pgr shenanigans, pt 6
(Exekial is at a bar playing a card game with Vanessa, Harley Jo, and Simon)
Exekial, putting down a card: Would you guys be there for me if I was going through something?
Vanessa, without missing a beat: No.
Harley Jo, throwing down a card: Nope.
Vanessa: Absolutely not.
(Simon starts cracking up. Unfazed, Vanessa adjusts her grip on her cards)
Vanessa: I hope it sucks, whatever you're going through.
Simon, wheezing: "I hope it sucks"?
Harley Jo: I hope it emotionally scars you for the rest of your life.
Exekial: Wowwwwwwww.
Simon, drawing a card from the deck: I hope you reach out to me so I can ignore you.
(Simon and Harley Jo can't stop laughing. Even Vanessa cracks a smile)
Harley Jo, cheekily as he draws another card: Can't wait to go to your funeral knowing that I could've changed the outcome.
(The table roars with laughter. Exekial puts down his cards with fond exasperation)
Exekial: Thanks guys.
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(In a conference room with a bunch of Constructs and a couple commandants)
Exekial: Okay, there's something I want to understand here.
Exekial: Why am I listed as the commandant on most of your guys' emergency contact forms?
Noctis: You got a problem with that?
Exekial: Uh, yeah, actually. If Lucia, Lee, and Liv do it, I get it cuz I'm their commandant. Even the guys from Strike Hawk, if they need a human commandant. But why the rest of you?
Vera: I mean you're basically our commandant now.
Exekial: Your commandant is Murray, who as far as I'm aware is not incapacitated by any means.
Vera: Yeah but he usually disappears. I would trust him about as far as No. 21 can throw him.
No. 21: I can't throw far.
Selena: (raises hand) Ayla and I weren't allowed to put down "Not Applicable" on our forms.
Exekial: You could've just put down Allen, though.
Ayla: (shrugs) We tried, they didn't accept it. Said that it had to be an actual commandant.
Bianca: I don't usually work with commandants. You... are one of the few commandants I can trust.
Karenina: What, you don't enjoy our company? Hmph!
Teddy: Geez, what a heartbreaker you are, Exekial.
Exekial: ... do you guys realize how many notifications I get everyday because of this?
Vanessa: So? Deal with it like the Chief you are.
Exekial: Oh, I'm so glad you're here, Vanessa, because I want you to explain why you put me down as Bambinata's second contact.
Vanessa: (shrugs) You helped her out when I was unable to. While I hate your guts, I am not one to overlook how useful you are.
Exekial: "Useful." Thanks. Glad you put me in such high regard.
Simon: (sheepishly) To be honest, Harely Jo and I also did the same thing. We figured there wouldn't be anyone more qualified, so...
Exekial: The problem now is that apparently everyone here thinks there isn't anyone more qualified than me!
Vera: Geez, pipe down, will ya? If it really bothers you so much, we'll just change our contact info. No need to get all fussy about this.
Noctis: Honestly, I'd prefer it if you were there instead of Murray, but whatever I guess.
Lee: And what's wrong with my brother?
Vera: A lot of things, really. There'd have to be something wrong with him to be placed our commandant.
Exekial: (claps hands together, interrupting their brewing fight) Alright, I'm making an administrative decision right now. (Points to Bianca, Ayla, and Selena) I'll let you guys keep me on because clearly you guys need someone to put down.
Teddy: Karenina and I don't have anyone to put down either.
Exekial: Fine, you guys as well. (Turns to stare at Cerberus, Dark Aries, Egret, and Woodcock) But for the rest of you, put someone else as your contact, secondary or otherwise.
Vanessa: What, the great Chief can't handle it all on his own?
Exekial: Just the other day, I was running around every other hour because for some reason everyone decided to schedule an appointment on the same day!
Liv: Our commandant needs to rest. He can't be responsible for everyone here.
Lucia: (firmly) No matter how willing he is to help, he's still the Gray Raven's commandant first and foremost. As such, his priority should be focused on the Gray Ravens' mission.
Vera: Don't tell me you're so jealous that you won't share him?
Chrome: (raises hand as Lee and Vera begin bickering) And just for the record, Strike Hawk is allowed to put you down in the event we need a Mind Beacon for stabilization?
Exekial: Yeah that's fine. Everyone's dismissed. Goodbye.
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(In a conference room with Nikola, Hassen, and Gray Raven)
Nikola: Why is it that when something happens, it is always you four?
Exekial: Believe me, Commander, I've been asking myself the same question for years.
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Ishmael: And you? What is your wish?
Exekial: My wish? To reclaim Earth alongside all those who are with me, to see them seize the future that belongs to us.
Kurono: You are extremely selfish, d i e.
Exekial & Ishmael:
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Exekial: (Wakes up with a start)
Lucia:
Lee:
Liv:
Literally every Construct ever:
Exekial:
Exekial: Did I die again?
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Lucia: Commandant, I have something to ask, but... you have to promise not to freak out.
Exekial: (Scrolls through his terminal, glancing at her) Of course, Lucia. What is it?
Lucia, tapping her fingers together and glancing away: Do you... like me?
Exekial:
Lucia, blushing: I mean... do you... have romantic feelings for me?
Exekial: (Puts down terminal) What do you mean, "do I like you"?
Exekial:
Exekial: Love?
Lucia: Mhm?
Exekial: We've been dating FOR TWO YEARS--
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Exekial: I have to ask, why do you like me anyways?
Literally every Construct ever: Because... you're the only one who's been kind to us!
Exekial: ??????
Exekial: Raise your standards??????