#lupinemother

[giggletoday]

Monnie, I love how sweet you are. You are bubbles to me. I love you

.

[myalphabetinmotion]

Gang up. Move in.

* written with the ever lovely Lupinemother <3 i woke up kneeling on my living room carpet, face down and ankles covered. organ music was playing 'hush a bye' right after the national anthem. anything to get us to stay quiet.

i've never felt so haunted.

I cried out to the God of small things in a loud voice and begged to wake up.

I wept at 3 am for my friends who cover their heads in reverance I wept for the butch dykes in the super markets I wept for my friends with braids and big earrings I wept for my friends in strange land

I wept for myself, knowing if I hold your hand anywhere besides underneath the table, we'd be sent away, our affection the only offense

i haven't prayed in years, but i've felt God in the tips of her fingers. I've felt faith as I roll down the window to let the rain catch us together.

i wonder how many times he has stepped into a mosque and heard the prayers echo around their hearts like music.

i am so tired of helping the monsters play catch-up while I am running for my life.

I spent the day mourning in black, flat tire heart and broken mind And saw the hate of a million small worlds burst forth And the anger of a million children left behind By their mothers, by their fathers,  by their neighbors, by their country.

I ran all day, fighting for my life against the shards of dying grass and biting winds

Where do I run to, when the roads are all white-paved. Where do I run to, when the rules are one at a time. Where do I run to, when the men stand guard with hands as weapons.

Where do I go but to the Lord, says the hymn my bible burns with the wrath of His people.

The pages sting my skin like the words aren't for me anymore Unless my clothes are pressed and I sit up straighter.

I roll out my tongue to welcome myself in. To grow louder than those who speak against our becoming.

I set fire to the clothes I wore before I knew it was never my choice See also: fault. See also: free will was never free for me until I made it so

I weep a blanket into being. Cover the people who need it. Blow fire into the sky for those who need the light.

I pull my skin tight as can be, use its power to let others' be. I gather my skirt up and use it to gag those who think it can be taken.

I hold hands with my lovers in places where we aren't welcome And pray with my family of a different color And pray with my family to God with a different name I listen to sonnets in the language of the motherland.

The losses we feel will multiply. The fear we face will grow.

We will not lose each other.