I wanted to try a different coloring style, and I wanted to draw my new oc again.
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I wanted to try a different coloring style, and I wanted to draw my new oc again.
DREAM CHANNEL FEATURE SCRIPT - FINAL DRAFT DISCUSSIONS ;)
I thought this might be quite interesting ... After 2 years we are in the final stages of getting the script finalised ... This is how it's been playing out
a) I write drafts and send them to people that I trust to read.
b) they come back with all these questions about the story world - confused about all kinds of stuff
c) In answering their questions I work out (almost on the fly) answers to how the story world works ... It's almost as if I always knew the answers but needed someone to prompt them out of me ... Like when I say the answer it's literally the first time the detail has ever come out of my head in any way - both written or spoken ... Did I know the answer already or am I just making it up on the fly??? Im not sure .. but what I do know is that the process works ... The hard part has been getting anyone to read the script well enough to give me the chance to get into the discussion in the first place ..
The way that we (we being myself and Sam Atwell - a reasonably recognised guy who writes for Home & Away) are proceeding at present is by Sam sending me his questions on each scene and me then answering but cutting out parts of the script and referencing them into a written discussion inside the treatment .. Sound confusing?? Well I've cut out a bit of it so you can read for yourself how we are doing it ! It's kinda weird but fun ...
So if you care have a read .. Remember you are reading the inside discussions of a feature film about the future of your dreams - about an economy / black market for dreams that you can participate in just by taking the lucid dreaming drug DICE - sounds like something that might get green lit one day hey ? Maybe sooner than you think (prick) ;)
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The Dream Channel Treatment:
Tag Line
Every Dream has it’s price
Log Line
A girl is sold to a futuristic game show by her boyfriend
Premise:
When you discover your true talent the struggle to harness it is a battle between good and evil that has its roots in family
Synopsis:
When 16 year old lucid dreamer has her dream stolen by her boyfriend, she becomes a reluctant star inside a dangerous game show played out on The Dream Channel. Lucy must learn to realise and harness the power of her femme fatal, confront the abandonment issues that have always controlled her life to win her dream world back.
Treatment
Script Page 1-2
The film begins with Lucy having a recurring dream that she has had since childhood. Set in a jail (a metaphor for housing her fears and her subsequent constraints) she is escorted to a room where she comes face to face with a man (who unbeknown to us is her father) - ‘The Game Presenter’ - wearing a ring masters jacket and top hat. Lucy’s name inside the dream world is Riot Kitten , revealed by the insignia on the headband that she places around her forehead, - possibly a name that her father has given to her - possibly a the first glimpse we have into her personality.
I think we need to see her named RIOT KITTEN
(Jon) He should name her in this scene by giving her the head scarf …
Inside the dream they sit opposite each other and play a game of Russian Roulette. It is evident that they have played this game many times before. The Game Presenter’s comment “You can’t die in your dreams” , followed up by Lucy grinning while he pulls the trigger points towards a deeper relationship that has possibly been taking place inside an experimental dream space that they frequent together. Why does he test her? The scene ends with Lucy putting the gun against her fathers head. She is about to pull the trigger when the dynamic between them suddenly changes. Lucy’s confidence fails and she loses her grip on the gun. The Game Presenter looks around with confidence – his immediate surrounds start to change. He has in fact gained control of the dream. This is the first pointer towards a power struggle that occurs between characters inside dreams.
(new)
Lucy wakes up in a bed next to her boyfriend James. She lives in a shared house with two of his friends on the outskirts of the city of Lucydia. James is looking at her intrigued about what dream she has just had . Lucy tells him about the dream but that she didn’t mean to re-visit it .. She apologizes to James – What is she apologizing for? Is he controlling her to the point that he even tells her what she should be dreaming.
In her apology Lucy describes the dream as one that just pops up from time to time – a dream that has been recurring for years and years. James knows the dream asks her if it’s “the Russian Roulette one –with the guy from the TV?” – he laughs it off as normal.
Is he manipulating her here – for what end – im a little confused
(Jon) The point of the scene is to establish that Lucy is a lucid dreamer + this is the world they (Lucy & James) experiment with. BUT James is keen to know what dreams she has been having. He sees them as special PLUS the dynamic of their relationship is that she seems to be dreaming for him.
(new – re-write of page 3)
In the living room James band mate Mr G, is sitting watching The Game Presenter on TV advertising the city of Lucydia’s social network - a subconscious social network called SUBLIME.
We’re setting up here that the game presenter is the same one as Lucy’s dream?
(Jon) Yes we are
(new)
The network pays you for your dreams and is strictly for over 18’s. Lucy checks the fridge and there is nothing there. She asks James for some money to go to the shop and get some breakfast.
Does Lucy work – is she at school?
(Jon) NO - she does this for money + survive on what James brings in from gigs. They survive on this.
(new)
He shrugs his shoulders … She asks him about the money he took from here at the gig last night .. He shrugs his shoulders again looking over at Gangster.
Now that we’ve set up that people get a ‘dream name’ I think we need to be very careful with our names in the real world – I think they have to have normal names here and then names like gangster and jiggy pop inside the dream.
(Jon)_ Hmmm I’m predicting a future where as soon as our on-line profiles are big enough our names become our on-line handles – For big stars their real names are embarrassing .. We could include a scene at the beginning / somewhere where James (know as Fret) is called “James” to piss him off … Maybe Lucy does this when they have their final argument. Lucy sould start out being called LUCY .. Then at the end everyone calls her Riot Kitty .. There should be a moment when this happens ..
(new)
Gangster comments that he spent it on that hot girl at the bar. He and Gangster laugh … James point out that she is only 17 so can’t come into bars. The moment shows the dynamic of James and Lucy;s - he takes her for granted and treats her with little respect because she is a woman .. Lucy walks out
Is the point of the above paragraph that she’s only 17?
(Jon) No the point of the scene is to show that James treats her without respect . He laughs about spending their last money on another girl! It’s a scene like in Alien at the beginning when Ripley is dissed continuously by the other crew members in subtle ways … because she is the only woman on board.
(page 4 -7 to be adapted as per below)
Lucy is sitting on the front porch watching the neighbours play in the street. A group of skateboarders dare a younger member of their crew to come over and drop her a note. There is a young naive innocence about Lucy’s interactions with boys her own age. When one of their fathers appears and tells them they need to get into the car as he is taking them to football, Lucy’s gaze at the family unit shows her internal longing for a family / father. NICE
This is contrasted with the interest communicated moments later when 35 year old, sleazy ‘Tone Rig’ appears in a black SUV with the music pumping. Lucy watches the car go past and stands up looking like she is about to go over to it / recognizes it. Tone slows down and then sees the family assembling across the road and drives away. Who is this man? What does he want.? Lucy’s actions point towards some kind of relationship with older men that she wants / makes happen all the time almost by routine. His presence is almost a premonition of things to come
What’s the interaction between her and Tone – do they make contact?
(jon) I don’t think they need to do more than recognize each other … It plants a seed.
(Page 8 – 10)
That night Lucy has arrives at a house. She knocks on the door and a woman answers (Tone Rigs wife) . Invited inside she meets she is greeted by their child .. Tone and his wife are getting ready to go out and Lucy is babysitting for them!, Tone lures Lucy into his room. Pulling behind the door he makes a risky move on Lucy. Taken by surprise Lucy pushes Tone away – he forces himself on her more. Lucy kisses him back for a few seconds. The scene demonstrates again Lucy’s abandonment issues. Her attraction to older males is clear - but her naivety and false confidence gets herself into deeper water than she has the experience to deal with. Something could easily come unstuck.
I thought we were going to take out that she kissed him back at all – I’m still not sure of the point of this scene – how it adds to the story – I think it would if she fought him off – show an inner power that surprises Tone and her. Tone may not need to be aggressive here either – more suggestive. Have you seen “The Slap” – hector and the young girl who works at the vet.
(jon)
She does kiss him - but not like before .. .. .She’s fully being taken advantage of but she has to have some kind of interest / labido .. Her flaw needs to push her into these things that are bad ..
(Page 10- 16)
After Tone and his wife depart James appears from hiding in the garden. Entering Lucy turns on the SUBLIME console sitting under Tone’s TV. SUBLIME is a subliminal game that you play by attaching yourself through a headset and falling asleep.
SUBLIME is set in previous scene yes?
(Jon) we have seen an ad for it at the beginning
Lucy and James connect to SUBLIME. Lying next to each other their dreams are broadcast simultaneously on the TV. Their dreams start out with a particular theme and are then branded by a product that relates in some manner.
Bit confused about the product branding – what’s the purpose of this? How does it serve the plot?
(jon) It’s the early Dream Channel … It’s what people do who don’t have access to DICE … It’s a game that anyone can play. It works along the lines of subliminal sounds etc .,. Ie you play the game by giving it dreams .. It in turn pays you through credits and subliminal ads (ads that make you go and buy products etc)
LUCY has gained access to The Dream Channel (because her dream is now on it) and when they (James and her) play SUBLIME Lucy access The Dream Channel because of this .. If this is confusing I can talk to you about it more on the phone.
DICE allows access to The Dream Channel without using SUBLIME >.
The Dream Channel access Lucy through SUBLIME (not the other way around) because it is tapping/ hacking her dream
l .. (confusing to write this . I need to tell u on the phone)
Things on screen take a turn when their dream feed falters and the feed appears to be hacked / interrupted by a new channel .. THE DREAM CHANNEL. The Dream Channel logo spins making a hypnotic tone and then dissolves into a dream city viewed through the TV screen from Lucy’s point of view.
Why and how does the DREAM CHANNEL interrupt here?
(covered above)
Lucy stumbles into a large town square where there is the sound of a large unseen crowd tuning in and watching the action. On the other side of the square a small gang of gothic type characters lead by a ring leader ‘JIGGY POP’ have just slit a girls throat. Lucy approaches the group with naive curiosity. JIGGY POP sees Lucy as an intruder and demands that Lucy gets out of her dream. The confrontation points towards a struggle for ownership of dreams inside The Dream Channel.
Great. She’s crossed worlds – yes? So just for me in the dumb seats – SUBLIME is accessible to everyone but DREAM CHANNEL is like a premium service and invite only?
(jon) YES! You have to take DICE to access Dream Channel … Lucy gets access to it through Sublime because it is tapping her dream already
With Sublime a metaphor for futuristic sex, James puts his clothes on.
How do we understand the above sentence? Is it necessary? At the moment I think it really confuses what the dream world is about – it narrows it. ‘
(Jon) It’s just symbolic – he just puts his jacket on ,,.. It’s just the way he puts it on ..
He asks her about the dream she just had. She begins to tell him and then all of a sudden cannot remember it. Almost panicking and commenting that Lucy never forgets any dreams, James proceeds to use Sublime to look through Lucy’s stored dream bank. Finding a blank gap where the dream should be they decide to reconvene at James friends place - Mr G;’s. James reaction towards Lucy not remembering her dream points the fact that something else is at play – he has arranged something involving her dreams . It’s almost as if she is incubating his baby!
Why does James leave her?
(Jon) because they are at Tone Rigs house and he arrives home (page 14)
Later that night - Lucy avoids a ride home offered by Tone Rig and leaves quickly,. As she leaves Tone Rig suspects that Lucy has been playing with Sublime.
Is it a problem that she was playing with SUBLIME?
(jon) Yes – (i) she is underage and should not be playing with it (ii) If she is then Tone is going to go looking for her on Dream Channel and try to fuck with her .!
His facial gestures allude to the fact that his devious intentions towards Lucy are now may have a new and more dangerous medium to explore
(PAGE 16-19)
19. Lucy wakes up on the couch at Mr G’s, Lucy gathers her thoughts. The empty vials of the lucid dreaming drug TWILO sitting on the coffee table opposite signify that upon arrival James coerced her into taking the drug so that her and Mr G could have a good look at her dream process.
This is the first time we see TWILO? Again is it nessary or confuse things – why haven’t they needed it before? Could we not use SUBLIME again – We need to keep the dream world as simple to understand as possible.
(jon)
I think we need to add something about drugs here .. In the scene MrG does explain that to really take a look they need DICE .. It’s the introduction to the drug – I think it works