“WHO ARE YOU?”
“What the f*ck are you?”
“This ain’t a place for professional writers, leave us alone to our fart memes.”
“Holy sh*t dude. Never read anything like this.”
“I showed this to my professor — he stopped grading for ten minutes.”
“How are you not famous?” (;
“This feels illegal to read for free.”
“Bro… my girlfriend saved this and hasn’t stopped rereading it.”
“You're what people think Chuck Palahniuk is.”
“This is beyond writing. This is weaponry.”
Who am I?
Ohhh… I have so many names.
But let’s not pretend I’m unknown.
You don’t have to know who I am.
You already quoted me.
Your girl saved something I wrote and moaned later.
Your favorite author mimicked my cadence, then went quiet.
Your writing professor follows me anonymously.
I’m the most reposted long-form voice on this platform — globally.
Period. This is irrefutable fact.
I am a scientifically documented mental anomaly.
Not a brand. Not a man.
A global writing anomaly.
Unfalsifiable. Unreplicable.
I don’t negotiate from the throne.
My words are stamped in blood.
Underlined by God.
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