lifelover
2hollis x fem!reader
⛧ Hollis was a piece of shit, all your friends thought so. But you couldn’t help but stay so hopelessly in love with him despite all of the red flags.
tags: dark hair!hollis, toxic!hollis, he's just kinda Sucks idk how many words to use to describe it. loser (derogatory), smut + angst, cheating, loss of virginity, oral (m + f receiving, some gagging), p in v, reader needs to stand up
warnings: drug use (weed, molly)
w/c: 8.6k
a/n: this was written by somebody that hasn’t even touched a crumb of a drug before so i apologize if anything is inaccurate lmfao its fanfic its bound to be a little unrealistic so. as usual no screenshotting/talking about this fic outside of tumblr ♡
taglist: @fatalfairie @holilove @sayitagain22 @jjscoquette @222foryou222 @tellmeimsafe @ang3l0fd3ath22 @wakeuppfilthy @aisforarii @stellalaylas @catmeowsstuff @voidatelier @2lilaclace @bloodshotbastard @hollisedd @girl2bad @luvvconceal @gnariii @warhorseweekend
It all started from a game of truth or dare between you and your best friend, Alice.
You frequently had sleepovers together. When boredom struck, you’d pass the time by doing truth or dare.
“Truth or dare.”
“Truth.” You replied.
“Who do you have a crush on right now? You can skip it if it’s no one.”
“...Skip.” You answered tentatively. You did have a crush on someone. But it was so one-sided at the moment, it didn't count. It probably shouldn't. You’d reply to his Instagram stories sometimes, but he’d do nothing but like the messages at most.
Alice’s eyes narrowed. “That was an uncertain skip. You’re hiding something, I knew it.”
“What? No.”
“You like a guy. Who is it? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Alice scooted up closer to you on your bed, giggling.
“I already know yours, it’s Ben.”
“Yeah, so tell me yours! C’mon.”
You sighed and got your phone out. Alice waited eagerly in front of you. His profile was right at the top with a new story. You clicked on it and went to his profile. You reluctantly turned your phone around and showed her.
“Him?” She exclaimed, in a slightly judgy tone. Her eyes traveled from the screen to your face. The corner of her mouth stretched.
You turned your phone back over. “I knew you’d judge me!”
“I’m not, I’m not! It’s just…if you like it, I love it.” You hit her on the leg playfully. “Hey! I didn’t say anything!” She put her hands up. “Sooo, you gonna try to get with him?”
“I wish. It’s just a pipe dream, really.” You shrugged.
“Have you tried? He doesn’t even have that many followers, he’s not a celebrity.”
“Yeah. The most I’ve gotten was a liked message.”
Alice’s eyes widened and she scoffed. “Okay, no way he’s ignoring you. You’re hot as hell. What have you been saying?”
You held your phone closer to your chest. “I don’t wanna show you.”
“Yeah, your game is definitely horrible. Give it.”
“No!” You whined, giggling when she grasped at you.
“Come on! I’m not gonna judge you, I wanna help.”
You rolled your eyes and handed the phone to her. She scrolled to your DMs, going to the one you had with Instagram user 2hollis. It was just like you said, a bunch of story replies with the occasional like. And not one good pick up line. It seemed like you weren’t even trying to be more than friends, if even that.
“Girl. You’re not even trying. What is this? ‘Nice car?’” She bursted out laughing.
“I’m not cut out for this life like you are, I can’t just go into people’s DMs telling them they're hot!”
“You literally could. What's his story now?” Alice clicked on the circle around his profile picture. It was a mirror selfie. His dark hair was slightly over his face. He had all black on, sagging with a silver belt and Supreme underwear peaking slightly. “Perfect.” She turned the phone over showing you, biting her lip.
Your eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you didn’t like him, what's that face for?”
“I’m gonna get you in there.” She began typing, a mischievous look on her face.
“Oh God, Alice at least tell me what you’re typing before you–”
“And sent.” She smirked. You grabbed the phone out of her hands to look at what she had replied to his story with.
You: you’re hot as fuck tbh
You nearly melted into the bed from embarrassment. “Alice, you’re going to get me blocked.”
“Oh stop overreacting, men love this. It’s not even that forward, I’ve said worse. You’ll thank me later when he replies.” Alice smiled, rubbing your leg in reassurance.
You sighed, smiling back. “Well, anyway. Truth or dare?”
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
You usually woke up before Alice on your sleepovers. You don’t know how she consistently slept so long when your body refused to let you wake up any later than seven in the morning.
You rolled over to where your charged phone was and looked at the screen. You did a brief scroll through your notifications half asleep, until two of them woke you right up. Hollis had liked Alice’s message that she sent for you, and finally replied for the first time. You didn’t even read it, you wanted to tell her first.
When she woke up, you grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. “He replied.” You giggled.
“Where’s my ‘thank you’?” She smirked, putting her glasses on. “What did he say?”
You unlocked your phone and looked at the DM.
2hollis: haha thanks
2hollis: you live in LA?
Your jaw dropped and you turned your phone, showing it to her. She squinted at the screen and then nodded.
“Yep. You’re in. He’s trying to act nonchalant, but he’s totally into you.”
“What do I say??”
“Uh, obviously you live in LA. Just reply! You got this. He likes you, he wouldn’t have replied if he didn’t.”
You: yeah i do :)
Alice looked at you as you typed that reply. “What’d you say?”
“I said I did.”
“Hmm, okay. Not bad. But just know, I gotta leave in a few hours so I won’t be here to review all of your responses in real time. Just be yourself.” She said, getting up from the bed and grabbing her bag to change into regular clothes.
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
Hollis didn’t reply to you until much longer. Hours went by until it was night time, and his name finally popped up on your notification screen.
You guys texted back and forth for an hour or so. You tried not to think too hard about your responses, but luckily he never seemed to be icked out by any of them.
It was all a blur, because by the end of your conversation you didn’t realize you just agreed to come over to his house sometime to hang out.
He had asked you if you smoked and you said yes. The truth was that you don’t, you’ve never touched the stuff, but you were open to trying it. You also wanted to seem cooler to him. A little white lie couldn’t hurt too much.
He had called you cute, which nearly made you run around your room. You couldn’t believe he liked you back. You couldn’t believe he was even single when he was that attractive.
A month later, you were waiting by your front window for his car to pull up. You felt nervous now, like you were making a mistake. Going to some guy’s house that you’ve only talked to on Instagram who lowkey looks like a walking red flag.
It was too late to back out because you heard his car approaching. You walked out of the front door. His car was a truck that had a slight dent in it, like another car had lightly collided with it. You saw him smile at you in the window as you walked up to the door.
When you opened it, you were immediately met with the sound of heavy metal, the smell of weed, and Hollis quickly trying to clean the seat off, as it was covered with empty bottles and a Wendy’s bag.
“Sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t do this shit earlier.” He threw the trash onto the seat in the back. “There you go.” He smiled.
You chuckled nervously and got in. You placed your feet on the part of the car floor that didn’t have stuff on it. “Hi.” You closed the door, smiling at him. You didn’t think much of the state of his car, you were too distracted by how fucking hot he was in person.
He had his necklaces on that you saw in every one of his selfies. A dangly cross earring on one side. A black shirt with a graphic of a band you didn’t know on it. Sagged pants. Some acne that you recall never noticing in his pictures, but he was still attractive with it. Even hotter, even.
“Hey.” He responded. “Sorry I took long to come, my roommates wouldn’t get the fuck out. You look good.”
You looked down at your outfit. It wasn’t anything too fancy, but you did make sure to dress a little provocatively to impress him. “Thanks. So do you.”
He kept one hand on the wheel as he drove to his house. You anxiously twiddled with your thumbs in the passenger seat, not knowing what to say really.
“I like your car.” You said after a while.
Hollis chuckled. “Thanks. It was my dad’s.”
Man, it was awkward. But to be fair, there wasn’t much to talk about right now. You tried to make conversation anyway. “Do you live with your dad?”
“I used to. I moved out to live with a couple of friends a year ago. He drove me nuts. Love him, though.”
“I get that. My mom’s barely home anyway, so it feels like I have the place to myself. But whenever she is home, you can tell. The energy immediately plummets.”
Hollis let out a hearty laugh at that. It was the first time you ever heard him truly laugh, it surprised you. “I feel you. Well, here we are.”
Hollis parked in front of his house, a seemingly one story home. You both got out of the car and you followed behind him.
He opened the door for you. It was a pretty run of the mill house, you could tell his roommates were likely all boys.
“We’ll just be in the basement. It’s my room, basically.” You followed him down the stairs.
The basement had a worn down couch, a TV with DVDs surrounding it, a computer set up with a small keyboard next to it, and a coffee table with a bong on it, an ash tray, remotes, and a candle.
You assumed he slept in whatever room the door in the back led to, because you didn’t see a bed. Another door led to what you assumed was the bathroom.
“Make yourself at home. Sorry it’s so messy, I told one of my roommates to help me clean but it doesn’t look like he did anything at all.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pursing his lips.
“It’s fine. It’s not that bad.” You smiled, sitting down on the couch after Hollis threw the plastic bag and miscellaneous clothing on it to the side. “I like your, uh, poster.” You pointed to a band poster with a bunch of cool drawings on it and tour dates.
“You know that band?” He smirked in disbelief.
“No. But it looks cool.”
He chuckled. “You’re cute. Maybe I’ll show you a song later. But uh…” He sat down next to you. “I wanna get high first.”
“Yeah, no, me too. Was wondering when you were gonna ask.” You laughed, mentally cringing at the way you were trying so hard to act like a total stoner.
“Aight, I’ll let you go first.” He stood up to grab a lighter. You mentally panicked as you didn’t exactly know what you were supposed to be doing right now.
He handed you the lighter and put a bud of weed into the bowl of the bong. You picked it up and fiddled with it, feeling his eyes burning into you the whole time.
“You don’t know how to use it, do you?”
“Was it obvious?” You grimaced.
He chuckled and grabbed it. “You’re supposed to put the light here, not there. Look.” He took the bong from you and handled it like it came natural to him. He sucked on the mouth piece and inhaled. “Just do that.” He said, pulling off.
You grabbed it from him and mimicked his movements. You couldn’t hold back your short coughing fit and he snickered. “That’s…strong.”
“Yeah? It’s good stuff. I promise.”
It didn’t take long for you to get high. You were sitting on the couch zoning out while he went to get you guys some snacks when it hit all at once.
When you guys initially texted, you mentioned a movie that you hadn’t seen before. Hollis was flabbergasted, and invited you to watch it at his house. That’s how you ended up in this situation.
“You good?” He asked, walking back into the room with a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of soda.
“Yeah.” You nodded, being broken out of your trance.
He sat down next to you and grabbed the remote to turn the movie on. “Cannot believe you’ve never seen this before.”
“Is it scary?”
He looked at your slightly worried face and smirked. “Nah. Don’t worry. Nothing that’s gonna blow your high. It’s chill.”
The night did end up pretty chill. You guys watched the movie and giggled together at the funny parts. After getting high for the first time, you understood why people do this a lot. It was fun. You were giggly and were a little touchy with him. He didn't seem to mind when you laid your head onto his shoulder.
He was touchy too. You didn’t even notice his hand on your side while practically snuggled up into him on the couch. It was kind of a lot, for a boy you’ve only met in person now. But whatever, he was the hottest guy ever and you needed the excitement in your life.
After the movie ended, Hollis put on a random show just to have in the background while you guys talked. You didn’t notice it before, but he was way closer to you now.
And his eyes kept traveling down to your lips.
He brought his hand up to put your hair behind your ear.
You looked at him in his eyes. The direct eye contact between you two and the tension that could’ve been cut with a knife was making you nervous. In a good way.
He boldly leaned in and pressed your lips together. His eyes were wide open when he pulled away, making sure he didn’t just fuck everything up.
It didn’t take long for you to lean back in, clashing your lips together. After months of crushing on him, you couldn’t believe this was real. You guys made out for what felt like hours, but it really wasn’t very long.
He pulled off and grabbed your hand, pulling you off the couch. “Come on.”
You followed him into what looked like his room. You were too distracted with continuing to make out with him on his bed to really look around and see what was in there. You couldn't tell if it was from the adrenaline or the weed, but you also weren’t freaking out at the fact that you were about to lose your virginity.
It would be fine, you thought. You were no stranger to penetration due to the toys you had at home. Your friends always raved about sex, always acting like it was the best thing ever. Now seemed like a good opportunity to find out why.
It finally hit you that this was real when you felt his erection against your stomach while he grinded against you. You put your hands on his back and felt your mind melt with his tongue in your mouth. It had been so long since you’ve done something like this, and it felt so good you wondered how you went so long without doing it again.
Hollis leaned away for a moment to take his shirt off and you had to resist the urge to audibly moan. He was so pale, but it was incredibly attractive.
You followed suit, sitting up on your elbows and taking your shirt and your bra off. Your face went red at him staring at your chest.
You went ahead and took your skirt off too, leaving you in just your panties. “Fuck, you’re hot.” He said, his hand traveling down to your crotch, rubbing you as he kissed you again.
You began playing with the belt of his pants, trying to get him in his underwear too.
Your hands caressed his boner through his boxers. He was definitely big. He moaned softly above you. You dipped your fingers in his waistband and pulled his boxers down. His cock sprung out, fully hard.
You bit your lip and started to stroke him, looking up at him shyly. You could tell he wanted you to suck him off, but you’ve never given a blowjob before. Not a successful one, at least.
Nevertheless, you put your mouth on his tip and rubbed what wasn’t in it. Hollis' hand rested on your head, staring you with his lips slightly parted.
Your eyebrows furrowed when he tapped on your head for you to get off. “Not good?” You pursed your lips, still stroking him.
“Nah, it’s good. Just lay down.”
Your heart pounded in anticipation as you watched him pull out a condom from his bedside drawer. He opened it with his teeth and slid it onto himself.
His fingers wrapped around the waistband of your panties and pulled them off. Without a word, he inched a finger inside and you gasped softly. Your eyes shut, getting shy at the fact that he was watching all of your reactions. You bit back a loud moan when he inserted another finger.
When he figured you were pretty turned on already, he took them out and got between your legs.
You took a deep breath, mentally preparing for it. When you felt the tip at your entrance you couldn’t believe how big it felt. He slowly started to push in and you whimpered loudly.
“Fuck, you’re tight.” He hissed. “You good?”
“Mmhm.” You nodded, biting your lip. It hurt just a bit. The real thing was way different than a dildo.
He put his hands on the sides of your body and started to push in more, faster than before. You gripped his left arm and couldn’t help but cry out at the stretch. “Nngh—ow.”
“You sure you’re alright?” His head turned to look you in the eye.
“Yes, keep going...” You were determined to handle it, and you did. You let out a huge breath you were holding when he was finally all inside. “You’re…really big.”
Hollis laughed breathlessly and started to move inside of you.
The uncontrollable noises you were making made you want to cover your whole face in embarrassment. But then you’d miss it all.
The view of him over you. His dark hair falling around his face. His necklace swinging everytime he moved his hips.
His cock was so deep in you. The pleasure mixed with the pain rendered you speechless. You couldn’t do anything but moan and take all of what he was giving you.
“Mm…more.” You uttered quietly.
“What’d you say?” He asked.
“More.”
Hollis started fucking you harder and faster. You heard the headboard of his bed hit the wall with each thrust. “Shit. S’fucking good.” He muttered under his breath.
He took his hand off the bed to grope your breast, playing with the bud of your nipple. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer.
You felt your orgasm approach rapidly, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach growing. Hollis seemed close too, his thrusts were getting sloppy and his moans got louder.
“I’m cumming.” You whimpered near his ear. “I’m gonna cum, oh fuck—”
Your eyes rolled back slightly as it hit you. Your back arched and your mouth hung open.
Hollis came shortly after a few hard thrusts, shooting into the condom.
He collapsed onto your chest after, exhausted. You felt your eyelids get heavy.
You remember him saying something to you. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe about how you could stay the night. You had already dozed off.
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
When you woke up, you were extremely confused until you remembered what had happened.
Hollis had tucked you into his bed. You looked over beside you, and he was sleeping soundly.
He had a digital clock in his room. 1:32 AM.
It all came back to you. You really had sex for the first time last night. You blushed remembering how you had acted in front of him.
You got up from the bed and found your clothes on the ground. You opened the door to his room very slowly, trying not to wake him up. All of your things were still on and beside the couch.
You found your phone and sent a text to Alice.
You: are you awake?
You closed your phone, pacing around the coffee table. You suddenly just wanted to get out of here. Hollis was great. You had a fun time, but you kinda just wanted to go home.
You frantically pressed the down volume button when your notification sound chimed loudly, telling you that Alice had responded.
Alice: yeah, why?
You: can you pick me up
Alice: where are you
You sent your location.
Alice: Omw girl ♡
You made sure to walk back to his room and shut the door. You took one last look at him. He was truly beautiful, the light from the moon shining in through his window onto his skin.
But you missed your bed, really. And just wanted to go home.
You walked upstairs to the front door when Alice texted that she had made it to your location.
She had a worried face as you walked to her car.
“Hey.” Alice greeted you softly.
“Hi.” You responded, putting your seatbelt on and putting your bag to the ground of the car.
“So…how was he?” She asked, starting to drive away from his house.
“A fucking dream.” You sighed. “And uh…”
“And…?”
“We did it. And it was my first time.”
Alice almost slammed the breaks when she heard you say that. “Are you serious?”
You looked at her with a guilty expression, nodding.
“Wait, so this whole time you were a virgin? I thought you just didn’t like hooking up.”
“I don’t.”
Alice scoffed. “You kinda just did. How long were you guys talking for, like a month?”
You sighed heavily. “I know, I know. I just…really like him. I do.”
“It’s okay, I’m not judging. Really. I’ve done worse in the first five hours of knowing somebody.” She chuckled. “Do you feel okay about it though? Why didn’t you stay?”
“I don’t know. Just wanted to go home. I wanted to be in my bed.” You shrugged. “And I just felt a little scared. I like him a lot but I don’t know if I was ready for the amount of awkwardness in the morning.”
“Totally get that.”
Almost home, you realized you didn’t really leave a note or anything explaining why you had left. You opened your phone and began typing a message to him.
You: im sorry, i had to leave because of a family emergency! just wanted to let you know. yesterday was amazing, thank you for inviting me
You: i really like you, hollis
You felt reluctant to say any more. It was still so early, you didn’t wanna drop a bomb and say you loved him. Your fingertips hovered above the keyboard, resisting the urge to ask him to date. You wanted it so badly, but you didn’t wanna scare him away so early.
For the rest of the ride you listened to your friend's story about a guy she got with after knowing him for five hours. Her life was way more eventful than yours, that’s for sure.
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
You knew that Hollis took time to reply sometimes. But you never expected that he would ghost you for two entire weeks.
The weird part about it was that he wasn’t active on socials either. It was like he had disappeared completely.
You sobbed into your pillow. Did it all mean nothing to him? That night felt so special to you. It was. And now he was gone, like the stereotypical guy leaving after he’d gotten what he wanted.
You cried to your friends on a joint facetime call. Alice was there, and so was your other friend Olivia.
“I don’t want to double text. I’d look so desperate. But I’m just so—”
“He’s a fucking asshole. I don’t wanna say I told you so, but any guy that looks like that is a red flag by default.” Alice shook her head and tsked.
“If it makes you feel better, my first time ghosted me too.” Olivia chimed in. “They’re all the same.”
“Ugh. I should’ve waited, really. Why did I do that?” You facepalmed. “I’m so stupid.”
“Hey, look on the bright side. You got it over with.” Alice tried to comfort you. “There’s so many other dudes out there. I could hook you up with someone new.”
You sighed and put your head in your hands. You didn’t want somebody else, you wanted Hollis. The memories of that night still played in your mind everyday.
The next day, you went with Alice and Olivia to the nearest outlet mall to cheer you up. You cherished your friends. They always pulled you out of darkness.
As you smiled and walked around with them, going in and out of stores, in the back of your mind was still him. But this distracted you for a while. Your friends bought you the cutest dress and shoes.
You sat with them in the food court. They were talking about something, and you were silently listening, not having much to add to the conversation. You people-watched, staring at the people walking by and sipping your drink.
Your heart dropped when you saw a familiar backside. The sagging pants, the black shirt, the dark hair. No way. You froze, your eyes widening.
But then, the figure turned around, and you saw a face that was very much not Hollis’. You let out a sigh of relief, but also of disappointment.
“What are you looking at?” Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow at you and looking in your direction.
“Oh, nothing.” You blinked, being sent out of your trance.
Alice looked at you knowingly. It was written all over your face. “Welp. You guys ready to go?”
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
Alice’s house was close enough for you to walk home. You had your wired earbuds in, listening to whatever your shuffled liked songs had for you. It was about dinner time, so you thought about what you were going to have when you got home.
You felt a lot better after spending time with your friends. It made you felt like you could finally move on from him. It happened. There’s nothing much to do about it now. All you can do is move forward.
You thought about taking up Alice on her offer to hook you up with someone else. After that night, you kind of understood why your friends liked doing that stuff.
You took your phone out and clicked on your photo app, looking at the pictures you and your friends took today. You were almost to your house.
When you put your phone back in your pocket and looked up, a truck was in front of your house. A very familiar looking truck. A man was leaning against it, smoking a cigarette.
Your heart skipped a beat. It was Hollis, waiting for you right outside of your house.
You walked up, your eyes full of shock staring at him. “Hollis?”
“Hey.” He smiled.
“Wh…where have you been?” You asked, louder than you intended.
“Busy.” He took a hit of his cigarette, looking down at you. His face looked the same as you remembered, but he looked tired. Like he’d been up for days.
You started blabbering what you’ve been wanting to say to him for weeks. “I’m sorry for leaving that night. And I’m sorry if my text put you off, I didn’t mean to scare you—”
“I like you too.” He interrupted.
“What…?”
He got closer to you and grabbed your cheek. He leaned in and kissed you. “Said I like you.”
Your face was red. You had craved his kiss so much, it felt like your knees were going to give out now that you finally got it again.
“Wanna get in?” He asked, pointing his head towards the truck.
“And go where?”
“Does it matter?” Your breath hitched. He got into his truck and opened the passenger door. “You coming?”
You got in with a quickness. All you wanted to do was be with him. It didn’t matter, really. You closed the door, and he drove away from your house.
The silence was deafening at first. All you could hear was the sound of the car and his radio, playing a song softly.
“So uh…how are you?”
“I’m good.”
“Why did you disappear?” You ripped the bandaid off. “I missed you…” You added, muttering under your breath.
“I had some things I had to attend to.” He blew out smoke. “I’m here now, alright? Just chill.” He parked in front of a building. “One sec. Stay here.”
You followed his request and stayed in the car. He walked up to the door, and you saw him talking to a man in the doorway.
The man quickly gave him a bag of something and waved goodbye to him. Hollis came back to the car.
“Who was that?” You asked.
“My dealer.” He answered, starting to drive again after he put the bag in his pocket.
“What did you, uh, get?”
He looked at you and smirked. “Secret. I’ll show you when we get home.”
‘When we get home?’ So he was taking you to his house. You figured that’s where you were going.
When you got to his house, his roommates weren't there again. It was just the two of you. He led you down to the basement.
“Just sit down, alright? I’ll be right back.” He set his bag down and went into his room.
You sat down on the couch. The basement was the same as you remembered it. Questions ran through your mind as you sat there in silence. You were glad that he still liked you, but was confused why he even ghosted you in the first place. When he walked back out you couldn’t help but speak up. “What is this?”
“What?”
“Well, you didn’t hit me up for two weeks. I thought you were gone for good, then you show up at my house like barely any time passed. I’m just confused.” You couldn’t get your words out without tearing up just a bit. “Do you want to be with me or not?”
“I do.” The corner of his mouth curled up. “Wouldn’t have come if I didn’t.”
You pursed your lips, looking at him with uncertainty. You sighed, and he walked closer to sit down on the couch and bring you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him.
“Now, what do you like on your pizza, usually?”
“Pepperoni.” You answered, smiling at him.
Hollis ordered the pizza and you sat there on the couch, deciding to not press the issue any further. You really were glad that he was back anyway. Maybe he would tell you sometime later.
While waiting for your pizza to come, he showed you the band on the poster that you had complimented before.
“I really like this.” You said after the song ended. “What’s the band called again?”
“Lifelover.”
“I got something for us. Give me a second.” He got up and went into his room. When he came back, he was holding a baggie of something.
“What’s that?” You asked. Looking closer, it was a bag full of small circular, colorful pills.
“You don’t know what this is?” He chuckled.
You recognized it from a TV show you had watched. “Oh, I don’t really…do that stuff—”
“C’mon, it’s not that bad. It’s just molly. You don’t wanna?”
You pursed your lips. You’ve only smoked weed once and you thought that was crazy.
“It’s not bad, I promise. Just makes you feel really good.”
Your face was still full of worry. He sighed and clicked his tongue in annoyance, and you panicked. “Wait, I’ll do it. I’ll do it.”
“Good choice.” He grinned and started opening the bag, handing you one of the pills.
“How do I know when it kicks in?” You held the pill in your hand.
“You’ll know. C’mon, let’s do it together.”
“Okay.” You giggled. It was exciting.
You both swallowed it at the same time on the count of three. “Not so bad was it?”
Forty minutes into the movie you were watching, you glanced over at him. “Woah, your pupils are huge.” You laughed dopily.
“Look who’s talking. How you feelin’?”
“I feel…happy.”
“Happy?”
You nodded, leaning into him playfully. The contact of you touching him felt electric. You fully snuggled into him.
He grabbed your chin and pulled your faces together. You audibly moaned into his mouth. Just kissing felt amazing.
You moved onto his lap and fully made out with him on the couch. His hands groped your bottom and you started to grind against him.
You felt him get hard under you. He panted when you started focusing on dry humping him through his pants.
You wanted him in your mouth again. You got down on the floor in between his knees, and started to unzip his pants. He put his hand on your head, caressing it with his thumb.
His cock sprung out, fully hard. You gave it a few strokes and smiled up at him. “Happy to see me?”
He giggled. “Maaaybe.”
“I think you are…mm—” You put your mouth on his tip, circling your tongue on it.
Hollis moaned lowly. You felt him push your head down just a bit.
The last time you did this, you were too scared to try and fit it in your mouth. This time, you let him guide you further down.
“Just swallow it, let it go down—fuuuck.”
You whined and gagged a bit. You looked up to see his mouth being parted and his hair covered parts of his face. His eyes were focused on you, currently with his dick in your throat.
You pulled off immediately when you gagged hard. A string of saliva connected you to his cock.
“You can go deeper.” He spoke softly.
“That’s the best I can do.” You trailed your tongue up and down his shaft.
“Just try it again, baby.” You let him grab the back of your head and guide it back on. Your eyes teared up just a bit, but you were determined to satisfy him. All of his reactions went immediately to your crotch.
He bucked his hips up just a bit, fitting his entire cock in your throat. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath. His head leaned back in pleasure.
You gagged again and pulled off, coughing. A tear fell down your cheek. “Was that good?”
“Yeah…wanna get up here and lay down for me?”
You obeyed him, climbing back into the couch. He laid you down and surprised you by getting in between your legs, putting them on his shoulders. He took your panties and skirt off, leaving you in just the tank top you had on.
You giggled and broke eye contact. He was staring at you and rubbing your clit with his thumb. He then leaned down and put his mouth on your pussy, immediately causing you to cry out in pleasure.
He flicked his tongue over your clit and you whined loudly, grasping at the couch behind you. You could see your own face, but it felt so warm it had to be red as ever right now.
“Look at me.” He said, muffled into your crotch.
You glanced down at him. His eyes watched how you squirmed and jolted with each lick.
Your entire body felt good. Soon though, the familiar warm feeling in your tummy began to grow rapidly. Hollis' skilled tongue didn’t stop. He moved your clit in circles with it, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
“Oh, I’m cummi—ah!” Your lower half thrashed and Hollis’ big hand rested on your stomach.
The orgasm felt ten times more intense on the drug he had given you. Your head spinned as you regained your breath laying on the couch.
Hollis couldn’t help but kiss you again. You wrapped your arms around him, smashing your lips together in ecstasy.
You felt his boner rubbing against your stomach. “Put it in me.” You whispered beside his ear.
“Yeah? You want this?” He grabbed his cock by the base, slapping it against your stomach, near your pussy but not quite yet.
“Yes, please.” You begged, looking at him with puppy eyes.
As he kissed you once more, you felt him push his cock inside of your entrance. You moaned into his mouth and wrapped your legs around him. He immediately started to thrust, fast.
“Ah fuck. Missed this, you’re so damn tight.”
In response, you squeezed around him and he groaned. It didn’t take long for him to cum, he was already so riled up. He came on your belly, and fell into your chest when he was done.
After moments of silence, only interrupted by both of your guys’ heavy breathing, you spoke up again. “Hollis?”
“Yeah?”
“Promise you won’t leave again.” Your eyes begged him. “Please.”
He gazed into yours. “As long as you promise not to leave me again.” He scooted up and caressed your hair. “Hm?”
“I won't, I'll stay.” You blurted out.
“And don’t lie to me, either.”
You swallowed, and did nothing but nod. You don’t know how, but he knew you weren’t being as honest that night when you texted him that you left. His face intimidated you slightly. It was blank, until his lips curled into a smile.
The moment was killed when suddenly a man you’ve never seen before came down into the basement. “Oh, fuck!” He yelled. You shrieked and covered yourself.
“Can you fucking knock, or something?” Hollis yelled back. “Jesus, Finn!”
The man covered his eyes and turned around. “Knock on what, why are you fucking her on the couch? Jeez, let me know when your dick isn’t out.” He went back up the stairs.
Hollis sighed in frustration and smiled when he heard you giggling beneath him. “That’s definitely not how I intended for you to meet him for the first time.”
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
Over the next few months, it was like the beginning of your relationship foreshadowed the rest of it. You wanted to believe that the way he acted so cold at the start was just random. It seemed that way at first.
Alice was pissed when you told her he had come back. She never hid her dislike for him, but tolerated his existence because you really liked him. She just didn’t want you to get hurt.
You learned a lot more about him as time went by. His roommates were similar to him; stoners that sagged their pants and listened to metal. He told you about how he grew up, how his mother wasn’t in the picture due to her passing away when he was young. He told you about his hobbies. He liked playing video games with his roommates, going on hikes in the woods, and producing music. And smoking weed along with some other drugs.
He reassured you all the time that his drug use was just recreational, nothing outside of party ones. That was true for the most part. You never really got the hype of smoking weed until you did it with him.
His behavior as a boyfriend was the most conflicting shit ever. He barely acted like one, not bothering to publicly claim you as much. But for some reason, he was still so insecure and controlling over you, constantly fearing that you were going to leave him.
One day, you had one of your many arguments because he thought the outfit you wore to come to his house while his roommates were there was too provocative.
“What are you wearing?” He had brought you downstairs to talk for a moment.
“Huh?” Your happy expression to see him quickly turned into a confused one.
“What, you gettin’ bored of me so you’re trying to fuck my roommates too?” He spat, gesturing to your outfit.
“What are you talking about Hollis?” Your eyes filled with tears almost immediately. “I wore this for you…”
He sighed and grabbed his jacket off of the floor. “Put this on, then come up.” He handed it to you, going back up the stairs.
You remember wiping your tears with the sleeve of his black jacket. He was tall, so it fit you like a dress, covering basically your entire outfit.
Your friends hated him, and it seemed like he hated them right back. That was glaringly obvious when he wouldn’t let you go out with them to a club.
“It’s just a girl’s night out…”
He sighed. “You’re always goin’ somewhere with them.” He snuggled into you, not letting you get up from the bed. “And to that club of all places…it’s full of horny dudes.”
The more you tried to convince him to let you go, the more his face fell. You hated that face. It never failed to scare you. You eventually agreed to stay home.
You texted your friends the news.
You: hey guys, i’m sorry for the late notice but my stomach is hurting real bad tonight so i dont think imma make it 😔 ill be at the next one!
Olivia: it’s ur bf again isn’t it
Alice: read my mind 💀
You sighed. They already knew. You continued the lie anyway.
You: no it’s the fact that i’ve been in and out of the bathroom for the last hour
You: sorry for that tmi but 💀 im being fr im sorry
Hollis looked at you while you were typing to your friends. “You text ‘em?”
You closed your phone and put it down. “Yeah.”
He motioned for you to lay down in his arms again. Thinking about it now, you were not really feeling that up to going tonight anyway. This wasn’t the first time he had prevented you from leaving, though. It was like he got offended by you wanting to have fun with somebody other than him.
Ironically enough, his fear that he would leave you was projection. You made the mistake of going through his phone and found out that he was texting another girl. At first you didn’t panic, thinking that maybe she was just a friend or an acquaintance he had a conversion with. But the tone in his texts didn’t lie, and neither did the nude photo she had sent him.
The look on his face when you confronted him about it angered you even more. “Do you not have anything to say? Why the fuck would you do this?”
He looked at you with a blank face. Like he wasn’t even phased about being confronted about it.
“You told me weeks ago that I was just overreacting about how she interacted with you. I guess that was a lie.” You looked closer at his blank face. The whites of his eyes were slightly red. “Are…are you high right now?”
He smiled and blew air out of his nose. He had been caught.
“God. You’re always accusing me of cheating for the dumbest fucking reasons and you do this. Unbelievable.” You picked up your bag. “I’m done, Hollis. I’m done with this.”
“No, baby, come back.” He stood up, following you as you walked quickly out of the basement and up the stairs. “I’m sorry!” You could hear a hint of laughter in his voice. It stung so bad. He was barely taking this seriously.
You turned to get one last look at him in front of the door. “What?”
“I love you. I’m sorry.”
You got a good look at his face. It was so cold, he said those words but it didn’t feel like it had any sincerity behind it. You shook your head at him and without a word, left out of the door.
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
“And then he said, ‘I love you. I’m sorry.’” You recounted the situation to Alice, who was currently pacing around your room. You were on your bed laying down, looking through one of your magazines.
“There’s no way you believe him, right?” She seemed more angry than you were.
You shrugged. It had been days since that happened and you didn’t talk to him at all or go to his house. He didn’t attempt to text you either.
“(Y/n). People who love their girlfriends don’t talk to other girls and certainly don’t receive pictures of their tits.” Alice scoffed. “You need to leave him for good. I’m serious.”
You pursed your lips. She’s right. It should be the obvious decision. But something kept you to him.
It wasn’t always bad. When your relationship was good, it was really good. Those random moments where his soft side came out with you never failed to give you butterflies. The sex was part of it as well, admittedly so. After your first time, all you wanted was more.
But the negative parts were so bad. He could be so mean sometimes. You wanted to believe he wasn’t intending to make you so sad on purpose, but the impact mattered more than the intent.
Alice noticed the way you kept glancing at your phone, like you were waiting for him to text you.
“That’s not love. Okay?” Alice sat down on the bed and grabbed your cheeks, forcing you to look at her. “Now, what color do you want me to paint your nails?”
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
You were more depressed than ever being apart from him. You really shouldn’t be, he completely disrespected your relationship and didn’t even pretend to feel an ounce of guilt in front of you. But you did miss him.
You missed his touch. Whenever you were sad, he would cuddle you and put on one of your favorite shows to cheer you up.
Now you were laying on your bed, watching that same show but without him.
Earlier, you tried to touch yourself because you were kind of pent up and just bored, but that didn’t work out because all that came through your mind was Hollis.
Him not texting you at all after you had left should’ve given you the hint. But part of you still hung on to him, as much as you hated to admit it.
You buried your face in your pillow. You had already cried so much, no tears came out.
After days of wallowing in sorrow, you vowed to get over it. He was not good for you at all. Alice was right, it wasn’t love.
⋆☽₊˚.𓋹.˚₊☾⋆
While taking a nap in your room one day, the horn of a car began to bleed into your dream. You couldn’t remember what you were dreaming about, because what awaited you when you woke up was far more distracting.
The horn kept playing outside of your dream. You rubbed your eyes, squinting at your window as you got up from your bed to see where and what it was coming from.
Lo and behold, Hollis was there. Sitting in his car. He got out of it when he saw you in the window and waved for you to come down.
You stared at him in disbelief. The sheer audacity he had was something else. He put his hand in his pockets and stared at you back.
You opened the window and yelled down. “What?”
“Come down, (y/n).”
“Why should I?” You shouted back. You noticed he was holding something behind him.
He brought his arm around, revealing a bouquet of flowers. Specifically, the exact flower you had told him was your favorite before.
You let out a sigh that pained you. You closed the window again, and walked downstairs to where he was.
He was waiting there with the bouquet with flowers still in hand. You walked up to him with your lips in a straight line.
“Missed you.” He said, a small smile creeping upon his face.
“Do you think It’s this easy?” You blurted out. His eyebrows raised. “You think I’m just gonna come back, after y-you treated me like that?” Your eyes welled with tears. You couldn’t help it, everytime you were angry you cried too.
He walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you. Your eyes widened. You didn’t do anything to get him off of you. You just stood there with your hands at your sides.
“I’m sorry, (y/n). Okay? I love you.”
“How do I know you’re telling the truth? Why would you even—” You shook your head as you looked up at him.
“That girl is nothing to me. I love you.” He rubbed the back of your head. Just like he always did. It sent a chill up your back, you didn’t know in a good or bad way. “And I’m not high this time, either.”
You couldn’t help but laugh through your tears at that.
“I just want to be with you, (y/n). Only you. Not any other girl. I was fuckin’ stupid for even entertaining her. I blocked her, I won’t do that shit again. I mean it.” He kept his eyes on you. “Will you forgive me?”
You let out a shaky sigh. You really wanted to believe him. You wanted all of the problems to just go away and go back to all of those great moments with him. You didn’t want to throw it all away.
So you believed him. You hugged him back. He kissed the top of your head. “I love you, too.” You whispered, loud enough that he could hear.
You pulled away to look at him. He was smiling down at you. He wiped the tears out of your eyes, leaned down and put his mouth on yours.
The smile he showed you before the kiss stung slightly. It felt like he just knew he had you under his finger, no matter what he did.
You were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t completely melt under his touch. You had missed it dearly.
“Get in.” He said, walking towards the car door.
You followed him without a word.
He told you that he had a reservation at one of your favorite restaurants. You were hungry anyway, so you agreed to come with him.
He promised to you that he would never do this again. As much as you wanted to believe him, deep down you knew he wasn’t gonna keep the promise.
You knew, and yet you went with him, holding onto hope that the cycle of toxicity in your relationship wouldn’t continue. Deep down you knew it probably would.