After several rounds Bucky decided it was time to call it a night. You were swaying in your heels and your dress had ridden up about two inches during the night leaving your thighs exposed to prying eyes. The jealousy Bucky felt from the stares of the men at the bar was through the roof and he texted Sam to come get his bike. Bucky had enough in him to know that he shouldn't be driving, let alone riding his bike. He was just thankful that Sam was awake and lived closer to the bar than the two of you did.
Fifteen minutes after the text went out he was passing the keys to Sam and helping you slide into the leather in the back of the cab he had taken to get there. Sam leaned into the open window, taking in the full picture in front of him.
You had taken your shoes off and were cuddled up into a small ball with your head resting on Bucky's shoulder. Your lips were close enough to his neck for him to feel your warm breath fanning of his flesh. A blush crept up on his face and it wasn't entirely from the alcohol.
“Take care of our girl, Barnes,” Sam said lifting his right eyebrow to make sure Bucky knew what he meant.
“Alright time for bird brain to go.” Bucky said, a slur blurring his words as he pushed Sam's face out of the window.
The driver sped off and you giggled as he took a sharp turn and you slammed into Bucky. In response Bucky threw his arm around your shoulder to steady you, his deep chuckle filled your ear. Bucky felt a flutter in his stomach and he felt himself fighting the urge to press his lips to your hair. The urge passed quickly as the cab driver took another sharp turn and Bucky's head slammed into yours with a violent crack.
“Ow.” You said in the cutest voice Bucky had ever heard. He rubbed the spot where your head collided with his causing you to suck a breath through your teeth. Then it happened, Bucky leaned down, smelling the sweet smell of your shampoo and pressed his lips to your temple.
You looked up at him through your thick lashes, a blush coloring your cheeks. Bucky felt his own face heat up. There had always been the casual, playful affection between the two of you but in the dark cab with the alcohol running through both of you, it felt different.
Bucky was about to apologize when he felt your hands wrap around his neck. Your fingers curled in his hair and you pulled his lips down to meet yours. He was lost in the soft brush of your lips, not caring about the lipstick that would surely cover his mouth. His hand ran across your shoulder, pulling you into his lap and holding you tight as the cab slowed, getting closer to his destination.
“Shit” Bucky heard you whisper as the cab pulled up to the curb in front of your apartment building. You ducked your head, not making eye contact as you slid off his lap and handed the driver money for the ride. “I'm so sorry Buck. I've got to go.” He sat in the cab with the door open long enough to watch you make your way in to the building. His eyes burned with tears and his face was heated with embarrassment.
“That was rough. Where can I take you, man?” The cab driver asked.
“I'll get out here. Thanks.” Bucky stepped out in to the cool New York air and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans and headed to the only place he would be able to collect his thoughts.
Even in the haze of your hangover you could feel the embarrassment from last nights episode. Your head was pounding and you could still feel the stubble rubbing against your lips. How could you be so incredibly stupid. Bucky was your best friend. You kept telling yourself that what you were feeling in your stomach was due to the announcement of Nat and Steve's engagement mixed with the alcohol and loneliness. That the kiss was a mistake. How were you supposed to face your best friend when you couldn't help thinking about how gentle and soft his lips had been on yours. You covered your face with the extra pillow on your bed and let out a scream that could wake the dead had it not been muffled.
You kept warring with yourself as you laid in bed. Should you call him and explain yourself? Maybe pretend like it didn't happen, act like you couldn't remember his hair tangled in your hands and his warm lips on your neck.
Then it hit you like a bolt of lightening. He had kissed you too and looked like he was more than willing to follow you up to your room before you bolted. You tried to shake the image of him standing at the edge of your bed, looking at you the way he had in the cab last night. It was far too dangerous for this early in the morning. You let out a frustrated breath and threw the covers off before willing your body in some version of a vertical position. Your first instinct was to pick up the phone and call Bucky to vent your frustration but being as he was the star of your current problem you opted to call Natasha instead.
The phone rang twice before she picked up. Her voice was alert and perky considering that it was before noon and you were completely shocked. Nat was not a morning person at all.
“Hello brat. What can I do for you this morning?” Natasha asked.
“I kissed Bucky.”
“Finally. Good for you by the way. If I wasn't in deep with the golden boy I'd be all over that. Ouch!” Nat giggled, you assumed Steve was giving her hell about what she'd just said about his best friend.
“No. Nat it is so so so bad.”
“Need me to come over?” She asked, the joking tone disappeared.
“I don't know. I just... after you left, Wanda ran in to some guy she used to work with and I guess they hit it off because she left with him and I called Bucky. He showed up. We drank.”
“I'm not hearing anything bad yet?” Nat pushed.
“Well on the way back home we kissed. It got pretty heated and then when it got to much, I ran.”
“You guys have been dancing around your feelings for years and you ran?” She all but yelled into the phone.
“WE'RE BEST FRIENDS NATASHA! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? HAVE A FANTASTIC ONE NIGHT STAND JUST TO LOSE EVERYTHING WE HAVE?” You felt the frustration melt out of your mouth. It felt good to yell, even if Nat didn't totally deserve it.
“No you giant idiot. You were supposed to fall in bed and take the night to feel the feelings you have been covering up since you were kids! Christ!”
You were silent then, thinking about what she was saying. There was dead air over the phone line and then a different voice came across the line. It was deep and sweet as honey. And honestly it was probably the voice you needed to hear when you first picked up the phone.
“Look, Bucky has been in love with you since the day you pulled up with your mom when we were teenagers. For years you were the only girl he had eyes for. Shit. It wasn't until that- that monster of a girl our senior year that I got a break about hearing his every thought about you. I don't know if he even realized it was love until the last few years. But I can promise you that's what it is. And if you feel for him in any way you need to talk to him.” Steve said confidently. “But please, you need to make sure your heart is in the right place. If you don't feel the same don't tell him you do.”
You sucked in a breath but it didn't feel like it should. It felt heavy and you choked out a quiet thanks before hanging up and putting your head between your knees. What Steve had just said to you buzzed in your head like a hornet and it felt like you couldn't catch your breath. You needed to calm down and sort out your head.
You stood up, still in your pajamas, and slipped on your sneakers before making your way to the only place you knew you would be able to sort out what you were feeling.
