#lyfd

[lyfd]

Next month will mark a year since you've been gone.

Life keeps moving and I hate that.

I hate that it's normal now, you not being here.

I hate letting you go.

[lyfd]

I’ve been using the services of an end of life doula who is just an absolutely amazing person, and has helped me incredibly

(Cannot recommend their services enough)

But she stopped contacting me at the start of this year which I took pretty hard as she was a balm for my grief

At first I thought she was busy, then that she forgot about me which stung. I’ve felt very alone in my grief

I understand I’m a client but she genuinely cared

At the end of March she contacted me, advising me she was thinking of me

But that same day a family member let me know they had contacted her earlier that morning for help with someone else which would have prompted her to contact me

My grief feels so isolating

[lyfd]

Had a really good cry in his car

Actually loud, emotive crying

Wailing

[lyfd]

My dad died in front of me

He died in front of me and I couldn't save him

[lyfd]

People have stopped checking in with me

It's been 5 months but I'm still struggling, but no one reaches out

If I do catch up with someone and they ask "how are you?", if I'm honest and say "not great" they always ask "why?"

Why? "Because my dad died"

They always seem surprised at this

[b-flat-1]

Cu

,

9.d* ?& + xu

Xesxexg xd9

7i