she was spending yet another night alone in lucien’s bedchambers. while she loved the man, anya wished that he would spend less time at the tavern and more time with her and ghost. after cleaning and feeding their dog, she’d lost track of time. it wasn’t until the familiar opening of the door that the nurse sprung out of bed eagerly. her arms immediately wrap themsevles around the man, placing a quick kiss on his lips. but she already knows. “did you visit the tavern again ??”
WHO: lucien dyer & anya cassel. ( @luciendyer )
WHERE: lucien’s bedchambers.
WHAT: anya pleads for lucien not to go to battle. lucien admits his true feelings. lucien learns of pyros’ feelings for anya. somewhat fluff. angst. my heart breaking into a million pieces. nbd.
anya: as the battle was quickly approaching, there was a tightness in the pit of her stomach that made her uneasy. she was worried about many people who she knew would fight in battle: nicolette, derrek, pyros and lucien, definitely. it wasn't that she thought they couldn't take care of themselves, she had no doubts about their abilities in combat. but anything could happen. as she approached his door, she knocked lightly. "lucien ?" she called through the door, knocking a little softer.
lucien: the knock didn’t wake him; he hadn’t been able to sleep in the first place. stupid not to sleep before battle, but lucien had a habit of doing stupid things. the fact that it wasn’t so out of the ordinary did much to soothe him. he got up and crossed to the door. “hello, anya.” he smiled. “good to see you. are you well ?” the thought that she might be coming to him with a problem crossed his mind, and he frowned. “is everything all right ?”
anya: as lucien opens the door, she momentarily forgets her worries and a bright smile forms on her lips. but anya is quick to regain her angry resolve. with a hand on his chest, she pushes him slightly, forcing herself into his bed chambers. "no, lucien, everything is far from alright." she waited some for him to close the door. "you cannot go to battle." the nurse pouts her lips in distraught before plopping on his bed.
lucien: he lets himself be pushed back into the room, concern now plain on his face. “it isn’t ?” he shuts the door behind them and turns to her. “what ? i-- i can’t just not go into battle, anya. i am a knight. i have a duty to ironhaven.” then confusion catches up with him. “why can’t i, anyway ?”
anya: "you are a knight, yes. but someone might seriously hurt you," she points out, her pout gradually growing. her arms crossed over her chest and she did her best to avoid lucien's eyes. she didn't want him to see how much fear she had in her eyes. there was no promise of tomorrow that hung in the air, not this time. her anger flares up again at that fact, to which she throws her fear to the wind, standing toe to toe with the knight. "you are not to go out there tomorrow !"
lucien: “that’s part of being a knight. i can’t cower in corners just because-- because you think i might get hurt. the kingdom matters more than me, anya; can’t you see that ?” he runs a hand through his hair in a show of whatever frantic emotion lies between exasperation and sympathy. “i will go. neither you nor i can do anything about it. it is the way things must be. i’m-- i’m sorry that you’re worried. the last thing i want is to worry you, anya.”
anya: she knows he's right. she has no right to say what he can and can't do. but her heart begs for him to stay where its safe, where she is. "you can't !" she cried, despite his protests, her hands grabbed his quickly, hoping that her small touch could convince him to stay. "just stay here, with me ? we shan't even leave this room tomorrow. i ask this of you, lucien. do me this one favor ?"
lucien: he wishes desperately for the ability to give her what she’s asking of him. it is with a broken expression that he looks down at her, holding her hands in his, and shakes his head. “i would if i could, anya. i love you. you must know that.” he fights to explain how he feels. “but... to fight is my purpose. it’s all i have. and this is a worthy cause; the men we’re up against are villains. you’ve seen the evils they’re capable of firsthand. you’ve suffered because of them. if i cower in a corner instead of fight tomorrow...” if he does, he will be unforgivable, in his eyes and, he is sure, in the eyes of others, and unworthy of anything.
anya: her hand immediately drops his at his confession. of course, she'd heard him say it before. ( or rather "me too" during her time with the other ironhaven residents. ) but now, as she stood not just mere inches from him, it felt all too real. she was alone, he was speaking to no one else but her. was there truth behind his words ? "you love me ?" she blinks in confusion, not sure how to take it. anya shakes her head, trying to regather herself so she could listen to his argument. "i want not for death to take you, lucien. i am scared."
lucien: he smiles sadly. “i’m afraid so. sorry to spring it on you like this -- i don’t know why i...” he shrugs. “if you do not want me dead, then i will do my best not to die,” he tells her, and prays that it is enough, because it is all he has. “i would hate to disappoint you.” he can’t promise her anything, of course, doesn’t dare say the words ‘i promise’. ironhaven will come first, must come first. still, he hates the thought of leaving her alone. not that she would be alone, he reminds himself. it calms him. she has nico, and derrek, and, he’s sure, a multitude of other people who care for her, because it would be difficult not to love anya cassel. “you shouldn’t be scared for me anyway,” he tells her softly. “don’t worry for soldiers; you’ll drive yourself mad. it’s not worth it.”
anya: the words seemed to have escape her as he elaborates. she feels queasy, almost as if she might faint at this new information. what is she to do? she spaces off, wondering how it had come to this. how had he developed such feelings for her in such a time ? "first pyros, now you.." she mumbles to herself but the proximity between the two is close enough for lucien to hear her as well. she puckers her lips, pondering on what her next actions should be. she cannot deny the feelings she holds for lucien ( or for pyros, for that matter. ) but the fear of tomorrow has her silent. "i will always worry for you, lucien. always. -- if i hear that you have died tomorrow..." her voice trails off as her vision blurs with tears. she quickly wipes them away before they can fall. "you will not die tomorrow, lucien dyer. d'you hear me ?"
lucien: pyros? lucien hears the name and forgets everything, because why would pyros’ name be on her lips ? he stares at her, confused, a little bit horrified, and says: “what do you mean, first pyros ? what-- i didn’t even know you knew that bloody-- he’s a terrible person, anya.” he’s seized by fear, suddenly, and it is this fear that has him staring at her face, expression one of shock. “did he hurt you ? i’ll kill him if he did.”
anya: her head tilts to the side, her own confusion reflecting his. how did lucien know of pyros ? "well," she started, doing her best to remember the details. but is quickly jumping to the duke's defense at lucien's accusations. "no, no, lu ! of course not, he would never do such a thing." anya hums for some seconds, regathering her thoughts of that night. "i am unsure if it was a dream or.. if it was real. --i drank far too much ale that night. he found me and took me back to his room.." as she trailed off, she realized how it sounded. "we did nothing ! he just-- he admitted to caring very deeply for me. though i am sure ‘twas just a dream. how do you know of him ?"
lucien: lucien is speechless. he looks pointedly at a wall for what feels like an eternity before finally attempting speech. “you can’t be-- anya, you can’t be sure he wouldn’t hurt you. that is so... so naive. and you were with him while you were drunk ? gods. you’re sure he didn’t hurt you ? completely sure ? and he told you he cared for you ? i don’t believe this. i really don’t.” he’s angry, not at anya, of course, never at anya, but at pyros. he curls his hands into fists but does not move from where he stands. “i know he is a terrible man. you should never have so much as glanced at him.”
anya: she flinches back at his harangue. anya never knew that lucien was capable of holding such hatred for someone. she makes sure to distance herself from him, waiting until his anger was out. though she felt a bit of anger herself for the lies lucien was spitting. sure, pyros wasn't deemed the best man in all the land but surely he would never lay a hand on anya ? "it was but a dream, lucien !" or perhaps a drunken memory that she remembers as a blur. her own tiny fists curl at her side before taking another step closer to him. "he is not a bad man ! he is kind to me. you should not say such awful things of him." the nurse pounds a tiny fist on his chest, hoping it will cause him some pain. "why are you like this ? what has he ever done to you ??"
lucien: he’d like very much to rant against pyros, and is gearing up to do just that when anya’s close proximity stills him. her fist hits his chest, and he realizes that he’s let his anger get the best of him. he needs to leave. needs to blow off some steam. perhaps he’ll find a drink; dulling his mind a bit will help. or maybe he’ll simply wander for a while. he certainly isn’t sleeping now, not after this. “please. i don’t trust him, anya. especially not around you.” for the second time that night, he runs his hand through his hair, agitated. “i have to go. i’m sorry.”
anya: the animosity between them is great, something anya would not have expected if you were to ask her about her relationship with lucien several days prior. she is stunned to see that lucien is parting in such a hurry, without so much as trying to fix their argument. she knows not of where he is off to or with whom instead, she calls it a night and settles into his bed. pulling the covers over her, she lets out a muffled scream of frustration into the pillow. when did her life become so difficult ?
HEADCANON: when they were in training together, anya had a small crush on the boy. ( despite being involved with derrek at the time. ) as she suffered and failed at training and while their friendship was brief, his wanting to help her produced a crush.
11. If you had to pick three people to go on a road trip with, who would they be?
she blinks at the question, her immediate thoughts going to lucien. “ lucien. ” but then she thinks of the duke who saved her during the disaster of the dinner. “ pyros, too. but that might not ... end up good for the general safety of everyone. ” then her thoughts drift to nicolette, derrek, lucrezia, avery, even. but instead, she settles with, “ kane or the dog would be my last choice. such a difficult question... ” @luciendyer @heopyros @healkane @ the dog
WHAT: anya tends to the two men she cares the most. while simultaneously crying and confessing feelings. & tbh, a m e s s.
pyros: pyros groaned loudly in pain as he lied, stomach down, on the stretcher. he tried to bite down on his lip to silence himself, but soon he registered the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. finally, unable to take the pain anymore, pyros exploded. " take it out ! " he shouted into the air, " take it out for fuck's sake ! " pyros did not care if he bled out onto the infirmary floor, he wanted the wretched arrow of of his back. the thing hurt like a righteous bitch.
lucien: he wakes to pain, which isn’t his biggest complaint -- that would be pyros. bloody pyros, who seems to have an arrow sticking out of his back. lucien blinked blearily. he wondered if his ribs might be broken, or cracked -- otherwise his wound would only sting, wouldn’t it? he’s no healer; he can’t know. “shut up,” he croaks, hopefully loud enough for pyros to hear.
anya: at word that the victims of the battle were being rushed to the infirmary, anya is sprinting back to the castle ( after a successful theft of their ships ). her pack is bouncing against her hip as she makes an entrance, panting heavily. pyros' yelling grabs her attention but it isn't long until she hears the croak of a familiar man laying in the bed next to him. if it were up to her, the nurse would have walked out that instant. instead, she makes her way over to the two, her heart breaking at seeing them both in such a state. "i don't-- who do i ??" she knows now of who to tend to first but as she looks between them before deciding the world might be peaceful again once pyros shuts up. with a soft count under her breath, she yanks the arrow from his back.
pyros: " holy everloving fuck ! " pyros all but screams. his breathing is heavy and laboured, but sure enough, he does quiet down. for a moment, he stares at the headboard, wishing he had just died. after he collected himself, pyros focused his limited injury on looking at the nurse who had just assisted him. " anya, " he breathed. he considered her for a moment, confirming she wasn't hurt. " you're alright. "
lucien: lucien would like a drink. he would like several drinks. anything to dull the pain in his side, any excuse to get away from the shrieking pyros. pyros quiets some, and lucien sighs with relief. it’s a mistake; sighing turns out to be far from pleasant, and he swears under his breath. he heard anya’s voice, and then he hears pyros speak her name. the bastard’s words and the way he speaks them don’t match up with what lucien knows of him. they tell lucien, too, that anya is alright. for this, he is thankful. but what of the others? “anya,” he asks. “have you seen-- nico? and derrek?”
anya: it pains her to see them both in such a state. "sorry, sorry, i am sorry," she murmurs over and over after pulling out the arrow. placing it down on the nightstand, she realizes-- after a glance between the two-- that it is far too close and pushes it off the edge. there's a blush that forms on the apples of her cheeks as pyros scrutinizes her for any injuries. "we were in no immediate danger on the shore." she turns towards lucien, ointment in hand before bending down and beginning to apply it to his torso. the gash was deep and long, she manages to focus on it as she swabs the ointment on. "no, they have yet to come in." there's a sniffle coming from her, thinking about the two men she cared for the most, laying injured before hand. but no tears are evident as of yet. "forgive me, i should have-- perhaps i could have prevented both of your injuries, had i been there."
pyros: as the arrow is finally out, pyros relaxes -- dropping his head forward. " you can't blame yourself, anya. " he says as reassuringly as pyros possibly can ( it's really not much ). pyros follows her with his eyes as she walks over to the next bed. he realizes, belatedly, that his neighbour is lucien. he suppresses the pained groan because, yes, being around lucien physically pains him. his ears perk at their conversation. he didn't realize they knew each other. pyros lifts his head again to address anya, " if you had been there, i'd be far more concerned over your wellbeing than the actual battle at hand. "
lucien: he fights the urge to wince as she applies ointment to his wound. he is glad she is the one who found him, and not some other, harsher, healer. lucien does not want to agree with pyros. he doesn’t want to leave anya thinking such things either. eventually the latter wins out. “as would i. you cannot blame yourself for things you would not have been able to stop.” the injury is lucien’s fault, not hers.
anya: her head whips around at the sound of pyros' voice and her heart beat intensifies. when lucien adds in-- agreeing with the duke-- her heart completely melts. after she finished applying the ointment on lucien, she quickly switched over, blinking back her tears before dabbing the same serum on pyros' back. "lucien, if i had not-- if we had not argued last night about..." but her sentence trailed as she remembered what they were speaking of, or rather /whom/. "pyros, how do you know of lucien ?"
pyros: pyros had never thought he lived to see the day in which lucien agreed with him. perhaps the arrow had been poisoned. everything he had just witnessed was a hallucination. is it uncouth of him to snort ? nonetheless, pyros does anyway. " the question at hand is how lucien knows me. "
lucien: lucien opens his eyes for the express purpose of glaring at pyros. “we’ve known one another a while. and we’ve always gotten along /so/ well. i do believe we’ll be friends forever.” he drops the sarcasm; it is replaced with desperation. “anya. have you seen nico and derrek?”
anya: she bites the inside of her cheek, stopping her treatment on pyros, resting her arms across the uninjured part of his back. "no, i already said they have yet to come in," she sighs again, rubbing her eyes tiredly from all the patients she treated before. anya gets up once more, going over to lucien's side before she began to stitch him up. "are you still upset with me about pyros ?" she asks gently. "i told you, i am sure 'twas just a dream. ask him."
pyros: pyros' ears perk as he hears his name. he tries to strain his ears to listen to the words exchanged but is futile. he manages to catch a few words. " ask me what ? " he says, his brows furrowing.
lucien: he relaxes. “thank you, anya. i’m sorry. i didn’t hear.” he frowns. “i’ll take your word for it,” he says. now is not the time to argue. “though you should trust your memories, anya; i don’t think ale makes you dream such things.” he would know. “and i am not asking /him/ anything.” he raises his voice, so that pyros can catch the words: “i’m not asking you anything.”
anya: she rolls her eyes ( an act that anya is not accustomed to ) before turning to pyros. "that night.. was it-- was it a dream ? did we share a kiss ??" anya paused her stitching on lucien to move over to pyros, her hand resting against his own. "do you care about me more than a friend should ?"
pyros: he swears his heart stops within his chest. fuck. if he had known this is what she been talking about he wouldn't have pressed the issue. instead of telling the truth, admitting that yes, pyros cared for anya more than he'd like to say, pyros scoffed. " what night are you on about ? " there's not a single crack in his façade. " perhaps you need to be admitted to a patient bed, too. "
lucien: lucien is conflicted. on the one hand, he feels relief. on the other, he misses his strength. if he still had it, had not been injured in the most ridiculous of ways, he would be able to stand, and to take pyros to task for being so rude to anya. “you remember, pyros, me telling you to shut up? do that now, please.”
anya: she's appalled by pyros' response. she knew that there was a chance she had dreamt that night up but now that the truth was out there, she felt even more foolish for believing it to be true. not to mention, the tiny jab the duke takes at the nurse. her emotions from the battle were already high combined with the stress of her patients and anya is weeping. she does her best to wipe her tears with her sleeves, grabbing her sewing kit as she continued stitching up lucien in nothing but silence except the occasional sniffle.
pyros: pyros remembers the promise he made to himself: if she remembers, then they can figure it out. if she doesn’t, then… well, then, they’re not fated to be. he's just broken it. she had remembered, and yet, pyros had decided to ignore it. there's an apology on his tongue but his pride refused to say it. his right hand reached for his left -- the need to fiddle with his rings strong. he had forgotten he had only worn one that day. it was an awful day to wear it to the infirmary but he had hoped it would bring him something of semblance to good luck. at least he hadn't died.
lucien: stitches are also far from pleasant, but not so bad that they distract him from the woman administering them. “anya.” he wants to wipe away her tears; wants her to have had no reason to cry in the first place; wants pyros gone. “i’m sorry,” he says, and lets it mean everything it needs to.
anya: she nods, offering lucien a sad, graceful smile. wiping her tears, she ties off the strings so that it finishes his stitches. "s'alright," she mumbles, she reluctantly moves over to pyros' side once more, avoiding his face. his piercing from the arrow is small and not as crucial as lucien's but anya decides to stitch it up anyway. with a needle, she begins to work on pyros, attempting to ignore the tears that blur her vision.
pyros: pyros adjusts himself so that his face is no long in his pillow. he chooses the wrong side and is faced with lucien. he is almost jealous of the other man. he wishes he could be so openly fond on anya. the desire makes his stomach churn. the stitches nearly compare to that pain. he hates feelings. he hate girls. he he hates anya. he hates lucien.
lucien: “no. it isn’t.” it so plainly isn’t alright. lucien lies back, relieved, when she’s finished stitching him up. he watches her shift her attention to pyros’, and is hesitant to distract her from her work, so he stares at the ceiling instead, keeping his breaths as shallow as he can to avoid as much feeling in his chest as possible.
“i suppose i’d WED lucien. i have no doubts he would make a brilliant husband. ( he would bring me plenty of sweets. ) BED nicolette because... she is by far the prettiest woman i have ever seen. she also looks like she would be a really good lover. therefore... that leaves BEHEAD to derrek. ( not that i could anyhow. )”
