@makemearobot asked ❛ you deserve better than who i am right now, but i'm gonna keep trying to become someone you do deserve. ❜
his hands shake when he reaches into the tub. he knows is hands are shaking. he's watching them do it, despite how hard he clenches his jaw in an effort to make it stop. it doesn't matter – he's not concerned by it – but he knows archer will be. and that's why he wants it to stop. the tremor is a result of the medication, he swears. ben isn't sure when the last time archer left the house was. he knows archer had a wedding or something while he was gone, but that was day one. he's not sure when archer slept well was either. what he knows is that he got back from the opening in new york about five minutes ago, and he found archer sleeping in the bathtub. he knew – he KNEW he should've rescheduled. he should've told archer to come with him, he should have told the gallery to move it back a few days so he didn't have to leave archer behind. but he didn't – they talked about it– they thought it would be fine. and now his boyfriend is asleep in his bathtub. fuck. that's not what ben wanted.
"arch baby, i'm home." he whispered, crouching next to the bathtub. archer is huddled into it, like he wants the tub to be smaller, and less comfortable. somehow, ben recognizes that too. it's something he's done, huddled into a corner and falling asleep in the best position to see if anyone's coming. he's not sure what has forced him into the bathtub, or what his groggy mind wanted to achieve by huddling. but he doesn't mind. he doesn't need to know if archer can't tell him. that's fine.
"i love you." he states, like it's a lifeline. he watches archer's eyes squint open, like the sunlight streaming from the window is too much for his eyes. he pulls him out of the bathtub, grip gentle but strong. archer is easy to pull around. he's short, which has always made it a little easier. but he's also just pliable. he likes ben a lot. which does help with the whole i could toss you over my shoulder right now thing. he's so sweet, and he buries himself in ben's embrace. "i should've scheduled things better. you don't deserve this." and then archer's mumbling those soft words, and they're so sad his heart aches. god, ben should've been smarter. "no, baby, no–" he whispers, "you didn't do anything wrong." brows furrow and brown eyes lock on him. so maybe ben's not as categorically down as he usually is. but he's also kind of focused right now. so he's not thinking about it too much. "who said you weren't deserving ??" his voice is calm, despite the panic that is coiling in his chest. "i think – i think you deserve the best. and you picked me. and i love you."















