife karaoke is the sacred clasping of the hands. It is unity and balance.”

Coworker: “It’s going to be really weird if you ever stop working here.”

[themiscyra1983]

This seemed like a really deep commentary on the symbiosis of civil disobedience and outright revolution until I hit “knife karaoke”

[glumshoe]

yeah no knife karaoke is just a sport I invented

[xanaxfarts]

Dragon Sculpture sitting at the bottom of Lake Neuchâtel. Location: Romandy, Switzerland

[nico-the-overlord]

¨Came back wrong¨ but I actually came back better than ever, people are just stupid and refuse to believe such a fact

[nico-the-overlord]

hold up please elaborate prev

[omtai]

i knew this would happen. i meant jeremy bentham from abc’s 2004 tv show LOST (where there’s a guy named john locke (also an english philosopher))(who happens to be the same guy as jeremy). this stuff happened to him

[nico-the-overlord]

I read this too late, was into doing some research and thought you were then referring to the fact that philosopher apparently was taxidermied as ¨coming back¨

[omtai]

HE WAS TAXIDERMIED??????