uncertain
“I remember that evening,
as if it were yesterday.
Whenever it runs through my mind
like a picture show
I am reduced to a dream-like state
and my lips part slowly.
Sometimes, the recollection comes as
a mere susurrus,
other times it is a roar.
You filled the room,
while I barely filled my own seat.
your borderline obsession with what I was thinking
.miffed and excited me.
I tell myself over and over
you are full of bad intentions.
that your words are a ruse,
a charismatic dialogue to keep me on edge
and under your thumb.
the more I try to convince myself,
the more I doubt.
I am only trying to protect myself,
my pride,
my heart.
I think,
today will be the last I pay you any mind,
no more of my attention will be given
I will not waste any more precious time
on someone who does not give a damn.
I am so uncertain of myself,
and everything around me.
I no longer know what is sincere.
but still,
I find myself loving you more and more
as time goes on.
Now tell me,
how is that fair?”
m.lynn