Okay friends, I had an idea about this fic and I'm wondering if it already exists or if I need to write it. I was thinking about Jamie at Ardsmuir, and how desperate he was for someone to touch him, to love him (he and Claire discuss this, I think in ABOSAA). He rejected John because he was afraid - because of Black Jack and because he thought it was wrong, and also probably because he was afraid of putting too much distance between him and the men he felt obligated to protect - we already KNOW that he was conflicted about spending time with John. But surely part of him would have loved to accept John's offer. There must have been internal conflict. So I want to get inside his head about it, I want to know what he was thinking, and I don't even care if the story ends with him accepting or rejecting John like he does in canon. I just want to see what it feels like in his head.
