#lovedesires

[3600daysofmay]

[3600daysofmay]

Will I Ever Be?

I can’t sleep at night… Always pondering will I ever be complete? Feeling whole again or perhaps one of half of a centerpiece to another person’s heart. I fear going to sleep because I don’t want to miss an opportunity to love or be loved. I’m ashamed being the only person in a room full of lovers who quite simply don’t get me. I long to fit in… Not with the crowd but just as an important piece of one’s immediate existence. Daydreaming has become somber with my inability to decipher my shortcomings when it comes to matters of the heart. Oh how I make wishes that the higher conscious hears my silent crying inside. The side of my eyes never revealed define the temptation within my soul to feel wanted and desired. It’s been so long that I have forgotten what it’s like to feel or be touched by the innate spirits of trust, respect and understanding. I walk out mid sea treading waves of sadness weeping for the taking. I hear the joy in others who have surpassed me over the years. They play at high volumes with a frequency so appealing it makes me want to die all over again. I’ve been murdered by rejection as you can see, crushed into millions of pieces continuously cutting myself on the jagged edges I unsuccessfully keep trying to pick up. What I’ve become is no longer foreign to me. There’s no space for me to ask why. How did I get here? Where is the destination which brings my journey to an end? This road of which I descend upon hoping somehow someone falls in love with my intentions. Capable of seeing my beauty in action not by mere words. I can’t bare to marry myself with misery. Let me live amongst the inspired who are wired attentively so when I call out she hears music. Beautiful notes ascending onward as we grow as one. Our roots deeply entangled so the world may not tear us apart. Will I ever be able to finish this work of art knowing the empty vessel that holds life at a standstill will always be called me?