#lost scribbles

[lostbookwyrm]

I've been thinking about him a lot lately...

[lostbookwyrm]

Just some scribbles of Richie treating the other Losers like his own personal furniture. Not all of them are perfect, but they get the point across.

[lostbookwyrm]

Yo I love your drawing dude! Would you be interested reading my comic AU? :o

#asks

Sure, why the hell not :)

Have some scribbles I did while I was there

I like Clay, they are so unbothered.

(Thanks for the compliment btw :3)

[lost-in-thought-20]

10. “You’re the one avoiding me.” 

For Sanders Sides of course, whatever character you'd like 💙

From the "Why are you avoiding me?" writing prompts!

Pairing: Roceit

Warnings: mention of sex/one night stand, kissing, not much else I think.

Word count: 1,242

...

Roman wasn't the one at fault here - let's make that clear.

It was Janus who had articulated that the night they spent together, didn't mean anything. And if it didn't mean anything, Roman wouldn't go on to pretend it had any relevance in his life anymore.

Because it didn't.

He would just not make eye contact with that grad student living down the same dormitory hallway, who he essentially didn't have sex with. He would just not mention his name when his brother asked what or who kept him too occupied last night, to call him back. He would just not engage with anything more than ordinary, meaningless morning chatter in the common kitchen.

Because essentially nothing happened.

Roman was able to uphold this for about a week, until Janus was the one calling out to him.

"Hey, is my face really too appalling for you to look at?"

Roman was just about to exit the kitchen and get his bag ready for class, when a snobby voice adressed him from the counter. With a sigh, he halted.

He knew he shouldn't engage. He knew he shouldn't mention anything, or make eye contact.

But... if he didn't, this guy might never truly get out of his sight. Out of his mind.

"...your face is not the problem," Roman mumbled, to which he heard Janus scoff.

"Oh, I see. You're worried I'll get you flustered again by just having you look at me, huh? So that's why you haven't looked me in the eyes since -"

"Oh, you think that's the problem?"

With a huff, Roman boldly turned around to make a point.

...what point exactly, he wasn't sure. Roman just knew that staring into those blue-brown heterochromatic eyes, his delicate face with wrinkled scar tissue on his left cheek, and those soft and slightly pursed lips emphasizing his look of judgment...

Janus would almost manage again what he had, during the night that... nothing happened.

"The... The problem is, is that I'm getting fed up with you scrunching your nose at me and facing away, like I'm some filthy speck of dust in the air!" Roman said as he threw up his arms.

"I- I'm the one facing away?" Janus let out an incredulous chuckle, vainly placing a hand on his own chest. "Oh, honey, you're the one avoiding me."

"I- I am not!"

"Please. I've had enough flings like you to know the look of shame in your eyes, trying to ignore what happened between us."

That statement struck Roman as hurtful in more ways than one. Not only was he reduced to a 'fling', but it made it appear like Janus was hopelessly pessimistic in people's attraction towards him.

Roman exhaled through his nostrils, and crossed his arms. "You don't know me, Snobbily Blond. Heck, you made it very clear you don't even wanted to know me."

Janus paused for a moment, before sighing. He rubbed his forehead with thumb and index finger, "...look. I told you before, I-"

"-you're not dating material, I know."

Roman huffed again, feeling himself get increasingly frustrated. He'd already engaged a lot more with Janus than he had this past week, and maybe that was a sign he should stop.

But somehow... he didn't want to. He wanted to make his point clear.

Whatever that was.

"I remember what you said." Roman scoffed lightly and looked down. This was dangerous territory - spreading lies that their night together wasn't anything more than a release of sexual tension when their bodies demanded it. The things left unsaid, but were felt, might as well have never happened.

...Right?

"...I remember you telling me this was a one-time thing," Roman continued and rubbed his arm, talking quietly. "You told me you just wanted to get laid. And frankly... part of me did, too. But..."

Was he really about to get vulnerable with a fling? Why risk embarrassing himself in a way Janus would clearly take advantage of?

What point did Roman want to make?

...Maybe he should let his heart speak for itself, then.

"But another part of me, wanted to feel wanted, again. After..."

He swallowed, and shook his head. Not that vulnerable.

"...whatever. And you did, somehow. You somehow managed it, with your stupid, smug face and your peculiar eyes and that consistent smirk." Roman placed his hand on the counter, looking at one of the cupboards instead of Janus. "I felt wanted, for a night. And then..."

Roman's hand slipped off the counter, and he made eye contact with Janus.

"And then, you hurt me. You said it didn't mean anything. It was just sex. There was nothing to it. You rendered my moment of happiness... meaningless, basically."

Janus stammered and scoffed softly, looking away. But the way his lips twitched and eyes squeezed together, made Roman believe he was getting his point across.

Whatever that was.

"And I didn't want it to hurt anymore, so I tried to convince myself it was indeed meaningless," he said. "Nothing happened between us, because it didn't mean anything."

He took a step forward, and his heart somehow voiced the point he was trying to make.

"And we could have just kept doing that, if you didn't just call me out on it. Which leaves us with two options, basically."

Boldly, Roman pressed two fingers to Janus' left cheek and turned his head to face him. Janus seemed to swallow, looking uncomfortable.

Roman cockily raised his eyebrows, then retracted his hand to hold up one finger.

"Option uno: we go back to ignoring each other, avoiding the situation, convincing ourselves that nothing happened. And maybe, who knows, we might be civil to each other again."

Something shifted in Janus' eyes, almost as if he seemed dissatisfied with the option that would suit his preferences most - the hypocrite.

Roman held out a second finger.

"Option dos: you ask me on a date."

Janus' eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" he stammered. "What makes you think I am suddenly interested in dating you?"

"I didn't think that." Roman shrugged, pursing his lips a little to feign disinterest. "I just think I have a right to judge whether you are 'dating material'."

Janus once again chuckled incredulously.

Before... a silence fell between them.

The two stared at each other for a couple seconds, and Roman was almost transported back to that night - when their eyes met on the dance floor of the club.

Janus stepped closer.

"What about option tres?"

Roman opened his mouth to talk, but struggled to get the words out. Janus had already cupped his cheek by that point.

"There is no..."

Janus' thumb traveled across Roman's plumb lower lip. Just like he did that night.

The memories of the sensations, the feeling of being wanted again, involuntarily flooded back to him.

Janus' pupils traveled down to Roman's lips.

Roman gulped - he knew he had to speak. "That's... a condition," he said softly, looking into those brown-and-blue eyes with determination. "A condition to option dos. Take it or leave it."

Again, it was quiet. Roman failed at keeping the tension and tingling in his abdomen from rising.

Then, with that smug face, Janus smirked.

"Lo acepto."

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Roman's lips.

...Roman wasn't at fault here - Janus tricked him into kissing him.

He wasn't going to feel that happiness again.

...Not yet, anyway.

Their date will determine whether their night together had meant anything at all.

[lost-in-thought-20]

Happy Birthday, Dreamer!

For @theimprobabledreamersworld​, a little birthday gift for you! A drawing and a short fic to accompany it down below, featuring Analogical 💜💙

I hope you have a lovely day to celebrate you 🥰 You have come so far, I’m so proud of the steps you’ve made this past year, and I am so so grateful to be friends with you. You’re truly such a kind and loving person, incredibly talented, and you bright up my day whenever we chat. Love you hon, happy birthday 💙

...

It Takes Two to Reconnect

“I’ve just… been kind of anxious.”

Virgil wrapped his hands around his glass of ginger tea, the smell mixed with honey so nostalgic. And yet, not nostalgic enough to keep his leg from trembling under the table. It was trembling so much that even Logan had noticed, sitting across from him.

“Oh, have you been doing okay?” Logan asked, his voice slightly pitched with concern. “I hope I am not taking up too much of your time.”

“No, no, not at all,” Virgil shook his head, “That’s not it… Well, it is. But like, I’ve been anxious about this.”

He let out a nervous chuckle, and Logan huffed as he lowered his head. He stared into his own glass of ginger tea, warmth evaporating from the beverage making his glasses clouded. 

“That makes two of us, then.”

The continuation of this fic can be found on AO3!

[lost-in-thought-20]

Little announcement: I think I wanna start from scratch with a taglist for my writing (and drawing...? possibly, would anyone be interested in being tagged for my drawings?). 

So anyways, if you wanna be tagged, let me know in this post through comments or reblogs!

[lost-in-thought-20]

(Bad things happen bingo related)

Perhaps crutches + memory loss with Roman as the victim?

"Crutches" and "Memory Loss" (Roman)

Warnings: (past/referenced) abuse, swearing, PTSD, (past/referenced) toxic relationship

Word count: 1,458

A/N: I got another request for "memory loss", so I decided to implement it loosely in this fic, then save the rest for another one. Also, I really hope I haven't been offensive/ableist in talking about physical disabilities and using crutches. Some of it has been filtered through Roman's POV, but if I came across as offensive in any way, that was not my intention at all and I will make sure to do edits where needed <3

...

Roman had never thought twice about how liberating it is to run - to walk, even. To take a stroll through the park and hear the muddy soil stick to the soles of his shoes, like he was in touch with nature.

He had never taken a moment to truly appreciate something so mundane, until he lost his leg.

He couldn't walk anywhere now, without the use of crutches. Before there could have been any preparations for a prosthetic, it would require his leg to heal first. Or rather, whatever was left of his leg. There was a stump at the end of his thigh, right about where his knee would be. There had been no choice but to amputate it.

Despite how relieved Roman was to see his reminder of what had happened had been literally torn off his body, walking hadn't been the same.

Roman sucked at using crutches. He'd been practicing for days now, but his arms were always too weak to support his weight. 

Even now, having woken up on a late morning and sitting at the edge of the bed, Roman was reluctant to even grab his crutches.

His stomach was growling for his body to be fed, but… right this morning, Roman just wished he had the strength to get himself some breakfast without relying on something or someone else all the time.

Roman sighed, reaching for an extra vest over his blouse to keep him warm. He hadn't bothered getting dressed for a few days in a row now.

He saw his crutches leaning against the small table next to his bed. Gathering some resolve and rubbing his hands over his face, he eventually reached for them and secured them in his grip. He clutched his crutches and pushed them against the floor for support, and carried all his remaining weight on his left leg. 

The groan that erupted from Roman’s throat made him sound like an old man, and he hated it. He huffed, balancing himself for a moment and feeling an ache in his arms' muscles already. 

This was going to be another tiring day.

And yet, it would be a day he wouldn’t take for granted. He knew he should be grateful he hadn’t been brought into the hospital too late and bled out. He should be grateful his neighbors were home that night.

He shouldn’t be moping at all. And yet… he couldn’t help it. Roman was a ‘drama queen’ after all. And these past weeks have probably been the most ‘drama’ he had experienced in his whole life.

Roman let out a sigh, and stumbled to make his way to the door. First things first, a glass of water and some cereal, so he could swallow down another aspirin before his back pain would act up again. He opened the door and walked out into his hallway –

The stove was on.

It was a gas stove, one of the few things in his apartment Roman had been a proud owner of. And he always checked to make sure his stove was off, when he went to sleep.

He froze, his heartbeat unable to block out the undeniable sound of something sizzling in a pan.

There was someone in his house.

But who would be in his house to make breakfast right now? He couldn’t remember inviting anyone in last night, or the nights before…

Wait.

How many nights had he been at home now? Who was it that brought him home when he was let out of the hospital? What day of the week was it..? When was he released?

“You’re never getting out of this house.”

Roman made a noise and shook his head. His heart clenched from a horrible dread settling into his bones. No, it happened, it was over. Wasn’t it?

“You’re never gonna walk out on me again, you slut…”

Roman whimpered on instinct, and he felt a phantom pain in his stump. His other leg started to tremble, and he fell backwards against his door, which forcibly fell shut.

“...After everything I’ve done for you.”

Roman’s breath got stuck in his throat, his head pounded. He needed to take his aspirin.

“You just take me for granted, don’t you? Is this how you repay me?”

“No…” Roman’s voice was so small and hoarse, that it was barely audible as a whisper. His chest stuttered. The air was sucked from his lungs. He heard a pit of the stove being turned off.

Footsteps were approaching the hallway.

“I’ll make sure you never get to run away from me.”

“No no no no no-...” Roman whimpered and shut his eyes. The footsteps sounded so heavy in his ears, each step made the floor vibrate that shook his being to his core. 

He could picture Vince dragging his feet towards him. Ready to squeeze his throat so he wouldn’t scream for help, or break his other knee so he wouldn’t flee. His crutches slipped from his grip and clattered to the floor.

“Ro…”

Roman wanted to mutter more words of denial, shutting his consciousness off so he wouldn’t have to experience this reality. 

It happened, it was supposed to be over.

With pursed lips, a whine escaped from Roman’s throat and tears spilled from the corners of his shut eyes. His body quaked from a primal fear to freeze. Maybe he could go limp, go numb, not have to feel any pain again –

Then, a hand touched his shoulder. And Roman’s mind flared with panic.

“NO!” 

He shoved forward and heard a grunt, as a body of muscle slammed against the opposite wall. 

Now he had really done it. Now he would never be able to walk, let alone run. Not after Vince was done with him –

“What the… Ro?”

Roman’s shortness of breath caused him to pant, as his stretched arms remained in place and he was too terrified to open his eyes. He just prayed Vince would get it over with quick.

“Ro… Roman!”

He expected a kick in his stomach. A sole to his other knee. A fist in his face.

He didn’t expect two callous, large hands, warm and sweaty and so remarkably familiar, to clutch his own. The unsuspecting warmth seemed to disarm him. To make sense of what was happening, Roman opened his eyes.

His able leg buckled and Roman fell…

…dragging his brother down with him.

“Ro…! Hey! You with me?” 

How Remus managed to catch him mid-fall, Roman had no idea. An instinctive part of his body made his muscles tighten, from the sensation of being wrapped up in someone’s arms. He wouldn’t have been strong enough to escape. But… he knew these arms.

Even though it had been a while since they had held Roman like this.

“Ro?” Remus insisted, shaking him gently as Roman limped sideways against his brother’s chest. He was still trembling all over and his breathing was shallow, and with one hand he tugged himself free only to clutch Remus’ smelly shirt. He buried his face into it… and the smell was so vivid. His brother’s sweat was something Roman would never forget.

He stayed over last night, didn’t he?

“I-I thought…” Roman whimpered, “I thought… he got inside-...”

“...nah, no way,” Remus held onto Roman with one arm secured around him, rubbing his back to stop the shivers. “That’s why I’m here, remember? Been staying over a few days now… Keeping you company. You know I’m the best company you can ask for, no one beats my odor and humor!”

Roman would have scoffed and thought of a response… if he wasn’t still trying to stop himself from shaking. “...I’m scared, Rem,” he said.

His brother puffed through his nose, “I know. But that fucker’s not gonna hurt you again. Not while I’m here, not ever.”

Roman clutched to Remus’ shirt even tighter. 

It was funny… how much more he began appreciating his brother, after he lost his leg. It seemed like Remus gained one. The more Remus’ unashamed stench filled Roman’s nostrils, the more memories flooded back of Remus running around the living room with three meals a day, albeit mostly made from scraps and often burnt. Cozily joining him on the couch for a movie marathon. 

As if Remus was making up for lost time… Roman knew for a fact he himself had a lot to make up for, anyway.

“Thank you…” Roman murmured, sniffled, then tried to get a hold of himself and pull away a little. He didn’t want to shed any more tears for Vince than needed.

He could walk without him.

Roman sheepishly smiled at his brother through his tears, somehow feeling less ashamed than he thought he’d be. 

“...could you help me stand, please?”

[lost-in-thought-20]

Here is your card for Bad Things Happen Bingo. Happy writing!

Thank you for the Bingo Card @badthingshappenbingo! 

In case anyone wants to send me one of these as a prompt with a Side/ship of your choice, feel free! Disclaimer: it might take me a while to get to them, I might not respond in case I get doubles, or I might use some to write my own fics/stories.

Anyways, yeah, looking forward to seeing how I’ll incorporate these into some angst stories…