#magstxt

[mysticmagdalene]

Just put in a weeks vacay time for my birthday week. My Jesus year and it'll be about walking with Him, discernment, slow dancing with Him as I always do as I turn another year older. And finding a new location to transfer to. It's the sexiest age and no age after this will matter. I can only mourn Him after this because I've gone on without Him

[mysticmagdalene]

I hate how employed I am because I don't have time to use Tumblr like I did years ago. If I'm online it's during break at work or because I'm home sick. Seldom is there any other reason.

Telling my employer I need to drop to part time to pursue my illustrious career as a Catholic girlblogger

[mysticmagdalene]

Praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3 something at work, sometimes I'm just filled with sadness at how I've failed Him. I'm distant because I'm always tired, sick, overstressed and overworked. I vomited before even clocking in today, I just keep getting sicker and everything eats away at my time with God, the source of my happiness.

[mysticmagdalene]

And what shall I do with my days of rest? I'm always making tombs to sleep in, I'm tired, I'm tired Lord. I'm always waiting; for God, for promises, for change, for nothing. Old bones that need to rest, lively bones that need to live.

[mysticmagdalene]

I am constantly devastated at every twist and turn. Belly of the serpent slithering, jerked at the corner at the last second as we travel down it's reticulated curving, and I'm weeping with my guardian angel, I'm weeping. I'm crawling into the Side Wound and moaning for comfort. He devastates and delights me like a newborn infant, so I'll crawl inside Him. I take refuge and don't leave like a stubborn tick

[mysticmagdalene]

I felt something special would happen and I realized perhaps it would just be the blessing of being alive to share another year with God. A gift not good enough for me, a gift I have always tried to return. But in this age I feel especially close to You and far away at the same time. Everything is a path and journey, but to me almost an obstacle to get to the One I truly love. But I know my wedding garments can't be stained as I face the Bridegroom

[mysticmagdalene]

I asked God if it's okay we haven't spoken enough, I haven't shown devotion enough, I haven't loved enough. I asked Christ if I could bring my cold and deteriorating body tonight. It's not the thorns that pierce my very head, the unclean wounds the lacerations in body blood & soul. It's the ache that settled in the marrow; the bones that never crack and let all that loneliness leak out. When You cried out, I did too. I said I'm tired.

Jesus said I'll welcome you home and tuck you in, but He was at my side

[mysticmagdalene]

I cannot believe last night Holy Spirit/guardian angel? let me know I'd be in a crash, and I just resigned myself to prayer and did an Act of Contrition.

So locked in with my Divine Spouse