19th october:
you sat by the bedside of your late dad, cuffed in metal. my heart beating so fast i thought i was going through panic attack. my legs, jelly. i was nervous, i was scared. flashbacks of you and i and of what we used to have, coming in all at once. i braced through. i thought i was strong, but i was not. i sank deep into you and reached out for your hands and kissed them. for minutes i hugged you close to me, kakak rubbed my back. i didn’t and couldn’t say anything. my tears had spoken for itself. i hope you could read me through my gestures dad. i’ve missed you.
we watched you go.












