entry 10
i didnt want to live, then i did
now i am unsure if living was the best decision i chose to make
a lot of shit happened, you know? a lot, and i have no idea how to deal with all of it. i thought, until like twenty minutes ago, that the thoughts went away, completely. i became friends with some people, i had and still do have stuff to focus on, i began studying properly again. i had a crush some time ago? so another form of distraction. but, the devil works hard, doesnt he. ( pun maybe? who knows ) she left, so one less of a distraction. me being a straight up antisocial is working, too, so, friends wont last as long as they should, could.
idk what im writing about, honestly, i just thought that finally writing some shit would make me feel better, because that certainly doesnt - seeing drug addicts talking about how much they want to die but not really, how much they try even though they dont want to - doesnt help. at all, lol
i seriously want the thoughts to disappear, but how am i supposed to do that
