"I don’t think I ever loved you." // "I can’t stand to look at you." // "Why won’t you believe me?" // "I don’t love you any more." // "I don’t want to see you ever again." // "I don’t know what I’d do without you." // "You can’t just leave me like this…"
"I don’t think I ever loved you."
“Why do you have to say that? Seriously, Finn after four years together you have to throw that in my face too? You got the point across when you decided to cheat on me with half of our class. I don’t need you to tell me that you never loved me because I can see plenty just how little you cared for me. Are you happy now? I’m the laughing stock of the school and I have nobody. Is that what you wanted? Well congratulations, thank you for wasting four years of my life.”
“I can’t stand to look at you.”
“What was I supposed to do? You weren’t answering my calls or my texts and nobody knew where you were! You told me you’d bought those drugs earlier and I was worried about you. I had no choice, I had to go to Patrick. I only did it because I love you and was afraid. Please, baby, just look at me. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have done anything. I’m sorry.”
“Why won’t you believe me?”
“Why won’t I believe you? Because the last three times I did I later found out you were fucking someone else. A different someone else, all three times. You have no right to ask me to believe anything you say. I don’t want to hear it. Your stupid excuses, I’m done. I know now better than to trust a word that comes out of your mouth.”
"I don’t love you any more."
“You don’t mean that. Come on, Finn, don’t say that. It was one mistake, I should have had my phone on but please don’t tell me you don’t love me. I’m sorry, okay? I’ll do anything to show you that. I love you, and I know you love me. I messed up but don’t stop loving me because of it, please baby.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Are you high? Jesus, Finn this is like the fourth night in a row. I can’t keep coming to pick you up at 3 in the morning.”
“You can’t just leave me like this…"
“No Finley, I can. You had your chance. You had many, many chances. Many more than you deserved because I had no self-respect and didn’t know how to stand up for myself but not anymore. I am done taking your abuse and I am done letting you embarrass me by sleeping around with those girls who were supposed to be my friend just because you like the power rush you get from knowing you hurt me. I get that you and your brother are fighting at home but I’m sorry, it isn’t my problem anymore. Call one of your bootycalls to give you a ride or something.”
“Why do you never fucking mind your own business? I don’t fucking love you, I’m not your boyfriend. I pay your bills and you fuck me and that’s it.” Jackson hadn’t mean to snap at Drew, especially not that hard. It was probably the worst he’s ever gotten angry. He didn’t like him pushing for more affection, more closeness and knowledge of his past. Turning around he saw angry tears bubble out of the blue eyes he’d come to adore. “Baby-” His lips quickly shut as he took a step towards him and reached out to pull him in, regardless of how pissed Drew probably was. “I’m sorry- I don’t know what got into me I just...” He bit his lip and reached up to wipe away those hot tears. “Please don’t be mad at me, you know how I am.” Leaning down he pressed a kiss to his forehead. “You can scream at me, just please understand how I feel.”
♝ holding hands
Jackson woke up and saw Drew having what seemed like a bad dream, he normally didn’t sleep this far away from him when they slept together. He saw his outstretched hand, seeming to be reaching for something when Jackson absentmindedly took it and pulled him closer. “It’s okay.” He tried to calm him down, and it seemed to work. Lacing their hands together, Drew squeezed his hand and pulled it into his chest. Fuck- how was he supposed to get that back before he woke up? Trying to wiggle his hand free, he saw a frown grown on Drew’s face and Jackson sighed, giving up. “You’re a brat even when you sleep.” Jackson whispered to the sleeping boy. But he did have to admit, he looked really cute when he was sleeping happily.
☮ stroking/ruffling hair
"Baby, you can’t have that.” Jackson chuckled, shaking his head. “We’re both tall, if we can’t reach it you can’t have it. It’s fate.” He’d easily ask someone to come pull a ladder and get the hat that Drew wanted down, but he didn’t. He loved how frustrated Drew seemed to get when he couldn’t get something, it was adorable. Snapping his fingers, a man with a ladder came and Jackson quickly told him what he wanted. Taking the hat, he ruffled Drew’s hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead before placing the hat on his head. “It’s cute on you. We’ll take it.” Leaning down, he pressed his lips to Drew’s ear. “You owe daddy now, don’t you? Like to see you in that little snapback number of yours while you’re on your knees on our way back home.” Jackson felt it was a win win situation, he got to see Drew pout and get what he wanted.
✍ my muse teaching your muse
Rolling his eyes, he frowned as he watched Drew work on some homework in his office. “You said you’d be done by the time I was done. What is this anyways?” Walking over he saw math and looked away, he hated math. “How about I teach you how to pay attention properly instead of watching me while I work?” He knew the boy had been watching him while he was working, instead of doing his own. Pressing his lips to Drew’s neck, he sucked and nipped. “Keep working.” He mumbled as his hands traveled down Drew’s chest from behind the chair, unbuckling his pants. “Just ignore daddy and finish your work, baby. Learn to concentrate.”
feeling super grateful for all of my one on one partners who deal with me and bring me lots of happiness (and sadness) with our ships. thanks for putting up with me and my long reply times sometimes :c if we don’t talk I hope we can talk more because you guys are
[MSG]: I guess my company doesn't interest you any more. [MSG]: Does she do that thing that I do for you? [MSG]: I'm a fool for thinking I was special to you. [MSG]: I can't bear to see you with someone else. // from drew to jackson bc i live for jealousy
OOF
[D]: I guess my company doesn’t interest you any more.[J]: I’ve been busy with a merger all week. You can come over for dinner.[J]: You know how work gets.[D]: Does she do that thing that I do for you? [J]: What? Bitch and complain? She does plenty of that. Almost as good as you.[J]: But no, she doesn’t make me feel like you do. I hate what you do to me.[D]: I’m a fool for thinking I was special to you. [J]: I’m a fool for filling your bank account. [J]: But yes, you are. I made that clear when we began.[J]: You’re a fool because you made yourself so special to me.
[D]: I can’t bear to see you with someone else.[J]: Then don’t look. Just close your eyes and look away.[J]: You know who you are. Should we end our contract then? [J]: Sometimes we have to be with people we don’t want, you should understand my position. You had to be with me long enough when you didn’t want to.
i’m gonna be crying the entire time so just picture kim kardashian ugly crying while reading this.
✿ five times my muse almost texted yours, and the one time they did.
[JACKSON]: i need you, baby, i feel so fucking sick[JACKSON]: i fucking saw you out with your friends while i was driving to work, i’m so jealous[JACKSON]: you can call me your boyfriend if that means i can see you more and you’d be as happy with me as you are with everyone else[JACKSON]: it’s so lonely after you leave, i wish i let you stay the night[JACKSON]: you will never be like her, you’re too fucking perfect[JACKSON]: you fucking left your underwear in my office and I had a meeting where a partners wife found them
❤ five times my muse says they don’t love yours, and the one time they admit it
Watching Drew sleep on his couch, falling asleep while waiting for Jackson to finish his work for the evening. For a moment he allowed himself to believe he was waiting there because he wanted to, but he knew it was for the money. Once he was done, Jackson walked over and bent down to play with Drew’s hair. His eyes opened, and gave him a knowing glance- fucking snarky boy. “I won’t love you, get that out of your head.”
He was drunk, he never drank very often- at least not to the point of being drunk. “I don’t love you, you know?” Looking over at Drew, he leaned onto his shoulder. “I don’t do love, you fucking know that.” His hands gripped at Drew’s arms like he was some small child in need of some affection of any kind. “I don’t love you, please don’t love me.”
Digging his fingers into Drew’s hips, he finished and rolled Drew over. Just looking at his throughly fucked face made Jackson take a sharp breath. “I don’t love you.” He didn’t even mean to say it, he was mostly saying it for himself. He felt nothing but lust for the boy, he couldn’t have loved him. Leaning down he pressed a soft kiss to his lips and then rested his head in his neck.
Drew had found him curled up on himself, struggling to breath and think straight. He couldn’t hear the words coming out of his lips, but Jackson tried focusing on him. Curling himself on to him, he couldn’t bring himself to detach from the younger boy. Ten minutes later, Jackson was grounded. “I don’t love you.” He said suddenly, gripping him tightly. “I don’t ever want you to see me like that again, I don’t need you.” He needed him tremendously. “If you see me like that I want you to leave. I can handle my own problems.”
Slamming the door, he heard his assistant calling the police to escort his wife out of the building. “You see this shit?!” Jackson roared, shaking from shock. “This is why I don’t love you- why I will never fucking love you!” It wasn’t Drew’s fault, it was her’s. Knocking his chair over, he ran a hand through his hair. “Just go, please fucking go. Or stay. I don’t know.”
Jackson hadn’t heard from Drew, nothing. He’d left so many voicemails, 57 to be exact. “Drew.” His voice cracked, his hand covering his eyes in stress. “You can’t keep ignoring me. I can’t- fuck, I love you. I love you. Please come back.” But he wasn’t sure he ever was going to. Jackson messed up so many times before, he forced him away. He’d throw all his money at him if it meant he’d have another moment with him.
☪ five times our muses almost hold hands, and the one time they do.
Jackson went to reach for his hand to pull him closer to him, not liking how close he was standing to other people. Instead he reached for his arm and pulled him closer. “You’re mine, remember that.”
Their finger tips brushed up against each other, Jackson not realizing how soft his hands were against his own. He wanted to grab them and explore, but he stopped himself. That was insanely inappropriate.
Having Drew underneath him, Jackson went to reach for his hands to hold him down. Instead his hands wrapped around his wrists and pinned him down as he fucked him. Catching a glimpse of the light marks on his wrists later, he was glad he had gone for them instead.
Glancing over at Drew, he could see his breath on the air. It was freezing outside, snow everywhere. Looking down he noticed he wasn’t wearing gloves. He moved to take his hands in his own gloved hands to warm them up. Instead he just pulled his own gloves off and tossed them towards him. “Don’t want you to lose those hands of yours.”
Watching Drew fall on his face, Jackson rushed over. But as soon as he saw that he was okay, he let out a chuckle and shook his head. He offered his hand, but quickly retracting it- now wanting to hold hands. “Get yourself up, over grown child. Learn to walk properly.” He smirked and kept walking.
Jackson was going to lose him forever, he had a deep fear of it. “Walk out that door and everything will be over.” He tried not to show any emotion, but he was extremely distressed. The second Drew made any movement, Jackson finally grabbed his hand and pulled him towards him. His hands were just as soft as he thought they might be. He just hoped this wouldn’t be the last time he got to hold them.
☁ five times my muse has thought about yours, and the one time they do something about it.
Rolling over in his bed, he reached for Drew to pull him closer to keep him warm. But instead looked at the empty side of it and groaned. Stupid fucking kid.
“Yeah, I’ll have the steak and Drew will have-” He paused. “Sir, you didn’t call Drew over today.” His fist clenched, it had become just second nature to order thinking he was going to come.
He woke up again, this time his sexual needs were undeniable. “Drew.” His hips shifted up, fire in his throat. “Fuck.” He breathed, realizing he wasn’t there. He could have called someone else, but he could only think of him. Instead he rolled out of bed and took an extremely long shower.
Looking at ties, he paused and found himself wondering what Drew would like. What colors did he like best on him? He was almost tempted to call him. A blush crept onto his cheeks as he realized his thought process. Quickly he walked out of the store, but only to return ten minutes later and shyly purchase the one he knew Drew would like.
“My wife and I have two extra tickets to go see this play, you should come along and bring someone.” One of his partners smiled at him, Jackson instantly thought about Drew. “I, um... I don’t have someone.” He forced himself to say. Drew wouldn’t have enjoyed it anyways. Jackson had been trying to hide him as much as possible, he wasn’t going to put all that effort to waste.
Pulling up to Jackson’s school, he was dressed casually and waiting in his convertible. Plenty of college students were starring, recognizing him from magazine covers and their business classes. “Hey, Drew.” He smiled, watching him walk up to the car. “I missed you, thought I come get you instead of the driver. Hop in. We can go to that gross burger place you like.”
fuck, fuck, fuck. he's running late again, five minutes past the bell and he just knows he's going to land a detention for this (because miss winston hates him and his tattoos and his cigarettes and his general lack of care for school in its entirety), can feel the dread swelling in the pit of his stomach at having to waste yet another saturday morning holed up in a tiny classroom next to the kid with the ridiculously horrid body odor, and it's while he's lost in his head that he smacks right into a someone, or a something because jesus christ, who has a body built like that? rubbing at his forehead, lips curling into a frown and eyebrows creasing with a tremendous effort to look even more unimpressed and personally affronted, nic finally spares a glance up at his assaulter and oh, oh okay. it's not a big deal, not really, except for the fact that it really, really is because this is him kneeling in front of him, scooping up all of his books and mumbling out apologies in that slow, delicious voice he's only fantasized about for basically, oh, forever? his brain kind of short-circuits then and all he can even think to do is blink owlishly up at that face and those lips and oh god, how is this his life? who is miss winston again? what is he doing? does it even matter? just as he's managed to get past the erratic pounding of his heart that seems to be flooding his ears, nic realizes that the guy must have been talking to him because he's looking at him expectantly and also with a twinge of worry twisted into his smile, but he is, in fact, smiling and that's about all nic needed in life and he can now effectively go die happy. "um," he answers eloquently, because obviously he is a wordsmith in the face of the most attractive guy ever, and then he just starts laughing, the sounds hiccuping from his throat and vibrating up the walls of the otherwise desolate corridor, because seriously? of course this happens when he isn't even trying; the universe does tend to work that way, after all.
