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21 | 𝖑'𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖑 𝖉𝖚 𝖛𝖎𝖉𝖊

[pierced-he4rt]

𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔 𝖔𝖗 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗

hey, you can call me m. i'm twenty-one, totally insane, and a complete loser. i enjoy hiking, alternative fashion, painting, rock & metal music, and reading. i also love tattoos and piercings and have many.

𝖎𝖒𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖊 my faith (✝), people i love, honesty, communication

𝖙𝖆𝖑𝖐 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖙 music, books, tattoos/piercings, history, nature

✧☾𖤓

general tw for my blog. this is not a shed blog and i will not post anything explicit, but i am very mentally ill and my blog may reflect that. i've been diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, bpd, and a restrictive ed. i also struggle with self h4rm and su!cidal ideation. i have spent the last year in and out of hospitals because of my mental illnesses and am currently in treatment for my eating d!sorder and depression.

✧☾𖤓

if you think you know me in real life, no you don't. this is a safe space for me and i ask you to respect my privacy.

✧☾𖤓

𝖋𝖊𝖊𝖑 𝖋𝖗𝖊𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖙 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍 𝖒𝖊!

✧☾𖤓

"remember me as you loved me"

✧☾𖤓

[undeadfern0]

Moot Music Monday #56 - 🤝Odd Couple 🧐

We go together like…. Apple pie and cheddar cheese. It might not make sense at first, but once you try it everything changes. This week’s playlist is dedicated to your favorite unlikely collaborations

[pierced-he4rt]

wigged out when i found out that spiritbox did a collab w megan thee stallion lmao

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[pierced-he4rt]

recovery making me fat is the biggest regret i have. i've fought my body for years but being a bigger size after achieving being uw feels like a sick joke.

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[pierced-he4rt]

broke up with b today :( kinda bummed, but it's for the best, i think

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

based on how he reacted to me breaking up with him, it was probably the best choice haha

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

broke up with b today :( kinda bummed, but it's for the best, i think

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

has anyone else had significant memory issues caused by restriction?

i used to have a great memory but since extreme restrictive periods in the last few years, my memory is utter shit. like, so bad my therapist referred me to neurology. has this happened to anyone else and/or does anyone have any tips to improve it?

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

i feel so insignificant. like if i was gone it would be inconsequential or just be better for everyone

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[pierced-he4rt]

my therapist thinks i need a higher level of care. fuck my stupid loser mentally ill stuck with her parents fat disgusting worthless self

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

my mom decided to start the weekend by having a rough conversation.

in the tiny cabin with all of my family members in close proximity, no less. boiled down to her attacking me for struggling to get out of bed, for having online friends, and telling me to blame myself instead of her. sure, mom, i'll continue taking it out on myself like i have been for the last several years. that's gone well. i just can't have a productive conversation with her and it always ends with one or both of us in tears.

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

listening to one of my playlists from 2023 and reflecting on how different my life was then.

i'm sort of nostalgic for that time in my life because, although i was doing pretty awfully mentally, i was still getting shit done. i was uw and so deep in my an0rex!a and self h-rming every day yet still working and going to school, graduating in the top ten. this was the honeymoon phase with my first fp as well, when you're obsessed with each other and each other's everything. i wish i could go back to that point in my life so i could do things differently. i wouldn't want to lose that fp the way i did or end up stalling my life for treatment. i feel like i could do things better a second time around. the regret is suffocating.

all this (and more i haven't written) from a playlist. yikes m, getting a little sentimental.

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[pierced-he4rt]

my mental state is slowly getting worse and i don't know how to fix it.

si urges are pretty much always present for me, but they've been really intense and actionable lately. i relapsed with sh tonight after a few months clean. i can hardly get out of bed or do my usual routine. i don't understand why things are getting bad again. i'm on meds, i'm in therapy, i have friends and family and a boyfriend to support me. i hate being like this. at this point if i'm just going to suffer like this for the rest of my life, what's even the point of living it?

✧☾𖤓

[pierced-he4rt]

falling into a spiral of self hatred and depression.

✧☾𖤓

it's really affecting my ability to function and do stuff. reeally don't want to have to go inpatient but my family is just making it worse

[heartsick-necronym]

tagged by @puppyremains tyty

whats my fav animal?

i really love rats, cats and frogggs <3

i tag @ru1n3r @fulltime-corpse @blackdow @ and nobody else cuz i suck i dont remember my moot urlss

[ru1n3r]

hiii thank youu for tagging me :) i love those animalss

what’s my favourite animal? i love any bugs or other really tiny animals like leeches and stuff

@martyred-conquered @hollowinhollywoo idk who to tag

[sarahlynnsyndrome]

Thank you for tagging me :D

What’s my favorite animal?

I have so many tbh it’s hard to choose buuuuut I really love manatees, orcas, turtles, horses, and pigs. I also really love praying mantises and lady bugs :)

Tags: @yourangelciggyagain @mirroredangels @pierced-he4rt + anyone else who would like to join in!!

[pierced-he4rt]

thanks for the tag!

what's my favorite animal?

probably dogs, you just can't beat them ♡

tags: @yu-littleraindrops @v3hementvelvet @p0ison-thoughts @vascularcrashout + open tags

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[glowydiaries]

yay let's do a custom order drink quiz ♡

tagging: @sophiaurora @spr1ng @444tunately @fuzzy (+ you!)

[empress-azrae1-deactivated20260]

THANK YE FOR THE TAGGG ><

@l1fe1sp0ppli0 @tranen-eines-engels @vita-min-bunniii @jasper-the-alien @sassy420princess @lycorislacerations @princespousal and anyone else <33

[lycorislacerations-deactivated2]

@pudding-popped, @wildfiresockdrawer, @y0ur-valent1ne, @thescreamsofsaturn, @kamiruuruui, @mochachanpastaway, @strawberryfaerieflower, @digital-saint11, @landmine-guy, + open tags 🫧🩶

[landmine-guy]

@landmine-pushing-up-daisies + open tags!!!

[landmine-pushing-up-daisies]

had to retry bcs it kept giving me chai and i doooooooooo not fit that at all (persistance????? mEMORY?????? GIRL?????) this one fits great tho

@yandere-rat @angelic-odette @fauxjean @ableedingpromise + open tags

[ableedingpromise]

THANKS FOR TAGGING ME!!!

Ngl this doesn't sound like me either lol but still what a cute gameeee

Tagging: @him-n-hymn @midnights-wish @moonshimmers @radiohost @yuihirasawachan @yu-littleraindrops @vanilldolly @hamiboom-fan @disqualifiedhuman no pressure !!

[yu-littleraindrops]

Ooh I liked this, tysm for the tag

But I do like handwritten letters and big emotions are eugh to me. So not 100% accurate.

Tagging no pressure: @wilting-willows-wallow @emaciatedpigeon @imnotsillly @pixie-chxld @pierced-he4rt @k0kainek4tz3 @luxsmall @luckylostangel @vixendestroyzzz @vascularcrashout @bluue-banditt @bluethedeadgirl + anyone who sees this on their dash

[pierced-he4rt]

thanks for the tag eu!!

tags: @v3hementvelvet @p0ison-thoughts @hollowinhollywoo @thehotmessyexpressy + open tags

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[pierced-he4rt]

went hiking and saw a gorgeous waterfall ♡

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[pierced-he4rt]

trying this protein soda, i'm interested to see how it is!

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[pierced-he4rt]

the class i was in at college is graduating today and i'm getting all of their cute grad posts... it's like a punch to the gut to realize that should've been me but i was too mentally ill to balance school. just sucks

✧☾𖤓