#m suffers

[pierced-he4rt]

𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔 𝖔𝖗 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗

hey, you can call me m. i'm twenty-one, totally insane, and a complete loser. i enjoy hiking, alternative fashion, painting, rock & metal music, and reading. i also love tattoos and piercings and have many.

𝖎𝖒𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖊 my faith (✝), people i love, honesty, communication

𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖐 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 music, books, tattoos/piercings, history, nature

✧☾𖤓

general tw for my blog. this is not a shed blog and i will not post anything explicit, but i am very mentally ill and my blog may reflect that. i've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, bpd, and a restrictive ed. i also struggle with self h4rm and su!cidal ideation. i have spent the last year in and out of hospitals because of my mental illnesses and am currently in treatment for my eating d!sorder and depression.

✧☾𖤓

if you think you know me in real life, no you don't. this is a safe space for me and i ask you to respect my privacy.

✧☾𖤓

𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊!

✧☾𖤓

"remember me as you loved me"

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[pierced-he4rt]

broke up with b today :( kinda bummed, but it's for the best, i think

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[pierced-he4rt]

the class i was in at college is graduating today and i'm getting all of their cute grad posts... it's like a punch to the gut to realize that should've been me but i was too mentally ill to balance school. just sucks

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[pierced-he4rt]

has anyone else had significant memory issues caused by restriction?

i used to have a great memory but since extreme restrictive periods in the last few years, my memory is utter shit. like, so bad my therapist referred me to neurology. has this happened to anyone else and/or does anyone have any tips to improve it?

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[pierced-he4rt]

crippling self loathing today. i'm such a worthless disgusting person i hate being alive

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[pierced-he4rt]

i feel so insignificant. like if i was gone it would be inconsequential or just be better for everyone

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[pierced-he4rt]

my therapist thinks i need a higher level of care. fuck my stupid loser mentally ill stuck with her parents fat disgusting worthless self

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[pierced-he4rt]

my mom decided to start the weekend by having a rough conversation.

in the tiny cabin with all of my family members in close proximity, no less. boiled down to her attacking me for struggling to get out of bed, for having online friends, and telling me to blame myself instead of her. sure, mom, i'll continue taking it out on myself like i have been for the last several years. that's gone well. i just can't have a productive conversation with her and it always ends with one or both of us in tears.

✧☾𖤓