#lu's thoughts

[luna-in-disguise]

Do you think that as Astarion is getting closer to Tav, he gets super over protective and sort of a mother hen, specially with the other companions?

You'll roll up to camp, practically dead on your feet, and start making dinner, only for him to grab you by the shoulders and gently pivot you and lead you towards your tent like: "no. off to bed with you, darling"

Or when Halsin comes to ask for something and Astarion just says from the other side of camp: "DON'T YOU SEE THEY'RE EATING, YOU DRUIDIC OAF? Whatever you need, can surely wait till they're done."

Or when you fall asleep with your head on his shoulder, and Wyll comes to wake you up to keep traveling: "wyll, if you wake them up I'll gut you with your own sword"

Or when Gale gives you a supermarket list of things to bring back for him, Astarion will help you carry some of the load. He'll complain the whole way back to camp, but he'll help you.

Or when you're finally asleep at night and Shadowheart and Lae'zel start fighting (again), and he just pokes his head out of your shared tent like: "can you two deal with your repressed sexual tension SOMEWHERE ELSE??"

And he won't stop until you have decently rested.

He'll enlist the owlbear and scratch's help to stop you from doing things around camp. You know how when an animal falls asleep on you, the universal law is you're stuck like this now? Yeah, that's you. He will actually try to guilt trip you into staying put. You wouldn't be so heartless as to wake them up, would you?

Listen, if you're gonna say yes to any idiot who asks for something and not take care of yourself, someone bloody has to. Let him take care of you and be soft, goddammit!

[bisexualize]

every time i see erza scarlet i get 10000x gayer this is Fact,

[luna-in-disguise]

I think the idea that you fail the persuasion check when astarion drinks your blood for the first time and he drains you, and you NEVER let him leave it down, is quite funny.

Astarion: *having the upper hand during an argument*

You: Yeah, but you killed me

Astarion:

[luna-in-disguise]

Astarion would probably think that winning over a very sweet and gentle Tav would be a piece of cake, but I don't think he'd be prepared for how effing WHOLESOME it would be.

Going back to one of Astarion's scenes at camp...imagine him trying to pull all the stops and hits you with the Little Treat line (if you know, you know) and it going straight over your head and turning the tables on him.

Astarion: Here's my little treat with their cheeks all flushed.

You: *taking his cold hands to place them on your cheeks and giving him a sweet smile* Good thing I have you, then.

Poor man is both melting and absolutely pissed at you because he's trying to seduce you, stop being so wholesome!

One week later, realizing that he just fell for said wholesome idiot:

[luna-in-disguise]

I know most of dadstarion involves babies/toddlers, but imagine Astarion with a teenager that keeps trying to sneak out, only for their father to be there and catch them in the act.

Honestly, he's more disappointed that they get caught and offers to give some pointers.

(for @dhampling, who was requesting dadstarion headcanons)

(Edit: Also, go read the lovely oneshot inspired in this post by @astarryvamp!!)

[luna-in-disguise]

On food and vampirism

I know it probably doesn't work this way, BUT I can't help to imagine a Tav who's a chef and HELLBENT in finding a way to cook for their vampire bf.

Yes, he has probably commented how nice the kitchen smells every time you cook, but he can't taste any of it, since it tastes disgusting to his sanguine palate.

So at 3 AM, the poor elf is just dragged into the kitchen, sat at the table, and presented with the rarest assortment of dishes.

His keen nose picks up the usual smells of broth, meats, spices, and...IS THAT BLOOD?!

Astarion: *confused* Darling, what on earth have you done?

Tav: *Heavily sleep-deprived and pushing the first dish towards him* I'm trying to give vampirism the middle finger. Eat up.

It's not a complete success, but also not a complete failure.

Though the noodles with blood broth doesn't taste like anything, but the blood wine is surprisingly good!

The steamed pork blood and sticky rice coated in peanut powder and coriander could use some work, and the blood pancakes were a rotund no.

But his eyes get comically wide when he gets a taste of the creamy and bittersweet concoction with dark chocolate, blood, milk, raisins, sugar. Gods above, he can actually savor it. It doesn't taste like ash or sewage water in his mouth!

Astarion: How the HELLS did you do it?! *Still going for seconds, though*

Tav: *tired gremlin energy* Blood, sweat, and tears, literally. I said I would one day cook for the love of my life when I met them, AND NOT EVEN THE GODS CAN STOP ME!

Astarion: Stop that >\\\\>

Safe to say, you'll spend the rest of the time adjusting your cuisine and recipes in the hope of finding the next thing he can taste.

(Again, I know it doesn't work like this, but I needed something wholesome after this week)

[luna-in-disguise]

I don't give a damn bout YOUR reputation

Tav: I can fit the whole world in my hand.

Astarion: Nonsense, you can not. It is physically impossible-

Tav: Of course I can, look... *cups Astarion’s face in their hand*

Astarion, blushing: Stop that. I have a reputation to uphold.

[luna-in-disguise]

Imagine you see Astarion, after a long day of adventuring and fighting, struggling to get the remaining blood out of his face and hair.

He has gotten most of it out, but due to not being able to see himself in a mirror, he's unable to get rid of all the blood and whatever was stupid enough to put themselves between your group and your destination.

You approach, quietly extending your hand to ask for the damp cloth he's been using. He's a little skeptic but plays along.

Ever so gently, you clean off the remaining blood, dirt and gore from his face.

Despite the intimacy of the situation, you don't go for his flirtatious lines, simply concentrating on the task at hand. Often engaging in small talk, but mainly patiently wiping clean his pale skin and his silver hair.

One hand under his chin to tilt his head upwards, while the other moves so gently, Astarion is almost unsure if you're actually touching him. It almost feels a little reverent, like you're handling something precious that deserves to be treated with care.

And Gods, your face...your eyes are just as gentle, focused on the task as they scan every inch of his hair and face and a sweet smile at the corner of your mouth leaves him more at ease than any meditation cycle ever could.

You are aware how important outer appearances are for him, so you do not make fun of his looks nor what others would call vain tendencies. You're quite surprised he hasn't swatted your hands away while you clean the delicate silver-like strands.

Despite his vampiric condition, he knows that his heart would be about to burst out of his chest if it could.

He's so fussy about his hair and normally is adverse by others touching it, but this is different. It's not a passionate thrist on a dark alleyway, nor an unforgiving hand pulling at the elf's hair.

It's you, lovely you, showing true concern and care for him. And he has no clue how to feel or react to it.

Once you're done you simply drop the now bloody rag and give him an even bigger smile.

"There." You murmur while moving away a damp curl from his forehead. "As handsome as always."

Gods, he hates that you have managed to disarm him better than he ever could.

He does break the moment with some haughty remark. Please, he looks handsome no matter the occasion, but thank you for stating facts.

But despite how much he tries to deny it, on the inside he's just:

(listen, I like our dear vampire covered in blood as well as any other normal person, but I just couldn't stop thinking about this scenario for weeks))