Unquiet Mind
The beilef that living without love is an empty life, is a mistake.
Love limits mind's range, charm blinds, and truth hurts.
But you can get used to the pain. And after getting used, you become indifferent to it.
In this indifference I stopped feeling almost everything. I'm still in progress.
I recovered from the pain, but something dried inside of me.
What has dried wasn't something particularly necessary. It just makes it harder for others around me to understand.
Life has become more lonely than ever.
No human company contemplates my needs. Yet they are the ones who seek me, as though they don't understand this creature that has writen to you, they want to stay close.
And after a while they want to put me under their rules, in a way to trap me in their bond.
I don't allow it, I'm not imprisonable. I'm not fixable.
And then it happens that I push away these companies more often than it was supposed to be.
I should enjoy them more, but in my autonomy, mental and emotional independence, I've become intolerant to their vicissitudes, especially those who try to impose me their ways.
When I realized this fact, I remembered that people support each other by need: whether through exchange of favors, emotional dependency or interest.
And what about me, who feel nothing like that? What remains?
Anything.
The constant emptiness, the silence of the lack of content distances me from the humans I have already met, and directs my quest for something different than, this limiting mass of flesh to which I often refer to as my mind - but which is only the cerebral envelope which houses it - I still do not know what it is.
I just know that it can't be only day-to-day. It can't be only work, college and housework.
My mind is stuck in this envelope, but it seems to be always connected with something, which brings me more questions than answers, stating that there is no definitive answer, but a steady progress that almost everyone ignores, and there are even less ones able to follow in this regard without fanaticism, keeping the focus on pure evolution.
Emptiness is not needed by me. That's why I walk away.
My mind already makes a lot of noise, I need something that resound, not a black hole sucking the light without giving any return.
And that's the way it's going to be ...
