So in the past year I did a lot of shit that I didn’t tell my family about. It resulted in me finally having had enough, a hospital bill, some student loan debt, and moving in with my boyfriend’s family.
I did not want to stay in Floridia because I was alone there and the amount of debt I would leave Embry-Riddle with was so much with little guarantee to having a job that can pay that debt off. I missed my family and I missed my boyfriend.I was extremely lonely and it was the worst 4 months I had lived through so far in my young life. I had an awful experience with my roommate that left me in a big dorm room alone. The debt aside, I had this huge weight on my shoulders to go out and do something extrodanary that most people in my generation were told is possible through college. And life just isn’t like that anymore and there are more options to go and do the things you want.
i did not want to be an unexperianced child in a state far away from home. I wanted to live a little and make mistakes that would help me to live and better respond to everything. The one time I tried to tell my family I didn’t want to go out of state anymore, money had already been spent and my dad wanted to kick me out of the house. SO i reverted and said well then I will go after fall semester. And I did and it didn’t do me any good. EVents unfolded that semester that led me to go into the hospital for a ver bad self inflicted cut on my thigh. I sat in the psych-ward for about a day before I was relased that broughtm y concerned grandmother to my dorm room.
She sat and she listened to everything I had to say and all the reasons as to why I was “revolting” against my family. SHe saw I was unhappy having to constantly hide my feelings towards things because my dad wouldn’t let me do certain things that weren’t entirely bad but would also keep me from making mistakes. Basically sheltering me and also keeping me from doing the things he didn’t like me doing.
my options were to take the brave path of leaving the arms of my dad or staying under my dads wings but remain miserable,
I slept on it, had many arguments on it, i even got my own mother back into my life. My mom coming back into my life was hoenstly what did it. SHe had nothing to give me but she could not stand that this is what I was going through alone. 11 years she was with my dad and he did the same things to her, Controlling and emotional abuse is something he has always done and my mom didnt want that for me.
SHe listened to me. SHe heard me when I said, college is not like it used to be, i understnad i will have debt a si grow older but this is a smarter way, and a way that I personally would like to go about acheilveing my goals. less money spent for the same type of paper. I was lonely, I just wanted to be near famiy. SHe udnerstood that, and she agreed that I shouldnt stay there at Embry-Riddle. My dad made it a living hell for me to get out of that state. He told me to tell my boyfriends family “If that family cares about you they will pay the rest of your college tutition.” to which, they did. He also made my uncle not help me leave the state, basically leaving me stranded, to which, my boyfriends family dropped over 300 dollars getting me out of the state. That is a plane ticket and shipping my stuff. they spent at least 600 dollars on me to get me away from that school.
I frankly, want nothing to do with my family for a long time. I just want to live my life. My uncle is helping me pay for school so I feel obligated to at least comply with things he wants. He wants me to talk to my dad who makes no effort to try and talk to me. EVeryone is waiting on me rather than them asking me. I have moved past everything. I don’t give a flying fuck anymroe. when i moved past it i immedately felt 10 times better than before. of course, they have to make shit worse during the holidays and now all the feelings are back. My mom wants to come to asutin and pack my shit for me and take me to stay with her. my boyfriend wants to sternly tell my family to fuck off. my uncle wants me to talk ot my dad. the family expects me to talk to him and make the call.
and im so fucking tired of it
i jsut want them to fuck off and leave me alone. it doesn’t bother me anymore and of course ebcause it still bothers them, they have to keep bring it up.
