Stare into Ariana, Ariana gazes back (Synastry/Love Pattern Analysis)
I’ve decided I only want to speak about women who I feel a personal connection with so I can draw on their darkness and use it to help us understand ourselves. Ariana is someone who’s seventh house ills speak loudly to me because despite not sharing that similarity—I know, very intimately, what serving the self on a platter feels like.
Doesn’t your spine just arch and curve when you feel like you’re worthy of being loved? And when you’re someone’s home through that performance? Their confiding space. It’s sacred in a way. It’s an intimacy in always being needed. That’s the pressure zone for her, I sense.
I chose to shed my life long history of emotional co-dependency. It wasn’t easy and required that I completely forego my safe space of being in the shadow of someone’s needs. Being the wet nurse and perpetual caregiver or savior to people with my energy in an un-reciprocated way allowed pestilence to settle. Being the Mom Friend without being allowed to be the baby or equally nurtured had consequences. Brutal awakenings and partings.
I think it’s easy to call Ariana toxic in an othering way. We may not make the same decisions but she’s magnetic because of what she mirrors in us unconsciously. Why would someone behave that way when it’s probably easier not to? It’s not easy when relationships are how you regulate—and they’ll always mirror your inner world. The more chaotic? Step in front of your vanity and tell us what you see.
And she’s got two planets in that seventh house (of relationships) of hers that’s governed by her moon (her inner world) in her highly elevated tenth, which sees all. (And sees all seeing them). She’s always in a position where the quality with whom she associates and their dynamics will be creative grounds for her identity. There’s undeniable strength in it because it means you’re a master of relationship dynamics, period. But it also means you often won’t have your own tether. You’ll just hook and latch onto whoever’s closest to your unconscious.
When you use Love to regulate your nervous system—you’ll have flashes of merry and fancy like Christmas, then crash when not everything feels like that after. You’re in a pressure container of, ‘everything needs to be this intense or they don’t love me’ or ‘everything needs to feel this addicting or something’s wrong.’ And you set an impossibly high bar that even the most loving, passionate, and reciprocal relationship can’t sustain.
Relationships are a symphony—not a series of constant highs. There’s calm, stillness, and simply sharing space—or needing it away from each other sometimes. There’s shared maintenance, uncomfortable conversations needed for clarity and growth, and devotion through care and protection that’s not just based on rewards. But when it’s good? It’s really good.
It’s about the roots and the days where not a whole lot is going on. When I started growing into my self concept by learning to love and care for myself genuinely—it was rewarding to actually give a damn that much. And it was through that that I realized how long I didn’t care. How I looked (for me), how I felt, my health, and overall well being. But I expected someone to swoop down and care for me in all the ways I didn’t care for myself outside of it.
In manifestation, you get partners who mirror the emotional base line of what you expect. Even if you say you want someone perfect for you specifically—you’ll sabotage or delay it if you don’t feel safe receiving love. Your landscape of how you perceive them will create a mine field of issues and drama because of your pressure points around trust, et cetera. You don’t relax into it. You brace for it. Like Ariana in my opinion, you may even use it to regulate.
This means your nervous system scans for perceived threats and upsets. When babies get upset because they’re around strangers or are in new environments which overwhelm and overstimulate them—your nervous system treats your partner as a threat-in-progress. You’ll overthink more often, fear clear communication or emotional clarity on both their end and yours, and there’s this sense of a lack of settling into the connection. Even if you’re an overgiver or anxiously attached, you may think you’re doing the most when in reality, you’re overcompensating for the lack of effort on their part—and you’re comfortable with this dynamic.
Something I’ve been learning—you also don’t allow for the relationship to have breath. People can’t mess up or miscommunicate. They can’t clarify or unfurl in their vulnerability over time. And this isn’t romanticizing a lack of effort. There has to be care and joyful upkeep. It takes two! But as someone’s showing up for you—there’s inevitably going to be moments of friction, misunderstanding, or when your nervous system preemptively sabotages you. And where people go left? Speaking as my younger self I’ve been healing: we’ll double down on the connection because that reciprocation is our sense of stability.
When you use a relationship to help yourself feel worthy or important, you become vampiric. In addition to Ariana’s natal seventh house planets, she has a 20° Venus..which is in a Scorpio degree.
With that said, it’s not always intentional. It’s usually due to an imbalance learned early on. I know little about her but maybe she learned that she had to be someone’s escape and life boat simultaneously early on. Because she also has Neptune on her Ascendant and directly opposing her Descendant..her providing this savior-like relief is a tendency that’ll present itself easily.
But for her Scorpionic tendencies in relationships—to hold, possess, and consume, that’s baked in and we can see it across her history:
Ariana x Big Sean – Venus-Pluto Opposition (they both have it natally and have it together because they have the same Venus and Pluto)
Ariana x Ricky Alvarez – Venus-Pluto Opposition (her venus on his pluto) // Contextually she will have this with all millennials because Pluto is a generational planet that her natal taurus Venus opposes)
Ariana x Mac Miller – Venus-Pluto Opposition (her venus/his pluto—this orb is the closest in her earlier big celeb relationships w/ venus/pluto), Moon-Mars Square (her moon, his mars), Moon-Descendant Conjunction (so this was the heaviest of the heavy for her even prior to his passing) x Moon-Neptune/Uranus Opposition
Ariana x Pete Davidson – Venus-Pluto Opposition (her venus/his pluto), Sun-Pluto Conjunction (his sun/her pluto), Neptune/Uranus-Ascendant Opposition. This setup also means that Ariana will generationally be at odds with other millennials in relationships if their outer planets are late in Capricorn and Scorpio. These relationships will trigger her the most and will be the most combustive. Between Pete and Dalton (below), Pete had the closer Neptune/Uranus-Asc orb, so it was more influential or ‘dream/illusion weaving’ or escape-enabling in that sense. Slightly.
Ariana x Mikey Foster – There were surprisingly not any of the trends we’ve been seeing in her relationships with him purely on synastry alone w/o a confirmed birth time. It might’ve been more harmonious. However, his Lilith in Cancer is almost directly on her Descendant. So there might’ve been some Mommysboyisms with him towards her. If he has a late Scorpio Moon w/ a confirmed birth time, it would potentially put him in range of having a Moon-Venus and Moon-Pluto harsh-aspect synastry with her. Those would exacerbate any Mommy-issue drama.
Ariana x Dalton Gomez – Venus-Pluto Opposition (her venus/his pluto), Neptune/Uranus-Ascendant Opposition
Ariana x Ethan Slater – Venus-Pluto Opposition (her venus/his pluto—exact orb since Mac Miller!), Lilith-Ascendant/Neptune/Uranus Conjunction (her asc/nep/ura/his lilith) – Since they’re both Cancer placements (conjoining each other!), this is a savior/refuge type of relationship. One of them is the ship or they’re sinking ships together. But because he’s drawn to hyperindependent women (even if it’s performative for the woman), this could be a ‘let me save him and have value’ x a ‘let me just rely on her to outsource my growth’ type of situation. His Lilith is in Capricorn.
From her relationship history on the surface without any additional complexity, there may have been issues (or still be issues) around her over performing and extending, and being addicted to that ‘let me prove myself in love’ Venus-Pluto opposition tendency. As we’re looking at ourselves, it’s important to note that her history is emblematic of an anxiety that we feel to be ‘enough’ for a partner. It reminds me of Taylor and Selena in that sense—both women with Cancer luminaries (sun and/or moon) as well. That deepens the need to give your everything, even if it drowns you.
Instead of criticizing Ariana, I see her. It’s also the reason why I’ve crafted a sacred space to help anxious and intense women like this (and myself) detangle their love patterns.
I’m curious to see how her relationship with Ethan develops.
Do you know of anyone else who’s similar to her we can dive into? 👀
