#lutoru

[its-luna-noel]

idk been thinking today about satoru who tries to leave because he doesn’t think this life — his life — is good enough for you.

he does his best, but he can’t change the truth of his existence. he’s the strongest, and he doesn’t want to force that life on you. he can’t. so he pulls back, tries to step away, tries to let you forget about him.

but when he has a shitty, shitty day he finds himself wandering up to your front door, way too late for it to be casual. and you open the door, and he just looks so fucking drained, so you welcome him back in and he just melts against you.

“just let me have this,” he breathes into your hair, pressing exhausted little kisses across your face. “let me fuck this up. let me be bad for you. let me make a huge fucking mistake, and let me keep you.”

[its-luna-noel]

friends to lovers ⋆ blurry pictures ⋆ laughing through kisses ⋆ the yapper and the listener ⋆ height difference ⋆ every day is an adventure ⋆ smiles over breakfast ⋆ someone you can be soft with ⋆ "you deserve good things" ⋆ unwavering devotion ⋆ growing together ⋆ "i see you" ⋆ thoughtful conversations before bed ⋆ mutual healing ⋆ "you're enough"

hard launching lutoru, thank you @doodlejoops for the amazing art im so so happy with it!

[its-luna-noel]

the attractiveness of a man who can teach you something without making you feel stupid. unmatched.

[its-luna-noel]

lutoru has a very classic meet cute at a sweets shop but it's not really love at first sight, it's just this overwhelming joy at hearing my laugh

(background, my friends have stated i have the best, most joyful laugh that you can recognize anywhere)

and he just. perks up in surprise? because how many people laugh with such abandon these days, especially in his line of work, and the sound is just so contageous it makes him fight a smile

and idk i just think about us both clearly hiding pain and fear and anger behind a laugh ties us together in this unspoken way, and it actually keeps us from really growing close and getting to know each other for a while, because we've each got this easy smile and don't want to worry the other

[its-luna-noel]

this fall <3

[its-luna-noel]

okay, i’m new to self-shipping so i only have my one lol but here’s my choices:

lutoru: sky dragon + lazulia dragon (the magical guy and the girl (enby) who writes about him)

[its-luna-noel]

reading this post and thinking about how satoru and i both tear ourselves apart to support and protect the other.

like especially in the beginning, we’re both sooo afraid of being “too much.” so we walk on eggshells to keep the other at a distance, because getting too close means letting them see the fractures. so we smile, and we pretend we’re fine, and we try to protect each other by squashing our own needs underfoot.

it’s how we’ve lived our entire lives, after all.

[its-luna-noel]

something something, i've never been comfortable enough to express my gender identity in a relationship before satoru, so i don't tell him my pronouns and let him misgender me all the time, just because i expect him to want me to be what i present as (a very fem-bodied, fem-presenting afab)

and eventually he catches on that my friends use they/them for me and when they finally leave, he shuts the door behind them and turns to me, eyes serious when he asks me about it

and i pretend it's not a big deal, that it doesn't bother me and it's okay that he sees me as a girl

but he cuts me off and takes my arms and says he sees me as i want to be seen, not as some perfect (and ((transphobically on my part)) "uncomplicated," cisgender) version of myself

and so we start slowly, with him finally using my correct pronouns and sometimes getting it wrong but always apologetic, and i gradually get more comfortable presenting a little more fluid around him

and he accommodates every part of me, even when i feel like a guy and bind and don't want him looking at my chest, or when i can't bear to be intimate because i just wish my body was different, or even when i hate every inch of myself because it doesn't match what's in my head at the time

something something, finally feeling safe enough to let myself be who i truly am, without worry that he'll see something undesirable