#madd draw

[maddcactus-art]

Day 15. I wanted to draw something different from this, but... Ech, another time I guess. This is Madd. I have a complete comic about him, but since I'm a lazybones - I haven't fixed the pages yet, and never uploaded it anywhere yet. Well, I uploaded a first bunch of fixed pages here

[maddcactus-art]

Okay. I have anger issues. I am easily getting frustrated and furious. I was so angry today, so many times...

It's like I have three mood settings - neutral-everyday cactus, angsty-sad cactus and kill-and-destroy-everything-around-you cactus. And I get angry everyday, o many times, to the state of angry yelling cussing and swearing, I punch things that piss me off, I almot cry of anger... And it happens so often to the point that I can't say for sure that I wasn't angry at one day of the week. People in school and institute were legit scared of me losing it. Because when I lose it - oh boy, I can wreck the shit up. I kick metal doors open, I don't feel pain, I pick up fights with tall guys (and I'm a shortypants 5'5" compared to all these freaking skyscrapers...), I hit, break, tear, yell and everything else... And I don't care about consequences. So, everytime, I have to keep myself tight, to not lose it. I don't know what to do, because it's simple things that get me really bad. Like, if someone's being an asshole - it angers me slowly, because yeah, it's obvious that a person is just gonna get it eventually, and maybe they'll realise their mistake soon enough, so I wont have to "murder" them. Because I'm afraid I can... but little things... UGH. Like... My scanner failed me yesterday - and I had no idea why it wasnt working - there was no clear reason. I really wanted to throw it out the window, that's how angry I was. It's a stupid thing, there's no need to be so angry about it, but here I am - so mad and angry, alone in my room, yelling at the failed upload\bad internet connection\yadda-yadda-yadda problem, for the who knows which time. I guess I should know better by now, but ... I don't.

I don't know how to deal with anger differently.

[maddcactus-art]

A very late Happy Bday present to my friend. (you have no idea how late I am with this, but... < u > derp.) FBoss is trying to hit on Miller, just to make Ion (my MBoss) angry and jealous. And Matty aint having none of that. He just wants to watch his series... In peace and silence. Too bad.