When Life’s Uncertainty Overwhelms
Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m at a crossroads I never expected. I’ve lost all interest in everything...nothing excites me anymore. I’m calm but at the same time, I’m mad. i get hurt easily, but trying not to react instantly. Maybe life’s trying to teach me something... I don’t know. Since mid-year, I’ve been sick on and off, battling one disease after another. My immune system feels shattered and I’m genuinely worried. I started working out two months ago, not just to distract myself from stressing over everything but also to find my old self—the person I lost so long ago. Sometimes I wonder how life can be so uncertain. When I was a kid, I used to write in my diaries about having a small, peaceful family of my own. I imagined a life of quiet happiness. And now? It feels like life is playing cruel games with us. I get lost in my thoughts regretting decisions I didn’t make, choices I made out of pressure or concern for my family. The guilt hits so deep it feels like it cuts through me, silent screams echoing inside. I try to pray, to find solace in my creator, but I’m not steady I get deceived so easily pulled away by darker thoughts.
I want to seek help. I need a safe space somewhere I can just breathe and just be. But I don’t know when, how or where I’ll find that. Will I ever find peace? Will I ever feel safe in my own life?
Maybe I’m just lost, trying to hold on to hope in the shadows....
