luciusbelmonte said: secrets : my muse sharing/confiding their deepest, darkest secret with your muse.
IT WASN’T OFTEN THAT valeria actually shared things regarding her past. in fact, her inability to open up about the trauma’s she’d experienced under the hand of her monstrous parents had been the exact thing to end her and selene’s relationship. if she’d just said something, anything about justin.... thinking such thoughts did no good for her. those thoughts were the exact reason she’d wound up drinking again anyway. consistently mauling over the many several ways she constantly ruined her closest relationships. how everyone left --- but in reality, she made them leave. her loneliness was to be blamed on nobody but herself, though, when the sun peaked through her curtains in a few hours, these mangled, messy truths would be veiled once again by her sobriety, her inability to accept.
her eyes remained downcast into the drink she held close to her face, watching as the alcohol swirled in her cup with the lightest movements of her fingers. “ one time, “ the words come as a shock, even to her, but at this point... why stop? “ after my mother no doubt drove the love of my life out of town, i had a bender. a bad one, and i can remember... breaking back into the house at three-o-five am. i went upstairs, and i stood in my parents room. i watched them as they slept. but all i could keep thinking about was that... justin was clean. and because my mother was a foul human being, now he probably wasn’t. if he was even still alive. and i just... kept getting angrier and angrier... “ even now, she could picture it vividly. the swaying of the room, staring at her mothers peaceful appearing face. scary how angelic a demon could look when resting, she found herself thinking. “ i thought about how easy it would be. to kill her. to be done with her. i thought i could do it. “
and if she had her time back now, she would have. in a heart beat. granted, there’s nothing stopping her now. “ i didn’t have much control over my magic but somehow i... i managed to pick up their dresser, and i had it hovering over the bed. directly above her. all i had to do was let it go. “ she had stayed there like it for a good ten minutes, staring at the woman who gave her life, wondering how much trouble she’d be in if she woke up at that exact moment, to find her ‘perfect daughter’ standing in their room in the middle of the night. hovering a dresser above her head while sipping on a half empty bottle of jack daniels. she almost wished she would. “ but in the end i knew there would be no way to explain how she died if i did that. so i didn’t. but i had her there. and i was ready to do it. i could’ve, and i don’t think i would’ve felt bad. “ and the perfect facade is gone, the broken shell of a twisted girl left in its wake, sipping at her vodka with distant, empty chocolate eyes.
“ i just didn’t want to be caught. “
