#m:lk

[ouppygirlpaws]

made new account,,

this is the moon system!!

:3 plural :3 use it/she for us, and ask individual headmates for their specific preferences :3 ΔΘ, again specific to different headmates mi toki pona e toki pona ^ω^ heat from fire (tma) originally 196, but ive been here for years at this point :p

if you ask reeaaalllyyy nicely for our horny sideblog we'll probably give you it ::3

oh oh!!, profile photo taken from "wish i could care less" by mochiiniko :3

alao part of a discord server for like,,,, this corner of tumblr? mutuals message if you wanna join!! got a bunch of people (modtly transfems) ^w^ (and also once youre in feel free to add your mutuals and friends too mrrrp)

tags :3

the little tags in posts (#m:aa, #m:lk, #m:sd, #m:hc, #m:np) indicate which headmate wrote the post/reblog/reply/something :3 #yapping use this for original posts ::3 #therianposting is a thing, and more specifically #kittyposting #dragonposting #foxposting #puppyposting and proooobably other stuff in the future :3

[ouppygirlpaws]

ibe been told youre bery cool

abwaa ,,,,,,,

this may or may not be true,,,, ive been told i am biased against myself. i guess uhh,, the #foxposting tag is kinda amazing go check out our fops collection? x3 x3

hehehehe

:3

[ouppygirlpaws]

t4t (therian for therian)

[ouppygirlpaws]

bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad

feeling suicidal because i got a test back and got like 60% (around 78% after curve) and i feel stupid and useless

its not even a big deal?? its a small little test that we did?? and 80% isnt gonna kill our grade??? but now i wanna die again???? fucking hate this so much ugh im pretty sure i took meds last night actually yeah i totally did or id be feeling much worse why the fuck so i feel like this i hate feeling suicidal

i need to stop fronting soon i think probably this sucks so much and im so bad at everything this fucking sucks i wanna die like really bad that isnt good its not even a big deal it was a small test and i didnt even do that bad except no i did i did really bad i deserve pain i deserve death im going in circles im going to stop this

[ouppygirlpaws]

hihihii i love ur blog gives me the good brain chemicals and ouppy tgoughts :3

>>////////////<<

awawawa,<!!!!!

really haappiessss yaaaayyyy

we have uhm we have the specific puppyposting ttaggyy https://www.tumblr.com/ouppygirlpaws/tagged/puppyposting awawawaaa

and and the foxposting tag!!!!!!!! https://www.tumblr.com/ouppygirlpaws/tagged/foxposting i love this taggg heheheheheeee yipyip!!

and uhm,,,,, the yearny tags we have the #yearning tag awawawa

uhmmm yay thankyouthankyou >>//////<< hehehehe yipyip !!!!

[ouppygirlpaws]

been feeling really really suicidal since i started fronting (like barely three days ago)

every time i try doing even the smallest bit of work i want to cry and relapse and die, and then i realised that,,,, that's,, something i could probably do?

i could probably kill myself, just remove my me, and let my headmates do whatever. only like 3 people would notice, and i'm sure they would get over it.

most people don't even know we're a system, and waaay less than even that treat us as actual distinct sophonts.

i think i'm getting closer and closer to trying every minute that passes. i have so much work that i need to do, and what little of it i've done has taken so so so much out of me.

can i just kill myself,, that seems like such a good solution. normally it would be bad cause people would miss me, but like,,,, no ones gonna miss me. my headmates are basically just me but better. even if i am somehow magically unique, it's certainly not a good uniqueness yknow?

i don't even know why i'm writing this really,, do i want to be talked out of it? i think i'm scared of not existing, so maybe its that. do i just want to get this written down somewhere? hope my memory could stay alive? no, thats stupid. maybe just get it written down to like,, put the thoughts into words.

i should go,, i have work to do

[ouppygirlpaws]

so long, old account

[ouppygirlpaws]

i hate this house i hate this place i want to fucking die i thought i was over this i hate this.

maybe just writing everything will help a bit? i feel like im just complaining about nothing and im being a spoiled brat, and then i remember that "spoiled brat" was one of my moms favourite phrases so,,

back with family for just over a week for break and hate this. i have exactly one day where i could do what i wanted (yesterday) and now everything is scheduled like crazy. i woke up at 7am today and have been being pulled around and forced to do stuff for hours and hours and apparently tomorrow i need to wake up at 7am again

she (my mom) also wants me babysitting until way too late, im alone right now for a bit but the walls arent super thick and i have pretty good hearing i think and i can just hear her trash talking me to the toddler. i hate this place how do you say that stuff in front of a toddler and thinks its okay

im also really jetlagged (11 or 12 hours) but of course im supposed to get over that instantly.

im trying not to cry every other fucking second and i probably shouldnt relapse either but im so fucking close i cant fucking do this i hate this fuck im crying

one good thing came of this at least i guess,,

got to see friend who i havent seen in too long (met online a few years ago (live less than an hour away)) and went over (on the one day without stuff scheduled) and just hung out in her dorm room together for the whole day,,

it was really really really nice and we cuddled and snuggled and intimacy and touching and being close was kinda really scary but also was really really really nice and im really really happy it happened and that i did it,,

now im dating her which eeeeee thats so cool and im really really happy about that ><. slept overnight with her (which was so nice aa im gonna be thinking about that for so long >//<) and then left this morning (when i had to wake up 7am to meet my mother somewhere for some reason) and im smelling her on my skin and on my clothes and just feeling really happy and good memories and good feelings and im really really happy that that happened,,

im really really happy that happened at least,, and also im probably gonna associate vanilla with her forever from now on >//////<

writing here is kinda nice honestly,, maybe some people will see it? hopefully safe from irl people, mostly anonymous i think, good to just get thoughts out and like,, actually have them out? like theyre actually somewhere and not just hiding in some little folder in my computer.