#make a ship problematic

[c0ffeebee]

sometimes not just to prove a point about antis making everything sound like a crime but to also have a bit of fun i'm tempted to play a game of "send me any "pure" ship and i will come up with the reason it's actually "problematic"", i mean you can litteraly do it to ANY ship, even the fluffiest, using the anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

Aline and Helen seem a hard one to anti-logic there!

ok this one, this one right here almost broke my whole theory about every ship having at least something problematic about it if you try and imagine that

here you can't play homophobic card, can't play sexist card, or racist card, nothing, i almost gave up, BUT i found just one single ridiculous reason and there you have it:

1. shadowhunters have been breeding inside the tight circle of a few dozens of families for litteral centuries so technically all the ships between any couple of shadowhunters are incest, and helen's fairy blood doesn't help that case 

that's it, that's all i've got, but isn't it enough? xD

send me any ship and i'll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it's problematic using anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

Make a ship problematic: Klaus/Diego or Geralt/Jaskier. I can't decide :D

i say we do both! 

kliego: 

1. INCEST, IMMORAL, DISGUSTING

2. diego literally punched and smacked klaus a few times, he even threw KNIFE at him, he is so abusive

3. it's racist and sexist because it erases eudora 

4. diego didn't care that klaus was missing so he clearly doesn't care about klaus at all

5. klaus is the reason eudora is dead, how dare he be with diego after that, it's like he killed his girlfriend to take her place, ew

6. diego is so judgmental when it comes to klaus's addiction, he's so disrespectful, what a dick 

7. diego is an embodiment of toxic masculinity and klaus can be really feminine so this ship supports stereotypes about gay couples 

geraskier: 

1. ABUSE, geralt punched jaskier just after meeting him

2. geralt nearly killed jaskier with his wish, it's disgusting 

3. geralt never appreciates what jaskier is doing for him and yet jaskier gave 20 years of his life to that prick 

4. geralt is abusive not only physically but also verbally

5. he literally told jaskier to fuck off and broke his heart, how can you ship it? 

6. jaskier is a slut, he can never be loyal to geralt, he would always cheat and geralt already has some abandonment issues 

7. it's sexist because it erases yennefer 

i need to stop it hurts me to do this oh god xD

send me any ship and i'll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it's problematic using anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

Westallen from the flash for the make a ship problematic game?

oh boy, do you want people to come to my house and kill me? because that’s what they will do xD i feel really bad doing this because it’s the ship i’m actually not a fan of, so i should remind IT’S NOT AN ACTUAL HATE TOWARDS A SHIP, IT’S JUST A GAME OF “EVERYTHING IS PROBLEMATIC”, i never support ship hate even if i don’t like a ship myself, if you love it you have all the rights to do so, ship and let ship, ok, now that it’s out of the way let’s try it:

1. i mean if all the ships between tua kids and ships like jalec are incest that THIS ONE?? definitely is too, even worse these two are actually married??? 

2. iris obviously fell in love with the flash for all the heroics and not with barry, yet she magically realized her feelings for barry as soon as she knew these two are the same person which is of course awful 

3. she took all the power he had, his team is now hers, team flash is not team flash anymore, it’s team iris 

ok no, sorry, i can’t say anything further, because when i’m talking about the ships i love in that way it seems really fun to use that logic, but when i talk about something i’m not a fan of it feels like i’m actually actively sharing negativity and hating on something and i don’t want to do that, so let’s just leave it at those three reasons)) 

send me any ship and i’ll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it’s problematic using anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

apparently i'm scaring people so i'd like to remind you all that YOU CAN SHIP WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT and there's no such thing as a problematic ship because everything is problematic if you try hard enough to make it so, and it's fiction so it doesn't mean shit, my ask game is me mocking this idea of "people shouldn't ship it cause it's problematic" and the anti culture, all the love to you, my darlings, go ship some fucked up shit because it's fiction so no one cares xD

[c0ffeebee]

What about FinnPoe for the make a ship problematic thing? XD

oh god damn it, i love them so much and they are so soft, why would you, nonny? but ok, drama aside i’m going to crush it xD 

1. poe gave finn a name so it’s clear he treats him more like a pet, which is woah how dare he 

2. it’s clearly queerbaiting, so by supporting a ship like that you are basically giving big corporations like disney green light on just queerbaiting us further instead of giving the world an actual representation, as long as ships like that are popular enough, no one would risk involving a real lgbt romance in big franchises 

3. they were both clearly meant to be in love with rey until that reylo nonsense happened (god i hate myself, pretending to be an anti is HARD) so if you ship them you exclude rey and that’s just sexist 

4. again what about friendship?? why can’t two dudes be just bros? everything should be about romance somehow 

5. we never saw their parents so we can’t know for sure it’s not incest, and if we can’t know for sure, then we should be careful, just in case it is 

6. they are “bros”, and we all know that being bros means being litteral biological siblings so it is incest of course 

send me any ship and i’ll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it’s problematic using anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

what about five/vanya? 🥺 (if five hadn't disappeared they would have been so cute)

why would you make me do this, nonny, they are already getting so much shit for their sheer existence xD but sure, i mean this will be easy and i will hate myself for it lol

1. it’s both pedophilia and gerontophilia all at once because five looks like he’s 13 but he’s actually 30 years older than vanya, so it’s fucked up anyway, and we can never change their ages because canon is practically bible so you know, BAD 

2. INCEST of course, even tho not the characters, not the actors, not the creators think of it like that, but we are antis here so no smooching if you were both bought by an old evil fuck to be his experiment, smooching is gross in this case, but it is ok if a kind all fuck in a wheelchair takes you without paying to your parents for you and treats you as an actual human being, then you can even fuck whomever you want from the academy x-men school you were in since god knows how young, then it’s fine, but if you are tortured and abused by your “father”, your “mother” is a literal robot and your “siblings” are basically lab rats? then the smooching is what ruins family values (sorry i got a bit annoyed there for a second)

3. five was only in the apocalypse for all those years because vanya caused it, she basically ruined his whole life, disgusting 

4. five and delores were together for so many years and are the healthiest relationships on the show, they are practically married, and we know it’s A LOT healthier to talk to a piece of plastic and be in love with it than being in love with someone you grew up with and who was your friend, five should never cheat on his wife with vanya, cheating to a mannequin normalizes this kind of behavior in real life, do you want people to start cheating? no? then don’t ship it 

5. five and vanya are both murderers, check your priorities, you are supporting murder 

6. vanya is a strong female character so she doesn’t need a man, especially since the abuse that happened to her, she should never fall in love with a man 

7. even more so she CAN’T fall in love with a man because by the clothes she wears we can totally see she’s a lesbian, plus she’s played by a lesbian actress and we all know gay people just can’t play straight characters, they can’t play hetero romance, it’s just not believable, so vanya is of course a lesbian, why are you forcing this litteral old man in child’s body on to her??

8. five was literally ready to kill her to stop her, he wasn’t against murdering her so this means he doesn’t give a fuck 

ok, time to stop, i already feel gross oh god 

send me any ship and i’ll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it’s problematic using anti logic

[c0ffeebee]

I'm probably going to hate myself for this but what about spideypool for the anti logic thing? (oh god I hate it so much this hurts)

oh no, my beautiful babies, they have so much attention from the antis that i won’t even need to come up with anything, i just have to remember what those people are saying, ah, let’s do this

1. PEDOPHILIA, because obviously mcu peter is the only peter that exists and the only one that’s shipped with wade and before him there was no spideypool at all, oh, and he will never grow up to meet wade a lot later, he will always be 15 because that spider that bit him was also a vampire, so yeah totally pedophilia, 100%, ew 

2. wade has a crush on peter, but peter is not in love with him and yet wade is not taking no for an answer, how dare he, this is rape culture, he sexuality harassed peter on multiple occasions 

3. peter is both verbally and physically abusive towards wade

4. wade is a murderer, how can you ship a pure baby peter with someone like that? 

5. in mcu both of peter’s love interests are women of color so it’s both racist and sexist to erase them

6. wade have literally killed peter a few times, what can be more problematic than this??

ok no i can’t anymore, i’m done xD 

send me any ship and i’ll come up with probably ridiculous reasons why it’s problematic using anti logic