Lifestory_u_ray
As I said, I wanted to write a blog post about myself, since I don't really go into my past life that much... Well we'll start off the day I was born, I guess. On the 10th of October, 1996, little Elouise Tait was brought into the world at St. Mary's hospital, Newport on the Isle of Wight, red faced and screaming. Little did I know at such a young age, I was close to death due to a sudden deadly infection that had made its way into my mum's maternity ward. Nonetheless, both my mother and I made it out alive and well. Skip ahead two years later, my mother and my father ended their relationship. They were never married, and I never saw my father again - I don't even remember being with him physically. All I do know was that he didn't take care of me, and locked my in a room stranded in my cot, crying out to be cared for. This lead to the end of my double-parenting. I remember moving into a small, unstable terraced house, my grandmother putting up the curtains in the front room and having a takeaway for dinner. Other than that, I remember nothing until primary school, but I don't want to talk about that, it's uninteresting. I do, however, want to talk about middle school. Middle school was the lowest point of my entire life. At first, I thought I had a true best friend, someone who I could rely on and love and trust like my own sister, and for the first year, that's what she was to me. However, that was taken from me. The sixth year of my school year soon became a living hell. The friend who knew so much about me ended up backstabbing me and leaving me for another 'best friend'. For years they claimed I was bullying them, when in truth I said not a negative thing about them in public, or to anyone I knew, especially not to them. For three years I suffered in silence, and with that, came consequences. I didn't talk to my mother about my issues with the two girls because she always told me it wouldn't last, but when you're 13 and your mind has been twisted to believe there is no good in the world, that's difficult to comprehend. I developed depression and anxiety, constantly feeling as though someone's innocent laughter was directes at me, someone talking to their friend was negative towards me, someone who I exchanged glances with was thinking nasty things about me. I was swallowed into this nasty hole of black, where my only way out was pain. I ended up self-harming. I knew it was dumb and I didnt want to bare the burden of scars so I was careful. Again this was caused by anxiety. I didn't want people to know i was suffering, and I especially didn't want them to see scars on my wrists. At one point I considered suicide, yet convinced myself I had something to look forward to. And I was right. In High School, I met a guy called Thomas. Funny guy, ganer, bit of a nerd. My kinda guy. We dated for two years, and I regret nothing that happened between us (though nothing too kinky, haha!). He was a good boyfriend, I was a moderately okay girlfriend, and we ended it sort of mutually. Wiiith a few complications but that's not important. During that time, I recieved a phone call from my aunt. My father had died in the night, supposedly from a seizure. The night of that phone call, I did not cry, but I did silently mourn. My hopes of meeting my father had died with him, and I realised that the fact he had never been there was more important to me than I thought. Moving on, I took another dive into a relationship, though this one was much more complicated. Initially, I wasn't going to go through with it, as my first boyfriend cheated on me (Not Tom!), and put me off Long Distance Relationships, but then there I was, agreeing to put myself through it once again. And what a decision that was. Zack changed my life. He was the one person who didn't joke about things that I was passionate about, and he didn't tease me about my cute love letters, but he did tease me about crushes on band members. Nonetheless, he accepted me for who I was, and for a year and a half, was everything to me. There was nothing I looked forward to more than coming home to Skype him, talking about games or our future together. He was the perfect partner for me, but due to complications on his behalf, and the distance, he decided our relationship wasn't suitable and decided to break it off in the early hours of November. I never did get get to feel his embrace around me. I mourn our relationship still, over a month later, hoping that some day we can try again. But for now, my priorities attempt to remain elsewhere. If you haven't guessed where, you're silly. Radio 11 began through a few Friday chillout sessions with Sparkles* from Area 11. During the later dates of August, it became an every day thing, and now we have a huge community. Wanting to find my place in the Area 11 community, I invested in Radio 11 as much as I could. I was there daily, whenever I could be, helping people to use the new plug.dj, and with the rules and whatnot. I took a dive into becoming a resident dj... And passed! It was about three weeks to a month before I was made a bouncer, and another one or two months before Sparkles* decided I was worthy, and made myself and Rachel Managers or Radio 11. Since then, we've worked on the rules, the ban list, keeping the radio free of noobs, and we've helped out with FanCorps/Team 11. There is another top secret thing, but it may never exist, so we'll see about that one. 'Working' for Radio 11 is an absolute privilege, I love the community and have so many new friends there, and I'm so grateful that I got to meet Adam (who I won't tag because this is a bit personal to drag him into also #shoutout) as he's a fantastic person and his typo's and super cool personality make my day! I guess that's it, really. Thanks for reading if you did... Tl;dr i was a sad child but area 11 made me happy Also Lux_u_ray originated from my deviantART username then later my Minecraft username, and stuck ever since. It's a play on words between the pokemon Luxray and the word luxury. Good day!