the call buzzes through the quiet again, sharp and insistent, but she doesn’t let him turn away from her for a second. her fingers trace down his arm, and her voice is a whiny whisper in his ear. she doesn’t need to ask who it is— she only needs to remind him where he’s supposed to be.
warnings— fem! y/n, piv unprotected sex (safe sex is great sex!) descriptions of sex (lowk j smut w/ a side of plot) jesse n y/n being freaked out
wrd count— 965
buzz.. buzz.. jesse's burner phone shook on the wooden nightstand, interrupting the sweet sounds of lovemaking.
balancing a double life isn't exactly easy. this is especially true when the lives you are trying to balance are a picture-perfect boyfriend by day, and a meth dealer by night. walter white didn't pride himself on his understanding, much to jesse's dismay in this very moment.
when he'd gotten your text at the lab, practically begging him to come home, he couldn't say no. hell, he still asks himself how he actually managed to get with a girl like you, and he'd be damned if he lost you because of his little side business. that's how he wound up here, fucking into you relentlessly on what he told you was his "lunch break." (like that was something he and walter agreed on— they didn't.)
but none of that mattered now— all that did was the sounds of skin on skin every time jesse's hips met yours in his own beautiful rhythm. that and the sweet nothings he loves to whisper; "so good baby, so good.." his raspy voice in your ear, so close to the spot he knows you like. it practically forced a moan out of you, and he seemed to enjoy that sound just as much.
buzz.. buzz.. again. the sound of jesse's phone ripped through the room, vibrating frantically on the bedside table. "fuck jesse!" this time not from pleasure, you push at him, flipping him over to straddle him instead and glaring at his phone, still unable to read the name or number from your position. "baby— it' s okay just.." jesse tries to distract you, fucking up into you from his position now.
you can't help but let out a moan, your tits bouncing rhythmically alongside his thrusts while he ruts into you deeply. his hands find home on your hips, and you almost instinctively roll them in tandem with him. your head falls to his chest— partly to hide your face; your mouth was agape in pleasure, and you're fairly certain your hair was strewn and your mascara was imperfect. he loves seeing you like this, fucked out and satisfied all because of him. you were so close, the feeling of him in you so deep, overwhelming you in the most delightful way. "yes, jesse. yes—"
buzz.. buzz.. his phone rings again. still fucking into you, both of you couldn't help but look at the phone. "jesse." you stare into his blue eyes. you don't exactly know about walter and jesse's work arrangements, and the long irregular hours don't go unnoticed, but you couldn't ask— couldn't pry.
jesse isn't a disloyal man. this is something you've learned in the couple of months you've been seeing him, so despite the unusual behaviors, you've never once questioned his loyalty. so the suspicions go unsaid, and the phone call goes unanswered as he fucks into you faster; his voice calming you with an— "i know baby, i know.."
your head comes up now, and you begin riding him more confidently, getting on your feet for a better position on top of him. now it's his turn to gasp, letting out a groan of your name and meeting your hips halfway with his. both of you are close now, and both your moans reflect it. the room was filled with sounds of mutual pleasure, and his rhythm picks up as your head drops to his chest again, your hand finding its way to his hair to tug on it as you climax.
buzz.. buzz.. "fuck!" jesse moans, flipping you over once more and fucking you through your climax, your tightness leading him right into his own. he pulls out of you, rubbing your clit with his left hand and finishing on your stomach with his right. your hand finds it's way to the nightstand, shoving the phone onto the floor entirely while jesse slows his motions, closing your legs and sitting them down on the bed for you. he kisses you quickly, getting up and retrieving a towel to wipe your stomach. jesse always takes care of you— one of his many shining qualities (aside from the meth dealing you don't know about.)
he slips on his boxers before laying back down beside you, pulling you closer to him by your waist, kissing your cheek, then your neck, then your shoulder just to hear your soft giggles. "baby.." you know what this means, and you can't help but feel a little sad. "i have to go." he ripped off the band-aid and you nodded, kissing him softly before letting him up.
you watch him dress, stealing your own oversized shirt (that you surely stole from jesse at some point) and slipping it back on. he grabs his phone (from off the floor where you shoved it) and slips it into his pocket, kissing you one more time. "see you later baby." he winks at you, and you can't help but smile at his mannerisms.
"see you later" grinning out your goodbye, you eventually think to shout after him "bring home pizza!" and he laughs, shutting the door behind him and making a mental note to bring home dinner from both of your favorite spot— buzz.. buzz..
"YO! if i don't answer the first time clearly—" jesse finally answers walt's call, upset from the insistent interruption that is walter white. "where have you been? we have a schedule jesse!" walter scolds, and he can almost make out the sound of his rubber boots squeaking against the lab floor. "i'm on my way yo, some of us have a life and such!" he states into the phone, zipping his jacket up and speed walking to his car, frantically opening the door and putting the keys in the ignition.
Summary: it's been a couple years now, and it naturally turned into a no contact kind of situation. so jesse was easily the last person you expected to show up at your door. and all of a sudden, everything seemed to matter so much less now that you were standing face to face again.
Content tags + warnings: Angst. Exes who have a checkered past. Aged!23/24 reader with regards to canon timeline. Implied drug use/dealing, obvi. But some comfort also sprinkled in.
Note: 4.8k wc. I've been wanting to write out some kind of alternate scenario for S2 EP4, which I actually found a couple fics on ao3 drawing inspiration from the same episode. So if you haven't, you can find em there. Which, I'll admit had me feeling a little bit intimidated to continue writing this out, but regardless, an attempt was made. But seriously, who doesn't feel for Jesse?
UPDATE 2/2/26: pt 2 is here now!
Jesse looked up at the door number of the apartment- hoping and praying in absolute desperation that the same person still lived behind these walls. Yet, at the same time, all his exhausted efforts of phoning his friends after his parents effectively forced him out of his place-- he dreaded even coming here to begin with. He hadn't gone insane, but he was scraping at the bottom of the barrel, that's how dire things were at the moment. With his crate full of the last bits of his haphazardly gathered belongings, he held it close within a tight grip.
Shit. I can't. His fingers flexed, threatening to loosen on the crate, as he started walking back from the way he came.
Within a matter of seconds he came right back, setting his stuff to the ground beside him as he wiped his sweaty hands over his jeans. Raising his hand up to knock on the door-- hesitating for a moment, and then finally gave in to just let his presence be known. His knock was solid, yet timid at the same time as he sighed in defeat.
Luckily, you were sitting on your couch just watching some movie. You heard the knock, feeling a bit shaken for a second since you weren't expecting anyone today.
Picking up the remote, you paused your dvd and walked over to the door, looking through the peephole. To your shock, your hand hovered over the knob as you recognized him instantly, as you wondered why he was even here.
What surprised you more is how he even remembered your apartment. It had been a couple years since he had been here, and it was only once.
You braced yourself as you slipped the chain out of its lock, and you turned the deadbolt to unlock next. Jesse effectively froze as he heard the sound of the lock mechanism, and all of a sudden his rehearsed story dissipated into a blur.
You looked at him, as you took in a breath before speaking, "Jesse? What are you doing here?"
"Ah, hey," he started, your name stumbling out as he tried to maintain eye contact with you, "Look, I can explain. I know I'm like the last person you probably want to even see right now. But shit, I just…"
"Mm." you nodded, looking over him as he could already sense your judgment.
"Please, just give me a few minutes, that's all I ask. Seriously, you have no idea how relieved I am to see you."
You two must have had a wildly different perspective on time, his few minutes sounded like it could easily turn into a whole night-- a week, maybe. Especially, with how your eyes fell on his belongings on the ground.
Silently, you stepped to the side as you opened the door wide enough for Jesse enter the apartment. He leaned down to pick up his stuff, as the look in your eyes grew even more bewildered at what exactly was happening right now.
Then as you were silently arguing with yourself-- you bit your lip, part of it jutting to the side as you looked up aimlessly at the ceiling, wondering why you were even entertaining this.
"Jesse, I'm not exactly looking for a roommate at the moment." you stated, shutting the door after as you watched him set his stuff down to the side.
"No, yeah… I get it. I just need uh, just a couple of days, if that. I just need to get some things sorted out, and I promise-- it'll be like I was never here, and, look-- I can even pay you back. You know I'm good for it." Jesse effectively sputtered out, hoping that you would be willing to help him out, just this once.
He rubbed at the sleeve of his hoodie, looking towards you as he cracked a sheepish smile.
"Jess, seriously." you groaned. "You're lucky I even let you in. But, it was pretty bold that you came here. So I guess I've gotta give you credit for that."
"Thank you, you have no idea how much you have saved me." he breathed a sigh of relief.
He knew he was taking a huge gamble to come see you at all. Especially with the history you had with each other. It was almost guaranteed that most exes would have either slammed the door shut, or opted to completely ignore his pleas.
"Well uh, I guess… this is where I say make yourself at home? Except," you paused and breathed in a deep take, "just, not too much?" you said, flinching as you motioned nervously with a hand.
His eyes looked solemn and nodded silently as he swallowed, thinking about how dry his throat felt. There was absolutely no easy way to express his gratitude, without possibly overstepping boundaries.
You walked back and swung yourself behind the counter of the kitchen, as you immediately went over to your sink to fill a glass of water.
Jesse took a seat on your couch, twiddling his thumbs, looking back and forth at the movements you made in the kitchen, until he felt his eyes fall back to his lap as you came back.
By the time you walked back, you silently offered him the water. Jesse gratefully accepted and took a few gulps as you sighed, scratching your neck absentmindedly.
"I mean, I wasn't expecting any guests tonight honestly. I was just in the middle of a movie, actually. Give me a sec, I'll figure out dinner."
"Yeah. Sure, sounds great." he looked up, and despite the smile he wore… he just looked, without lack of a better word- exhausted. "Just uh, you don't have to do anything for me."
You stood closeby, gathering your thoughts since this was the last thing you expected. It felt like forever passed between the two of you, though in reality it was likely only about thirty seconds later.
"So, uh," Jesse cleared his throat, clasping his hands together. "How have you been?"
It was clear that Jesse was trying to break the ice, and you were a bit apprehensive, and didn't really want to get that deep into things. Not with how you were still trying to wrap your head around why the hell he was even here. Was he out on the streets or something? You were screaming internally at yourself to bring it up organically. You had every right to know-- afterall, you were doing him a huge favor.
"Can't complain… just trying to survive I guess." you said.
You kept it vague, and with the way your arms were crossed you could feel yourself already retreating to not let your guard falter just yet.
More silence, as you had backed up and leaned against the wall besides your couch, looking straight ahead at the wall.
"We uh, we don't have to talk if you don't want. Or, we could. I'll stay out of your hair in the meantime. However long-- if you're willing to let me crash, I just don't want to put you out…"
What's going on? Whatever it was, you could tell this was likely more serious than you originally thought. It just doesn't seem like him at all to have considered asking you for help.
You exhaled, thinking before you replied. "I'm…I'm okay with-- we can talk. It's been a while."
You took a seat on the couch, your body leaning against the farthest away opposite of him.
"Yeah?" he asked, mustering a slight smile.
He was slightly hunched over, palms resting over his knees as he then withdrew, taking a bit more obvious relaxed position to lounge against the couch, tucking his hands into his hoodie's pockets.
He nearly missed it, but he noticed one of the corners of your lips threatening to loosen into a smile. You could feel it between the two of you even now, even with not having seen him in so long, you expected to unleash pent up frustrations, but you also had gotten most of it out during the last days of your relationship, so it seemed almost insignificant.
Jesse had that way of making you feel special-- it might have to do with that natural charm of his. The kind of charm, you absolutely knew had gotten him twisted up in the less savory side of life. Despite everything, he had a presence to him that warmed others up. And you had never been a immune to it, even now, you could feel a change, your body relaxing just a tad.
"Tell me, what has Jesse Pinkman in dire straits…to come to my door, now of all times." your restrained smile, as your eyebrow quirked slightly.
You were definitely interested in what he would try to come up with. You knew the half-truths when you heard em', now would not be any different, and he was likely keen on recognizing you were no dumbass.
Jesse's crooked smile, with that look like he was about to huff a laugh, but then he looked towards you. "Let's just say… I've got myself up to some shit, nothing that I can't bounce back from. I just needed a place to soften the landing… you know," he cleared his throat, his mood seeming to sober a tad. "And…today, was not the first time you came to mind."
"Mm," you nodded. Just shaking your head, and then looked off to the paused screen of the tv. Finally, you eased back into the couch, turning your body to face him, so that you wouldn't have to crane your neck.
"Well, I guess I'm hard to forget." you finally said, laughing softly.
Your eyes, while they seemed conflicted, he didn't sense any harbored anger or disdain swirling within your somewhat solemn stare.
"You… you're different, y'know. I can't place it, like you're… still the same, but you're not." he softly spoke. You weren't sure how you felt, the way he looked at you, as if trying to scrutinize any signs he could pick up on.
"Well, Jess… a lot can happen in a year, and then some." you breathed. Well, that had you feeling a certain way. You furrowed your brows, trying to think up what he could possibly mean. Maybe he missed you.
You rested a hand on your cheek, your elbow resting against the cushion of the couch. "Not to dredge up the past… but you know, a huge reason why things went how they did…" Between us, you wanted to say, but your throat felt abnormally dry. So, you refrained.
Jesse allowed you the room to continue, as he just looked back, that defeated energy remaining glazed across his pretty eyes. You hated how meeting his gaze left you nearly willing to do anything for him. Even back then, you were the one nearly on your knees, strained with lingering regret for having to call it quits.
"You kept everything to yourself. You hardly spoke about what you were…" A pause, and then correction, "are going through."
"Right. Yeah… you know I didn't want to pull you into any of that. You were… always separate from it. That's how much I respected how you felt." he slowly said, pacing his thoughts out carefully, "I thought that if I didn't mention it, if I didn't bring it up… when I was with you, it would be okay. Because you deserve better."
"It's not about what I deserve. I wanted you, Jesse. Even despite everything…" you confessed. It felt like it had been forever since you said something so earnest, but you knew it was true.
You knew how loyal Jesse was, you never even questioned that he had cheated. But the fact that he had a less than savory side to his life, one that he hardly spoke of. A world you knew you would have never willing stepped into. And you could see it when he was using. But it was more than that, he was rather involved.
Yet, he never urged it onto you, seeing as it wasn't something you were interested in. You look around at what it did to others, and it was not something you would willingly become a participant of. But you couldn't bear the thought that Jesse always seemed to be fraying, threatening to fall away at the seams.
"I… I know it's not exactly news that I was a shitty boyfriend…" Jesse started.
You didn't disagree, well… at least not vocally, so you gave him the room to continue.
"I just-- I'm not always good with words. Shit, and I'm not trying to make excuses… but--"
He seemed to be messing with the thread loose at the end of his hoodie, finding it difficult to meet your eyes, until… he finally looked at you. Your expression wearing a lot softer than he was expecting.
He swallowed, not finding the next word or sentence he was hoping to muster up. He just felt at a loss, he didn't want to be pitied like he was some puppy.
Yeah, he had a semblance of pride in certain ways, but here? He just felt a sense of… relation, this muddled peace that… he wasn't even sure he should have. It was a reconnection that maybe he wanted for a long time now. Whether or not there was a real chance you'd give it to him.
"Look. Let's just lay this out… I don't hate you. I could never hate you." These were words you had been rehearsing for a long time.
Well, it at least resembled some of those sentiments, but this was not the norm, and you had a way different plan for the night. Lucky for him especially, because you shot down your friends' last minute request to some gathering, opting to have some time to yourself. Not that it would have been your fault if you had missed him. But something nagged at you that maybe this was meant to happen.
Jesse looked at you, his lips pressed together, almost like he was warring within himself not to sound so wounded.
But he just couldn't believe how warm your presence had felt now. Was it always like this? He fondly remembered the time with you, but at this point he tried to keep it tucked away. If it resurfaced, he'd want to come back and beg to be given another chance. But with how things had continued, he knew it was best if he kept the distance.
"I wouldn't hold it against you, if you… y'know, didn't happen to let me in today. So I'm just, I'm really grateful."
"I kind of knew… I just, even back then. I always had a hard time saying no to you. But, for my sake, I probably shouldn't even be telling you that." a groan escaped you, as you ran a hand across the side of your face.
"Yeah?" he seemed to get a tickle out of that, nodding his head as he fondly thought back at the way you never complained whenever he picked the video game, or insisted on watching a movie, what to eat.
You weren't picky. You just enjoyed being with him.
"But don't get too excited, you being away so long… I think I've built up some resistance now." you gave a wry smile, shrugging.
"Ouch." he said, feigning a slight grimace as he placed a hand across his heart.
You merely smiled. And the way he felt a bit lighter just watching you, the way your eyes crinkled everytime you looked this way. The way your eyes averted to the TV, as if it wasn't still on pause.
But in those quiet moments, your gaze also hovered on his hands, noting the times he seemed to fidget. You were always rather observant to any change in others' demeanors, it was no different when you used to be around Jesse a lot back then.
He might have registered that maybe you felt pity for him, or if there was some lingering affection you might have held. He hadn't realized how much he missed it-- missed how there was a time when he never would have questioned what your eyes said. Hadn't realized how much he'd try blocking it out, to not remind himself how many damn mistakes he had made during the relationship.
You closed your eyes, eyebrows slightly raised as you began to shake your head. It seemed some stray memory came to you. Good, bad? He wanted to know.
Jesse's voice seemed to be slow to start, a slight croak in his tone when he finally piped up. "What is it?"
"You in highschool. It's just vivid for me, remembering how much I always ignored you."
"I do remember that, can't blame you. But at least I found out later… that you, uh," Jesse smiled, giving a bit of dramatic pause to let you fill it out for the both of you.
"I mean, I guess I was curious."
"Something along the line of… he's kind of a cute dumbass, but not my type?"
You rolled your eyes, "Looks like we're straying off topic about what's really important here."
"Right." Jesse sighed.
He looked downright frayed, and you weren't one to push any further. Deep down you could feel it, that urge to touch him. But you hesitated from reaching out to hug him, out of fear he might read it wrong. Maybe, even you, would have misunderstood it.
"But, for now… I've got some pizza I can throw in the oven." you stated suddenly.
You thought that maybe the night would pass by quickly enough. But in the meantime, to not allow yourself seem so affected by his impromptu visit, you did what you did best. Being hospitable was just something that came naturally to you.
Growing up, and throughout your adulthood, there was nothing you hadn't earned without putting in the time and effort, and you didn't wait around for someone to offer handouts. Yet, when someone needed help you modestly offered what you could, no matter how small.
Jesse didn't want you to see him like this, as if he was some failure. As if the things his family thought of him had been rightful assumptions all along-- and even if he felt he may have earned to hear that from you-- you had no idea how grateful he was, not receiving the same treatment.
How relieved he was, to not feel like you were doing any of this because you wanted to chastise him for his decision-making, for how deep in the rut he currently felt he was.
He shouldn't have even entertained the thought of being allowed back in a permanent place in your life.
The night carried on without incident. And for those fleeting moments, he felt some of the immense weight leave him. It certainly could have been the whirlwind he had experienced in the last few weeks, and it would have likely drained any person.
You offered Jesse some extra blankets and a pillow that he could use in the living room. It didn't take long at all for him to drift off.
Although, for you, a portion of your time kept you awake and restless in your bed. Your mind racing with stray thoughts, and everytime you nearly nodded off, something else plagued you what you would do tomorrow.
What you would do next if Jesse left again as soon as he reappeared like this. How insane you felt for thinking you stamped down anything you had felt for him, as if you blocked him out for good.
Deep down, you sensed there was something strong brewing within yourself, but what exactly it was, you couldn't ascertain.
That next morning, you had woken up much earlier than your usual alarms set for your shift. So you got up and freshened up in the bathroom, getting dressed and ready to leave.
As you creaked open the door from the hall, you quietly made your way through the dark of the living room, noticing right away that Jesse was still in a deep sleep. There was no doubt with the way he was snoring.
Once Jesse finally stirred awake, he stretched as he blinked and took in his surroundings. It was an odd feeling, remembering who's doorstep he ended up at eventually. The bright light from the sun easily slipped through the curtains. Covering his face with a groan, he stayed that way for a few more moments until his vision finally adjusted. He noted the way his hoodie and beanie was slung over the top of the couch where he had left it, and he decided he would sit up now.
After he went into the restroom to use the toilet, he quickly reasoned to lower the seat back down after washing up. He then noticed a small lined paper tucked underneath a packaged toothbrush.
He cracked a soft smile as he read it out loud, his morning voice still apparent. "Just in case."
Just the very thought that you left him something to use, in case he hadn't been able to pack it. Well, it made him feel a bit funny. He just stared at it for what seemed like a long minute, his eyes welling up.
As if he didn't deserve any kind of consideration, at least not from you.
After finishing up, Jesse left the bathroom, he noticed how still the place seemed. So as he wandered over by the kitchen, it was then he noted that your shoes left by the front door were missing now. You must have left for the day.
He didn't know when you would be back, and as much as he thought that maybe he should just vanish, and relieve you from his burden. It was the very thought that he also didn't exactly have a way to lock up either.
So, he would wait for you as he gathered himself, hoping he would have the time to figure things out. Though, he figured he didn't want to threaten the neatness of your place, so it might just be better if he kept himself on the couch and watched TV for a couple of hours.
Well, by the time you returned it was well into late afternoon by now. As you entered the key and turned the knob after, you immediately scanned the area in search of where Jesse was. But to your surprise you saw Jesse wiping his hands off on a kitchen towel.
You're blinking, wondering what on earth he was doing. "Hey…" you merely murmured, looking at him curiously.
Jesse seemed a bit cautious himself, "I uh, you didn't really have much… but I just figured it was the least I could do."
"You did the dishes?" you asked, looking at the empty sink and then back at him.
"Yeah, is that alright?" he asked, a sheepish look on his face.
"No, yeah. That's totally fine. I'm just, surprised, I guess."
You dropped off your purse by the counter, as you could feel yourself warming up at the gesture. Jesse was no just fiddling with one of the pockets of his jeans, other hand planted by the counter as you both just seemed to be playing ping pong with your eyes.
Jesse finally cleared his throat and decided he should definitely ease out of silence. "I'm guessing… you had work. How was it?"
You waved your hand off a bit, "You know, just… um," you sighed. "a regular day, nothing exciting."
"Right… right." he nodded, looking back at you carefully. He probably didn't even realize the look on his face read concerned. And you weren't sure if you would address it.
"God, I'm hungry." you finally said. "Did you want some mac and cheese? I've just got boxed, so nothing fancy. I do have some bacon, though…"
"If you want, I'm really good at melting the butter." he offered, raising an eyebrow.
You just looked at him, playfully scoffing at the thought. "Sure, why not. I'm exhausted anyway."
There wasn't much of a fight put up, since you were pretty comfortable that Jesse could at least cook macaroni. So, it gave you the time to dress down into your casual wear, which was just a simple but loose tee and a pair of shorts.
While you and Jesse worked on dinner quietly, it was surprisingly pleasant. You didn't always have guests over, considering how bogged down you got with work.
And once you both got to eating, there seemed to be no pressure to address all this bullshit inbetween. Instead, you figured you would just take it for what it was. Sharing a simple meal was one of those gifts, one that could easily be taken for granted or treasured. You could feel that it may very well had been the latter.
Somehow, you two got onto conversation that turned into laughter. You opened up a little bit more about work, talking about some of the insane situations you had seen during your time there.
You could see the twinkling in Jesse's eyes as he seemed to be genuinely invested in every word you spoke. It felt a bit freeing to feel heard, conversation continued as you sat at the table, and Jesse insisted on washing this round of dishes as well. You let him.
Eventually, you two ended up watching something together on the couch. You stood as far apart as you could, leaning into the arm of the couch on the opposite side. Then once you began yawning once, twice, and three times in what felt like quick succession, Jesse offered that he would let you get to sleep.
You didn't move away just yet, maybe it was the strain of the day making you feel less immobile, less willing to unglue yourself from your seat. Totally didn't have to do with the fact that your feelings for Jesse ever truly left you. Infact, today had become even more apparent the kind of imprints he had left on your heart. Intentionally, or not.
"Hey… thanks for everything." he said, voice a bit hoarse as he watched you, the soft glow of the tv casting its light on you.
"Don't…" you started, you found yourself wanting to say so much more.
But what the hell were you to do now? You couldn't just let him stay. And yet, you didn't want him to see him go so soon either. As if you could hold onto him just a bit longer, as you foolishly thought maybe you could help him fight whatever he was facing now. As long as you didn't become an enabler.
"I'm sorry," he said. He didn't even know for what he was apologizing for now. For the countless reasons you should have hated him for--all the ways he had hurt you from before? Crashing your place now? Fearing that he was just putting you through some kind of emotional turbulence even now?
"Jesse." you whispered. You stared back at him, but the words misted away before your lips could speak them.
"I'm so sorry… you didn't have to answer, you didn't have to let me in. But you did, and you… I'm a fucking hot mess, but you didn't even hesitate. I honestly didn't think you would have, I'm… I just--"
He seemed to be on the verge of something that was threatening to spill over, and the next thing you did even surprised you. Closing the distance, you reached out, grasping onto Jesse, holding him close to your chest.
You could feel the way he was trembling within your arms, the way you could feel your shirt begin to dampen. You ran your hand over his back to soothe him.
Jesse was no longer speaking now. And you felt no less of him, knowing that despite the fact that maybe he couldn't tell you exactly what he was facing with words. Just holding him like this, as he quietly sobbed, you knew said so much more.
Even if you could provide a sort of cathartic presence for him, even if this was fleeting, you couldn't say you felt any regrets letting him in now.
Jesse was resilient in ways you may not actually fathom, but you knew, even now that he was not weak or any less of a person. You just wished you could do more for him. It terrified you that you might not ever see him again.
"It's going to be okay, Jess… I promise, it's going to get better." you murmured gently.
Unfortunately, as all things seem to coincide, things usually seem to get a whole lot worse, before it does get better. But in the very depths of your being, you silently hoped that this wouldn't be the case for Jesse.
Summery: After being detained by police, Lalo got the chance to make a phone call and decided to reach out to you, even though you had no idea he was behind bars.
A/N: I'm still working on Wolfsbane 2, Gus x Reader. It might take some time since I haven't started writing it yet, although I do have planned out how it is supposed to go. Also, another thing, if it wasn't obvious by now, it's an AU where Gus didn't die. I can't say there's going to be a happy ending for the both of them, but still.
MASTERLIST | ⛓️ DIVIDER USE
The police dragged Lalo into the main room. One of the officers shoved a phone toward him.
"You may place one call, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."
"Understandable?" Police officer added.
Lalo rolled his shoulders like the cuffs were nothing more than a mild inconvenience. The officers stood a few feet away, talking quietly among themselves but keeping their eyes on him.
He stepped up to the phone, turning slightly so his face wasn’t fully visible to them. Slowly, he dialed a number from memory.
The phone rang.
Once.
Twice.
Three times.
"Hello?" you said on the other end, confused. You didn’t recognize the number. "Who is this?"
A grin spread across Lalo’s face.
"Ayyy, cariño" he said smoothly, voice warm like nothing in the world was wrong
You froze.
"…Lalo?"
"Of course it’s me" He leaned casually against the wall, lowering his voice. "You sound surprised. You miss me already?" he laughed like it's a joke only for himself.
he said smoothly. "Anway what are you doing, hm?"
You frowned slightly. "I was just at home… why are you calling from a different number?"
Lalo leaned against the wall, lowering his voice just a little.
"Oh, you know. borrowed phone" he said lightly. "Mine’s… unavailable right now, you know how it can be"
One of the officers glanced over. Lalo flashed him an easy smile before turning slightly away again.
"I guess so?.."
In the background, a faint clink of metal sounded when he shifted his hands.
"Wait" you said slowly. "Where are you right now?"
Lalo glanced at the officers again, grin still on his face.
"Just handling some business" he said smoothly. "Nothing you gotta worry your head about"
You accepted that answer, though it still felt a little strange.
"So you called me to ask me what I'm doing? is that why you called" you asked.
"Whats wrong with that? am I not allowed to call you and hear you now, me estás doliendo el corazón" (you're hurting my heart) he said, while trying to crack a joke.
The officer tapped his watch again.
Three minutes.
Lalo’s smile didn’t fade.
"So tell me something" he said softly. "Everything good over there?"
"Yeah… why wouldn’t it be?"
"Just checking."
You laughed quietly. "You’re being weird today."
"Am I?" he said with an amused tone.
"Yeah. calling out of nowhere, asking how I'm doing"
There was a short pause.
Then Lalo spoke again, softer this time. "Humor me."
Lalo shifted the receiver slightly, lowering his voice.
"Listen, mi amor" he said gently. "I might be a little late tonight."
You frowned slightly. "Late? How late?"
He smiled to himself, glancing briefly at the officers nearby, giving dead look, before turning away.
"Ahh, you know how it is. Things come up" he said smoothly. "Don’t wait up for me, okay?"
There was a small pause on the line.
"Just get yourself comfortable, maybe put on one of those shows you like" he continued warmly. "Then go to sleep."
"…You sure everything’s fine?" you asked.
"Of course" Lalo replied instantly, the charm clear in his voice. "I just didn’t want you staying up worrying about me."
Lalo’s smile didn’t falter.
"Sleep well, cariño" he added softly. "I’ll see you very soon, okay?"
"Okay" you added, he smiled to himself before his smile disappeared when phone like clicked.
Lalo slowly lowered the receiver back onto the hook, the plastic settling with a quiet tap.
For a moment he just stood there, staring at the phone.
The officer nearby cleared his throat.
"Call’s over."
Lalo finally turned, that same relaxed smile still resting on his face like nothing in the world had changed.
"Yeah, yeah. I know."
The cuffs shifted when he rolled his shoulders again. Metal scraped softly against metal.
Still annoying, but manageable, his mind wasn’t on the cuffs, it was on the call, on your voice.
On the small pause you made when you asked where he was.
Lalo almost laughed under his breath.
He let the officer guide him away from the phone, walking easily like he was being escorted to dinner instead of a holding cell.
One day had passed.
You had expected him to show up that same night at least call, at least give some kind of explanation for disappearing like that.
But nothing came.
You tried calling the number again, once, twice It didn’t even ring. Just dead silence.
You were in the living room now, folding clothes with the TV humming in the background. Some random show played that you used to watch.
Every now and then, your eyes flicked up to the screen… then back down again.
Your mind kept drifting.
Back to the call, to his voice, to that pause when you asked where he was.
The unexpected knock came late.
For a second, you just stood there in the middle of the room, your heart kicking a little faster for no reason you could fully explain.
Then it came again, two short knocks.
You moved quickly this time, crossing the room and unlocking the door without even thinking twice.
And there he was.
Like nothing was wrong.
That same easy smile spread across his face the second he saw you.
"Missed me?" he said warmly, eyes lighting up.
"Lalo-"
You didn’t even finish before stepping forward and pulling him into a quick hug, he held you tighter than usual.
You pulled away slightly, frowning.
"Where were you?" you asked, searching his face. "You just disappeared. And that call-"
"Ah, ah, ah" he cut in smoothly, lifting a hand like it was nothing. "Too many questions already? I just got here."
His tone was light, teasing but his eyes flicked past you, already scanning the apartment.
He looked back at you instantly, smile returning like a switch flipped.
"Cariño" he said gently, brushing his thumb along your cheek like he was calming you down. "Relax"
Something in your chest loosened automatically, he always did that.
"Everything’s fine" he added, you wanted to ask so many things, but he seemed so calm about it.
Then, casually
"Hey" he leans into you "Do me a favor, yeah?"
You turned, still a little thrown off. "What?"
He glanced around once more, slower this time, more thorough.
Then back at you.
"Pack a bag."
You blinked. "…What?"
"A bag" he repeated, like it was obvious. "Clothes, essentials. Not too much." a small grin tugged at his lips.
"We’re taking a trip."
You stared at him, completely caught off guard.
"A trip?" you echoed. "Right now?"
"Mm" he nodded, already walking further inside, picking up something off the table and setting it back down
"Lalo, it’s late"
"All the better" he said smoothly.
You crossed your arms slightly. "You disappear for a day, call me acting weird, and now you show up and tell me to pack like we’re going on vacation?"
There it was, that look.
He stepped closer.
tilting his head just enough to catch your eyes. “You trust me, don’t you?” he said quietly.
Your stomach flipped, and you knew he knew it.
" …Yeah" you said, softer now.
His smile deepened just a little.
"Good" he murmured.
His hand slid to your arm, gentle but firm enough to guide you slightly toward the bedroom.
"I'll help you out, it's a simple trip we would be back before you know it" you hesitated.
"…Where are we going exacly?"
A small chuckle left him, he leaned in just slightly, voice dropping like he was letting you in on a secret.
"México."
Your brows pulled together. "Mexico? Why?" you paused
He paused as well, before turning back to face you.
"Ayyy" he said softly, almost under his breath, shaking his head a little. "You worry too much."
He stepped closer, hands settling lightly on your arms, grounding you in place.
"It’s just a trip" he continued smoothly. "Hmm? Little time away. Just you and me."
You were still watching him, unsure.
"And…" he added, like it had just occurred to him, "there are some people I want you to meet."
Your expression shifted. "People?"
"Mm" he hummed, relaxed. "My people."
"Family" he clarified, though the word felt… flexible coming from him. "People I trust."
Your brows knit together slightly. "You’ve never mentioned them before."
A soft chuckle left him.
"Yeah, well" he shrugged lightly, "I don’t mention a lot of things."
"You’ll like it there" he continued. "Big place, open air… not like this."
His eyes flicked briefly around the apartment before settling back on you.
"Safer, too." you didn't say anything
"Good food, good company" he went on, voice warm. "You’ll see"
He put his hand on your arm "Just go pack, okay?" you paused for few minutes before nodding making your way to bedroom.
The second you were out of sight, the smile dropped.
He reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone with a smooth, practiced motion. He turned slightly away from the hallway, lowering his voice as he brought it to his ear.
"Sí" he said quietly. "Ya voy en camino… pero escucha."
A pause, his gaze flicked toward the bedroom door, the conversation lasted for a few minutes before he hung up.
that easy smile slipped right back into place.
By the time you stepped out of the bedroom with your bags, he looked exactly how he was relaxed.
He glanced at the bag, then back at you, approving.
"Excelente" he said lightly. "See? That wasn’t so hard."
He reached for your bag before you could protest, taking it from your hand with ease.
Michael Corleone
Vito Corleone
Sonny Corleone
Fredo Corleone
Connie Corleone
WEDNESDAY
BETTER CALL SAUL
Gus Fring
Imagine working at Los pollos Hermanos
Salamanca Family
Imagine being Hector Salamancas Health aid
Imagine saving one of the Salamancas Twins and from then on, they silently protect you
Saul Goodman/Jimmy McGill
Nacho Varga
Imagine Nacho kicking Jo and Amber out of his life after meeting you, and how enamored he is with you
Don Elaudio
Imagine being a Translator for Don Elaudio and your indifference drives him insane
BREAKING BAD
Walter White
Imagine Being Walter Whites Mistress
Jesse Pinkman
Hank Schrader
Skinny Pete/Badger
THE GENTLEMAN
Michael
Raymond
SOPRANOS/ MANY SAINTS OF NEWARK
Johnny Soprano
Tony Soprano
Junior Soprano
Janice Soprano
Meadow Soprano
AJ Soprano
Carmela Soprano
Jackie Jr
Furio Giunte
THE STRAIN
The Master’s Prize
UNDERWORLD
A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms
THE PENGUIN 2024
Oswald Cobb
Sophia Falcone
No one touches my wife
Carmine Falcone
THE BATMAN
Bruce Wayne
Edward Nashton
Jim gordon
Selina Kyle
CASINO
LAW AND ORDER SVU
Dominick Carisi
Casey Novak
Alexandra Cabot
Elliot Stabler
Olivia Benson
John Munch
Fin Tutuola
Donald Cragen
GOODFELLAS
Tommy
Jimmy
Henry
POWER
Ghost
Tommy
Kanan
Jukebox
Tasha
Tariq
STRANGER THINGS
Billy Hargrove
Dating Billy Hargrove Would include
Steve Harrington
Eddie Munson
Johnathan Byers
Robin Buckley
Eleven
Mike Wheeler
Will Byers
Dustin Henderson
Jim Hopper
Joyce Byers
Vecna
SQUID GAME
MONEY HEIST: KOREA/MONEY HEIST
THE GLORY
Ha Do-yeong
White Stones and Black Lies
Imagine being Ha Do-yeong's Wife
Moon Dong-Eun
Imagine being Moon Dong-eun's Husband
VINCENZO
EXTRAORDINARY ATTORNEY WOO
NARCO- SAINTS
ALL OF US ARE DEAD
DISNEY VILLANS
Jafar
Hades
Maleficent
Cruella de vil
Gaston
Ursula
THE PUNISHER/DAREDEVIL
Frank Castle
Imagine being a street kid who helps him one day and Frank Castle's practically adopting you as his daughter
Matt Murdock
Karen Page
Froggy Nelson
Kingpin( Wilson Fisk)
Beginmin Poindexter
EUPHORIA
Rue
Jules
Cassie
Lexi
Maddy
Kat
Nate
Fezco
Ashtray
Alamo Brown
Bishop
MCU
X-MEN
DC
Imagine being a Doctor Working in Arkham Asylum
JOHN WICK
John Wick Masterlist
IT
The Loser Club
Imagine Being a new member of the Losers club
The Bowers Gang
Imagine Henry Bowers being your secret stalker
Being in a relationship with Henry Bowers would inlcude
Pennywise the Dancing Clown
Watcher of the Light
Shadow and Light in Derry Part I Part II Part III
Would you consider writing some yandere Howard Hamlin headcanons?
Generalized (Yandere) Headcanons
Howard Hamlin
WARNINGS: use of the yandere trope, abuse of power dynamics, implied infidelity, toxic dynamics
Short Author's Note: I had to ponder for a bit on this one (not for the three years I was gone, lol, but I was working on this since late last night) because I soak up Howard’s golden boy aura like a sponge, so it’s hard for me to see him in even the slightest negative light. Silly me. Also, sorry if this is a bit OOC. I haven’t given Better Call Saul a sit-down watch in a hot minute, so I’m going mostly off of recent memory and educated assumptions here. Before I begin, I would like to highlight an aspect of Howard’s character that I always found extremely interesting. Bringing it back to Breaking Bad, I am consistently reminded of Skyler White. Much like Skyler, practically everything Howard does and says is “right” by most standards. However, because the main character simply doesn’t like them or sees them as an obstacle, they’re framed as the worst thing to ever grace this ungodly Earth. The same way Skyler is seen as the voice of irrational condemnation rather than what she is (the voice of reason/morality), Jimmy’s jealousy towards Howard’s status, charisma, and the respect he gained from Chuck is painted by him as a flaw in Howard’s character. This has nothing to do with the request, really, more to do with Howard as a whole, but it’s just something I wanted to mention.
Bravo, Vince!
It was an opportunity you never believed would be within reach. Not in this lifetime, not in any. Not even a year ago, you had fought your parents tooth and nail for the opportunity to go to law school rather than take up a meaningless, dime-a-dozen job lined up for you at the family store. It took months, years even, but they relented, and here you stood. The graduating class was small, but the group who managed to pass the bar was even smaller. Somehow, someway, you passed it on your first try. You became an instant enigma from that point forward, the envy of your peers. It was no surprise when you were among the first to be sent an invitation to a success celebration. You looked deeper at the information provided, and the name of the guest speaker was almost enough to make you drop your laptop. You couldn’t have raced to that party any faster than the day it came. When the end of the speech came, and Howard Hamlin went around shaking hands and offering short, polite words, your hands shook as he reached out for one of them. Someone in your position should feel a bit juvenile having a 'hero', but Howard certainly fits the definition of one.
You most certainly made him feel like a hero, eagerly taking his hand and, shaking it with a tad too much vigor, spilled out words of praise and awe. These were words that would embarrass you later, but ones that felt almost natural. You meant every word you said. You followed cases, glued to the screen whenever Howard was involved. He was oddly receptive to this praise, reveling in it even. You almost thought it was a prank or a jest with how quickly he took you into his firm. As if the countless other embarrassments were not enough, you sobbed. He held you, rubbing your back with a hesitant hand and reassuring you that you’d make a great fit for his firm. After all, he could use a fresh perspective. He's seen his fair share of sparkling eyes, for sure, but this was different. It was…
Howard’s attachment should have been obvious in the grand scheme of things. The same way you saw him as this unattainable beacon of light, he saw you as an even brighter pillar. He was insistent that you join his firm, yes, but he was a bit more apprehensive at first. A man of a sound mind and clear convictions, he normally wouldn’t give anyone such a generous offer straight out of law school. He’d wait for them to build up a reputation, and even then, he wouldn’t outright invite them. They’d apply for a job when their resume is nice and fluffy, and one of Howard's many workers would take things from there. You, however, got specialized treatment. He couldn’t exactly figure out why he felt so inclined, and that might have been part of the attachment: the interest. Howard spent hours at his desk, wrapping his head around the situation, as you unpacked your boxes in your office with a determined glint in your eye. You were none the wiser, but your new boss currently had his head in his hands. A small part of him scolded his brain for his premature decision, droning on about how his decision would prove itself to be detrimental, that this would blow up in his face. The larger, more enamoured part refused to believe that. To land this spot, to catch his interest, there had to be something about you.
Toxic positivity might be a good term for what would soon transpire. Howard expected the best of you, as he did with every lawyer working under him. However, it soon became clear that your treatment in this firm was a tad more focused. Hyperfocused, if you will. Much to the annoyance of your peers, the largest, most daunting cases seemed to fall right into your lap. They’re all your responsibility. For a mind so fresh and clean of any real experience, your heart was in your throat, and swallowing it meant death. He could see the tremor in your posture, the shifting nervousness on your face, and he took it upon himself to personally guide you. It was his job as your boss, afterall, to steer you in the right direction. Elongated speeches with the message of “you can do it!” became the new normal, pushing you forward with vigor, then carrying you like a bride. Did Howard like seeing you squirm? No, absolutely not. He’d be a madman to take pleasure in such a thing. He doesn’t like your discomfort, but he did feel an odd tightness in his chest at the sight of you running to him for reassurance, tears building up in your eyes. It was cute, in a strange, guilty way, and he was more than happy to place a hand on your shoulder, tell you just how great you’ve been doing, and send you on your way. He liked seeing you succeed. He liked seeing the jury turn in your favor; he liked it whenever a press release called you a prodigy of the law. They weren’t wrong in calling you that, either. You were all of that and more, and it was he who had you.
He wasn’t quite sure when things began to change, if they ever did at all, and he just didn’t notice it until now. Howard was more than happy to give you special attention; that much was clear. He liked it. He really, really liked it. More than anything else in this building, he liked you. Perhaps it was the isolation that can only be found at the top, or a dry, unfulfilling home, but you were quickly overtaking his brain. It felt so juvenile, though it felt “right” just as much. He felt a bit evil in this regard, but he began to realize exactly what he was to you. A boss. A boss with inherent power, inherent influence. It would be so easy to take even more of your time. He wasn’t sure why, but even just looking at you pleases him. Even more pleasing was your voice, being, and presence. He was practically twiddling his thumbs as he asked you, as if he were asking for something outwardly scandalous. Howard wanted to take you out to dinner, a business dinner (he promises, swearing to you he has no ulterior motives), to discuss recent happenings. You pushed back a bit at first, as it sounded almost otherworldly to sit at the same dinner table as him, let alone have him pay, but he pushed forward, until you found yourself succumbing to his request.
Dinner was nice, you supposed. He was a gentleman, with every letter of that word accounted for. You couldn’t help but notice how he looked at you, though. If you squinted, you could even make out the slightest red tint blossoming on his face. You could’ve sworn you saw him make an effort to hide his wedding band as well, but you couldn’t be sure, could you? You quickly shook that idea away. No way, no how. But…you had to admit…
Howard’s behaviors seemed to rapidly escalate. Cases came to you in droves before, but they came in floods now. This, inevitably, strengthened the glue that held Howard to your side. He couldn’t have his best asset slacking off, right? That’s what this is. That’s what this is about. That’s exactly what the cameras placed inside your office are about, as well. He’s not a pervert or a stalker. No, God no. Those are the kinds of people that he absolutely detests. That’s not him. No, these are just assurances. He’s monitoring you, keeping close watch. Nothing more, and certainly nothing less. By this point, his office acts as your second one, especially when he feels the need to shield you from the glares of your coworkers. Of course you can use his office to store some paperwork. It’s no wonder your own cabinets are filled with how hard you work. He’s been zoning out a bit whenever he speaks to you, as awful as he feels for that. It’s hard to even think about you without slowly drifting away to the thought of whisking you away, marrying you, settling you down in his bed with his last name. If he had his way, you’d never leave the house, let alone have to work. God, work. What is someone like you doing here? Your brain is unmatched, that much is for sure, but you’re straining it. But you’re such a hard worker. Your brain is a machine, one that he’s not sure how he’s been able to live without all this time. He could draw your face by pure memory at this point, and he can’t help but wonder if the two of you ever—
You might as well have snapped in his face, snapped him the hell out of…whatever this was, but you didn’t dare. He always liked that about you. You expected respect, sure, but you were more than happy to give it. You just tilted your head and asked if he was alright. He huffs out a quick apology. He hasn’t been sleeping well. Truth be told, he really hasn’t been. It’s been hard to sleep recently. He smiles a bit as this thought crosses his mind, but it’s all your fault. It’s your fault he’s like this. Surely, shouldn’t you be taking responsibility?
Jimmy was low, as much as Howard didn’t want to admit it at first. He always was low, always went low. It didn’t matter to him, as long as he went a bit lower than he did before. This is precisely why he wasn’t at all shocked when, continuing his campaign against him, Jimmy slithered his way towards you. It was inevitable, really. A bright eyed, young lawyer such as yourself, free of any and all corruption. You, who couldn’t see a devil in a demon, let alone a con artist in Saul Goodman; you, who looked up to Howard as if he held up the sun itself. Howard wasn’t entirely sure how it happened, only that it did. Knowing Jimmy, he can’t even imagine what tales he had to spin to turn you. Regardless of what it was, the outcome was far more concerning. Two weeks. Two weeks until you’re gone. You’re resigning.
To call him desperate would be an understatement. He couldn’t say for sure, but he knew this had to be Jimmy’s doing. It had to be, there was no other way. You were loyal. You loved him, yes? At least the idea of him, and he could work with that. He could. He never thought of himself as the begging type, but he might as well have gotten down on his knees for you. Had you asked, he would have done anything to get you to stay with him. He had asked what you were told, and by whom, but you wouldn’t budge. Loyal to a fault, he thinks bitterly. This time, to the wrong people. The right person? That’s him. It will always be him, and he will make sure of that. Howard is never a man of violence. That goes against practically every moral he has. He would never lay a hand on you, either, but he is fully willing to grab your wrist as he once again asks you to reconsider. He only wants to talk to you about your decision. Why are you making this so difficult? He’s never had someone like you work for him before. He won’t find another one. Even if he searched for the rest of his days, another you just wouldn’t come up.
If you find it in you to confront him on your growing suspicions, or even cite those as the reason for your departure, he will pause, inhale deeply, and then let out a sigh. “I’ve grown…fond of you, I will admit.” He says this sheepishly, not able to meet your gaze. His hand remains on your wrist, though his grip lightens a tad. With more confidence, he proclaims that whatever it is you want, he’d do it, so long as you stay.
“Stay?”
“Yes.”
“…stay?”
“…with me.”
Howard is extremely protective, to an almost paranoid degree. As stated before, he will likely never turn to violence (even under dire circumstances), though he is more than willing to isolate you. It’s the most likely scenario, to be frank.
He is prone to idolization, seeing you almost as an image. An ideal; an angel of sorts.
He can, and will, be pushy with physical affection, and can come off as rather suffocating
Howard absolutely hates the people you surround yourself with. Not even because they’re a bad influence or because they’re bad people altogether, which confuses and bothers him. He just does not like their presence around you. He doesn’t like anyone else taking up your effort, your time
His preference towards you, as I mentioned before, certainly does not go unnoticed, and so you become secretly disliked among your immediate peers. This works well in his favor, and he is more than happy to be that shoulder to cry on. Why sit and sulk over others not appreciating you? He appreciates you. He lov—
