im not sure if ime being too harsh or if i need to stand up for myself more, how many red flags should i put up with before its not worth it?
because fuck ive been in a relationship for 9 months and i like him and he like me but like lately ive been so aware of so many things like the way hes a total asshole when hes mad (but he always apologizes later) or the way i kinda feel like im walking on thin ice around him most of the time recently (but we’ve both been so stressed and i dont want to make things worse) or the trust issues (but he’s been through shit and is working on it) or the way he pushes my boundaries just a little bit more than i would like (but he always stops immediately when i say something about being uncomfortable)
and its like i have so many good memories and moments with him and i dont want to ruin that, i dont want to end that but maybe also we should take a break. maybe i should but i dont want to lose my best friend and if we broke up i know we would stop talking but also ive never been in a relationship before so maybe im romanticizing this one too much and maybe this was doomed from the start, we always knew we were on a timeline but maybe it was a shorter one than we thought
its a whole lot of maybes and the more i think about it the more sick i feel at the concept of breaking up and maybe i just need to sleep