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This is what I sent him when I thought i'd finally let go..

So I was taking a shower right now… and i hear a loud noise so i peak outside the shower and I see a frame that fell… but the weird part is it was hanging on the opposite side of the room of where it landed. I freaked out a little bit… After my shower I picked up the frame and it said " dream. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you imagined".

Last night I was praying. I asked God to give me a sign, if I should tell you how in love i've always been with you, or if i should just live my life and not say anything. This is why when i saw the frame with that writing, I freaked out. God gave me a sign, Chad.

I'm leaving to mexico soon for 5 months, and I can't leave and still be holding on to the feelings I have for you without you even knowing. I don't expect you to share mutual feelings with me, but I know that if I never get this off my chest then I can't go and live out my life in Mexico to the fullest.

You're a great guy, Chad. You have a heart bigger than most peoples and you should be so damn proud of yourself for everything you have accomplished so far in your life. You have SUCH a bright future ahead of you and i bet you already know that. I wish you nothing but happiness and success, and I really hope one day we can be friends because I think we really understood each other like no other.

I want to apologize for all the hard times I gave you. I was mean, evil, selfish, unfair, a terrible listener, and hurting you was the worst part of it. I have no excuse for my actions when we were in a relationship, I just never wanted to lose you; and yet i pushed you so far away.

Thank you for everything you have done for me Chad Madison Gledhill. You have been such a tremendous impact on my life. I have nothing but great things to say about you. I appreciate you, and I appreciate how patient you were with me through everything. You kept me together, and you really made me feel so worth it and special. Thank you for the amazing experiences you gave me. You changed my life and I have never felt so grateful before.

I don't want you to think this is a sad love letter, because it's not… I want you to know that I am so completely happy at this time in my life. I have great friends who love me, a family who takes care of me, and an amazing experience I get to take in Mexico. I hope your life is also going great with everything Chad. You deserve it!

You know maybe I'm so stuck on you because you were my first love, or maybe you're the one. Who knows, right? I'll let fait take over at this point.

I hope it's okay to ask you to please not respond… I can't take another response like the other times i've told you I love you. Now I don't need to hide how I feel anymore. This message was SO hard for me to write, so I hope you can read it.

Good luck with everything Chad :)