Genre: WW2/drama/angst/fluff/
Pairings: Calum Hood/Michael Clifford
Prompt: “Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since the moment we met.”
Word Count: 9k
Trigger warnings: Strong language, physical abuse, physical violence, reference to war, reference to death, references to domestic abuse, period typical racism, period typical homophobia, internalised homophobia
A/N: I have wanted to write a ww2 fic for a very long time so when the generator threw out 40s for malum I jumped on it for this event. This is just a portion of the espically long final fic I have planned. The overall piece will be posted on my AO3 account when it’s complete. I hope you all enjoy this segment enough to check it out when it’s entirely complete.
September 1940
As the train pulled into the little station, Calum let out a sigh of relief. It’d been a long journey and the train had felt too hot and stuffy. He picked up his suitcase and joined the other passengers gathering at the doors.
Once he was able to step onto the platform, Calum took a moment to compose himself. He’d spent the entire train journey trying not to think of London and his family. He already missed them all. Now that he’d arrived in Yorkshire, it was hard not to immediately identify all the differences between this sleepy rural life and the hustle and bustle of the capital city.
Before he could fully process his new surroundings, Calum noticed his Uncle Donald standing near the doorway of the waiting room. He looked so much like Calum’s dad that it almost brought tears to the 15-year-old’s eyes.
“Hello, Calum lad!” His uncle smiled as he weaved through the people filling the platform. “Give me that suitcase, let’s get you home and settled in.”
Calum gave a half-hearted smile. He was a little surprised by the friendly welcome. He’d only ever met his dad’s side of the family once before when he was very little. It was highly possible that they would be disapproving of Calum’s ‘exotic’ appearance but it seemed that those worries were unnecessary at least.
Donald took the heavy case from Calum as though it weighed nothing. A moment of sympathy flashed in his eyes as he seemingly recognized his nephew’s uncertainty. “Don’t worry, lad.” He smiled gently. “You’re welcome here for as long as this war goes on.”
His words comforted Calum a bit but he still felt severely out of place. He could only hope that he’d feel more at ease as time passed. “Thank you, sir.” He managed, trying not to show just how scared he was by this sudden change.
Donald let out a booming laugh as he clapped Calum on the shoulder. “There’ll be none of that here, boy.” He chuckled. “You can just call me Don or Uncle Don. I know we haven’t spent any real time together until now but we’re still family.”
Donald’s infectiously merry mood made Calum relax ever so slightly; he felt somewhat less nervous as he was driven through the countryside to the farm where he’d be living for the foreseeable future.
The rolling hills, quiet roads, and quaint little houses and shops were about as different to the London landscape as he could ever imagine. Despite the stark contrasts to everything Calum was familiar with, this little corner of Yorkshire seemed to have an undeniable charm of its own.
The car ride was filled with pleasant conversation, further relaxing Calum’s nerves as he got to know his uncle a bit better. He listened to various stories about his aunt and three cousins as they drove. By the time they finally pulled up at the farm, Calum was quite excited to meet the rest of his family and acquaint himself with his new home.
The farm and it’s surrounding green hills and fields looked like something from a postcard. Having seen nothing but London’s grey skyline and smoggy streets, the openness of his new home felt just as exciting as it did daunting.
“Calum!” His Aunt May grinned as she appeared in the doorway, her greying hair tied back in a neat bun so that it didn’t fall into her lightly lined face. “I hope your uncle didn’t bore you too much on the drive over here! He doesn’t know when to shut up, y’know.” She gave a tiny laugh, shooting Don a fond glance as she tottered down the path.
“I wasn’t bored at all.” Calum smiled, “I liked hearing his stories. It took my mind off everything a bit.”
May gave Calum a sympathetic smile as she wrapped him in a warm hug. “It must be quite a big change, moving all the way out here. I know you’ll settle in just fine, though. Your cousins are excited to show you around once you’re all unpacked.”
Don pecked a kiss to his wife’s cheek before grabbing Calum’s suitcase and heading towards the house.
“Come on, love,” May muttered hastily ushering Calum towards the house as well. “Let's get you settled in.”
***
After meeting his cousins; Elaine, Wendy and Matthew, Calum had joined the family for a delicious lunch before his uncle had insisted that he come out and meet some of the other people that work for them.
Elaine had accompanied them for the tour of the grounds and her father had made a passing joke about someone named Ashton, who Calum could only assume Elaine had taken a fancy to.
It was late in the afternoon when Calum finally met the elusive Ashton. He’d been out plowing a field for most of the day, according to one of the older farmhands, whose name Calum had already forgotten.
Calum’s suspicions about his eldest cousin’s attractions to this boy were confirmed by her suddenly shy demeanor as Ashton trudged towards them. It wasn’t surprising that a sixteen-year-old girl would be attracted to someone like this. He was tall with broad shoulders and a very handsome face. He turned out to be very friendly as well. Offering to show Calum around the local village now that he’d finished his work for the day.
Don approved of the suggestion, seemingly happy for Calum to become friends with one of his favourite workers.
Whilst Ashton got cleaned up, Calum spent a little time with the farm dogs. He’d never been able to have a pet of his own back in London, so it was nice to know he’d get the experience here. Elaine stayed with him, opting to be some silent company as he tried to soak in his new surroundings.
Once Ashton was ready he led the way into the village using a shortcut across the field. “I’d like to introduce you to a couple of my best friends, if you’re up for it.” The older boy said cheerfully. “I think you’ll like them a lot. They’re a bit stupid sometimes, but you’ll get used to them!”
In the back of his mind, Calum thought that Ashton hadn’t known him for nearly long enough to know what or who he’d like, but the farmhand had a cheerful and sweet nature that it made it difficult not to trust his judgment. “Even stupid friends would be better than what I had back home.” He replied with a humourless laugh. “No one seemed to want to know me, let alone be my friend so…”
An annoyed expression crossed Ashton’s handsome face for a moment. “Well, people like that aren’t worth knowing, anyway!” He huffed. “I hope you’ll have better luck here.”
It didn’t take long to reach the village. Just like the farm, the village was picturesque. Calum was sort of bemused by how quiet and lazy it all seemed. Everywhere you turned in London, there were signs that a war was happening; posters on the walls, soldiers, wreckages left behind by bombs… Here, the only indications that World War 2 was in progress were the headlines of the newspapers on display in the shops and the ration coupons in people’s hands.
“I bet this is all strange to you, huh?” Ashton asked as he took in the bemused expression on Calum’s face. “I’m sure it’ll feel a bit more like home later, when the spitfires take off from the airbase.”
Such a comment could easily be perceived as insensitive, but yet again Ashton’s natural charm made it impossible to think he could ever actually mean to sound that way.
As they made their way along the quiet streets, Calum noticed the odd person staring at him. It wasn’t an unfamiliar experience but it wasn’t what he needed right now. He slumped his shoulders, trying to make himself small enough that Ashton could hide him from unfriendly eyes.
Unfortunately, the older boy didn’t seem to notice that anything was happening, he was too busy droning on about the nearby airbase and the fighter planes that it was currently home to.
“Hi, Ash!” A cheerful voice echoed through the fog filling Calum’s mind. “Are you free to spend some time with me and Mike tonight or are you busy with Jane again?”
The voice belonged to a lanky blonde boy with pretty blue eyes. He wiggled his eyebrows cheekily at Ashton before turning his attention to Calum. “Oh hello! You must be Farmer Hood’s nephew. I’m Luke Hemmings, Ashton's best and most handsome friend.”
Calum shook the newcomer’s hand, taking heart in his friendly tone and the lack of suspicion in his eyes. He introduced himself nervously, feeling the need to impress Ashton’s friends if he wants to have any chance of calling them his own friends one day.
“Come on, Michael will be finishing his shift in the shop in a minute, I suppose you should meet him really,” Luke smirked, wrapping a pale skinny arm around Calum’s shoulders. “We tried to get rid of him but he just keeps clinging on to us, doesn’t he, Ash?”
Ashton rolled his eyes. “Don’t be mean, Luke!” He reprimanded. “Michael’s a hell of a lot less annoying than you most of the time.”
Calum couldn’t help but laugh at their friendly banter. He’d never had this sort of friendship with anyone and he could only hope that these boys would finally give him that chance.
The little group of boys made their way past the village green on to the main street. Luke and Ashton continued to offer friendly and fun conversation which successfully distracted Calum from any lingering glances from passersby.
“Ah, he’s already finished for the day!” Luke grinned as they neared the little grocery store.
Calum followed Luke’s gaze to a boy standing next to the entrance to the shop. He was a little bit taller than Calum with dark blonde hair and pale skin. When he glanced up from the ground to greet his friends, Calum felt his breath catch in his throat. This had to be the most beautiful person he’d ever seen in his life.
Michael smiled, waving at his friends as he pushed away from the wall and made his way over to them. “Afternoon, idiots.” He giggled, nudging Luke in the shoulder and earning himself a hair ruffle from Ashton. When his gaze met Calum's, his cheeks turned a pale pink and his eyes seemed to sparkle with some emotion that Calum couldn’t quite place. He seemed suddenly shy which judging by the confused expressions on Luke and Ashton’s faces, was pretty out of character for their friend.
“I’m Michael.” The blonde smiled bashfully, awkwardly offering him a hand to shake.
Calum shook it, trying to hide his own nerves. This was absolutely the last thing he needed right now. He was already going to find it hard to fit in here, his skin colour made sure of that. What he absolutely didn’t want, was these forbidden feelings toward another boy. He’d had them once or twice before, a little spark of attraction for a boy or man he’d pass in the street, but never like this, never to the extent where he was suddenly so aware of how hard his heart was beating that he was sure it could burst right out of his chest.
He had to find a way to control this, he wanted to be normal and fit in. Calum just wanted to make friends, he absolutely didn’t want to end up like the milkman’s son back in London. He shivered at the memory of how his whole street had gossiped about how young Tommy had been caught kissing another boy. He’d been disowned by his family after that and Calum hadn’t heard anything of him since. There’s no way he wanted to end up like that; he had to get his act together.
***
The news that Jane had broken up with Ashton and started seeing a fighter pilot from the nearby airbase, had spread quickly through the village. It made an already difficult situation even more horrid for Ashton. He couldn’t leave his house without people whispering behind their hands to each other or offering him sympathetic glances that he didn’t want.
Calum had been the one to suggest getting out of the village, riding their bikes out into the countryside and taking a little picnic. He’d asked his aunt and uncle for some spare food from the farm and a little day trip was quickly arranged.
On the chosen day, Michael, Luke and Ashton headed up to the farm to collect Calum en-route to the spot they always used to go as kids.
When they arrived, Mrs Hood met them at the door, informing them that Calum had to help her husband mend a fence that morning, so he was running a little bit late.
She offered them some bread and cheese for their little trip and helped Ashton and Luke pack it into their bags.
They sat at the table for a little while before Mrs. Hood suggested that one of the boys go and see if Calum’s almost ready.
Michael volunteered, trying not to sound too eager. He’d gotten a lot of practice at that lately, although the slightly perplexed look on Calum’s aunt’s face told him that he probably needed a little more.
He was already halfway up the stairs before he realized that he had no idea which bedroom was Calum’s. In fact, he’d never been to this floor of the farmhouse before. Most of his visits here were to meet Ashton, therefore he’d had very few reasons to enter the house at all.
There were several doors leading off the landing, all but one of them were closed. The open door led to the bathroom; Michael could tell by the garish green wall tiles visible through the gap.
It was entirely possible that one of the Hood girls or Matthew were in their own rooms so Michael didn’t want to be a pest and knock on all of the doors. Instead, he called out Calum’s name, not too loudly but clear enough that someone in any of the rooms would hear him.
It only took a second for the closest door to open, revealing a smiling and half-naked Calum. “Michael!” He greeted, opening his bedroom door a little wider. “Sorry I’m running a bit late, I had to help Uncle Don fix a fence out in one of the fields. Come in for a minute, I just need to grab a clean shirt.”
It took Michael a moment or two to work up the courage to follow Calum into his bedroom. It felt sort of naughty and forbidden to be alone with someone he had these feelings for. He’d never dream of acting on them of course, but it still felt like he shouldn’t be there, especially when Calum was topless, unwittingly showing Michael his muscly chest and arms.
As strange as it felt to be alone with Calum in his room, Michael supposed that standing out on the landing would be fairly suspicious and so he finally forced his legs to move and follow Calum into the bedroom.
Even though the slightly younger boy had only inhabited this room for a few weeks, he’d already made it very much his own. Sure, the walls were still a neutral cream colour but Calum had filled them with postcards, pictures and photographs. Most of them were black and white, of course, but they still added a distinct character to the room.
To try and distract himself from looking at Calum’s body, Michael drifted over to examine a little cluster of postcards pinned up near the younger boy’s bed. They each depicted a different London landmark and Michael found himself staring at them dreamily.
“They remind me of home.” Calum said, breaking the silence as he joined Michael in looking at the postcards. “I know it’s probably quite childish to get homesick but I sort of miss London, even now when it’s so dangerous.”
“I don’t think it’s childish.” Michael reassured his friend. “I think it’s perfectly natural to miss home and your family. Especially when your home is somewhere as exciting as London!” He kept his gaze on the postcards, still not daring to look at Calum.
“When the war’s over and I move back there, you should come to visit!” Calum offered excitedly. “I’ll show you all the sights and take you to the best places to eat!”
Michael smiled as he finally forced himself to meet Calum’s gaze. “Would you take me see Buckingham Palace?” He asked, unsurprised at how shy he sounded all of a sudden. “I bet it’s so beautiful!”
Calum nodded. “Of course, what kind of tour guide would I be if I didn’t take you there?”
Shrugging, Michael moved his gaze to a little framed photograph on Calum’s dresser. “Is that your family?” He asked, berating himself for asking such a stupid question.
Calum followed his gaze. “Yeah, it was taken a few years back. I’m the podgy kid right there.” He giggled pointing at the little boy in the picture. “That’s my older sister, Mali. She joined the WAAF last year, even though women don’t have to sign up, she wanted to do her bit.” His voice sounded a bit sad and Michael wondered what it must be like to have a sibling that you’re so close to. He’d thought about it before when Luke talked about his brothers, but Ben and Jack had always teased their younger sibling, and Michael had never quite understood their bond with Luke. Calum’s and Mali’s relationship seemed very different from the Hemmings siblings. In the few stories Calum had mentioned his sister in, he’d said her name so fondly, like he was describing his best friend.
***
As the little group of friends rode out of the village, Michael was pleased to see some of the tension slip from his eldest friend’s face. He could only hope that he’d see a smile there by the end of the day.
The further they got from the village the more relaxed Ashton became, although the weight of his troubles was clear by the dark circles under his eyes and his slightly more prominent cheekbones from where he’d lost weight from his face.
They rode their bikes for over an hour until they reached a pretty little spot near to a brook. Michael, Luke, and Ashton had come to this spot many times growing up, racing sticks under the nearby rickety bridge, and paddling in the clear water.
It was clear by the look of wonder on Calum’s face, though, that the city boy had never really had anywhere like this to play.
Michael couldn’t quite bring himself to look away from his new friend as they parked up their bikes next to the bridge and started to unpack the food. He had grown to like Calum very quickly. Their friendship had seemed to blossom more and more with every day they spent together.
Calum was extremely interesting; his stories about London and general city life captivated Michael for hours on end, but he knew deep down that it wasn’t just his curiosity about places he’d never visited before that made Calum appealing to him. The way that the slightly younger boy’s face would creep into his mind when he was alone in bed was enough to let Michael know that he was attracted to Calum in ways that he shouldn’t be.
Even though he knew he’d have to find a way to get past his feelings, Michael found it incredibly difficult, especially on days like today when Calum looked so beautiful.
As Ashton and Luke laid out the picnic, Michael kicked off his shoes and gestured for Calum to do the same. “Come on, the water’s always so nice and cool!” He giggled as he stepped into the shallow brook.
Calum smiled wistfully as he took off his own shoes and followed his friend into the water. He gasped slightly at the change in temperature and Michael giggled to hide the spark of interest that ignited in the pit of his stomach.
“So you all come out here a lot then?” Calum asked, aiming his question primarily at Michael seeing as he was the closest. “I would have practically lived out here when I was a kid if I’d grown up here.”
Michael nodded. “We used to come out here at least once a week during the summer. Our parents used to bring us here when we were little so we’ve always known the way. It’s a popular picnic spot.”
Calum listened intently to various stories that Michael recounted of visiting this spot as a kid and he had to try not to melt every time Calum laughed or even grinned at something he said.
Once Ashton and Luke had the picnic all set up, they shouted for the two boys to join them.
As they all settled down together, Michael tried to concentrate on what Luke was saying about the letters his parents had received from his brothers. Having been friends with Luke for almost as long as he can remember, Michael was obviously invested in the older Hemmings’ brothers safety. Ben and Jack meant a whole lot to Luke and by extension, Michael, too. He couldn’t quite get Calum out of his brain, though. He pretended to be extremely interested in a shiny stone he’d scooped up from the brook, turning it over and over in his hands whilst he focused on the bare skin of Calum’s crossed legs, poking out from beneath his shorts. He was only a couple of months younger than Michael, which meant he wasn’t far off turning 16. Puberty was obviously being much kinder to Calum than it was to Michaael. The slightly older boy had gotten nothing but acne and a messy smattering of blonde hair over his legs, chest and under his arms, whereas Calum had experienced none of that. He was starting to get broader and stronger. Sure, the farm work he’d been doing would have helped with that but his face was getting less soft and his features were becoming more defined. It was easy for Michael to see flashes of the man Calum was destined to become and he couldn’t shake the image from his mind, no matter how hard he tried.
“... And Jack’s still seeing that girl so mum is convinced they’ll get engaged soon.” Luke mumbled around a mouthful of bread and cheese.
Ashton dropped his gaze miserably and Calum swatted the youngest friend across his arm for being so mindless.
It took a moment for Luke to realise what he’d done to earn such a punishment. When it hit, though, he looked truly shaken by his own stupidity. “Oh, I’m sorry, Ash… I-”
“It’s okay.” Ashton shrugged, although his deflated posture and miserable expression said otherwise. “I’m pleased for Jack, I really am.”
The other three boys exchanged a desperate look, hoping that someone could save the situation. Before any of them could come up with anything, Ashton let out a tiny laugh. “You boys are stupid as hell, all three of you.” Despite his harsh words, there was a fondness in his tone that was absolutely undeniable. He confirmed his love for friends by adding “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
November 1940
Michael’s 16th birthday had been pretty uneventful so far.
His dad had been his usual, miserable, hungover self at breakfast, barely acknowledging his son, let alone wishing him a happy birthday. His mum had knitted him a new jumper, green to bring out the colour in his eyes.
Mr Robertson had been particularly nice to him, offering him a longer lunch break, which he’d spent with Calum since he’d timed his delivery perfectly. That had been the highlight of his day so far, huddled in the back room of the shop eating a slice of cake that Calum’s aunt had baked. They’d made fun of Ashton still being oblivious to Elaine’s affections for him and confirmed their plan for a little celebration at Ashton’s house in the evening.
The afternoon had passed pretty quickly after that and before he knew it, Michael was heading home. He needed to pack an overnight bag since he was staying over at Ashton’s later. His mum worked as a barmaid at the village pub so the boys would have the house to themselves and they wanted to enjoy that rare freedom as fully as possible. Therefore they’d all planned to stay there for the night.
Michael packed some of his warmest clothes and headed out, only sparing a moment to kiss his mother goodbye and scratch Sammy behind the ear before disappearing out into the chilly evening.
Ashton and Calum had convinced Farmer Hood to let them leave work a little early for the occasion, promising to make up the hour by working over for the rest of the week. Michael was incredibly grateful to them and Luke, feeling an almost overwhelming fondness for them as he jogged towards their meeting place.
Sure enough, all three boys were huddled together at the far end of the village green, waiting for him. They smiled as he approached, each of them ruffling his hair or punching his shoulder playfully as soon as he reached them.
“Are you ready for your little birthday party?” Ashton asked cheerfully as he led the way to his house.
Michael nodded enthusiastically drawing a chuckle from each of his friends.
“We clubbed together to get you a little something.” Luke announced, earning himself a nudge from Calum.
“It was meant to be a surprise, Luke!” He huffed irritably. “He was meant to think we hadn’t brought him anything!” In the dying light, Michael managed to hide his fond gaze from Calum beneath the wooly hat Mr Robertson had gifted to him earlier. His feelings for the slightly younger boy seemed to grow more by the day and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could conceal them successfully.
When they reached Ashton’s house, Michael kicked off his shoes and followed his friends into the little kitchen. “Mum had been cooking before she left for work so it’s quite warm in here.” Ashton said, taking a seat at the table that had already been filled with some special treats.
“I hope you like apple pie.” Calum laughed. “My aunt insisted on making one of you.”
“Well whatever he doesn’t eat, I’ll make sure it doesn’t get wasted!” Luke giggled loudly as he slipped into the seat next to Ashton.
***
After they’d eaten, Luke, Calum and Ashton presented Michael with a little bundle of gifts which included a small bar of chocolate, socks and a shiny new bell for his bike. He couldn’t find the right words to thank them, knowing that none of them had much money and the fact that they’d spent any of it on him made his heart feel so full.
They spent a little while talking in Ashton’s kitchen until Luke suggested playing some parlour games. The youngest friend had always been terrible at charades and ‘who am I?’, so unsurprisingly the brief games descended into fits of giggles in a matter of a few minutes.
After a few failed attempts at completing a game, Calum finally declared it hopeless and curled up next to the fire instead. His lips were still curved in a pretty smile as he patted the spot next to him. Michael knew that his friend could be indicating to any of the other boys to sit next to him but the birthday boy chose to believe that the gesture was for him.
Luke and Ashton probably didn’t even notice the way Calum’s eyes sparkled in the firelight, or the way that a muscle twitches in his jaw when he’s nervous or tense. They were all things that Michael shouldn’t be noticing either but little ‘Calum’ things like that occupied his brain more than he cared to mention.
“Okay, so I’m just gonna say it…” Luke announced as he dropped to the ground next to Michael.
The blonde’s stomach lurched as he realised he was staring at Calum. Luke had obviously noticed and now his birthday was destined to be the worst day of his life because the three most important people in the world to him were going to hate him...
“I know I’m not the only one that’s noticed, but you two are hopeless so I’m going to be the one to get it out in the open.” Luke continued, pointing an accusing finger at Michael and then Calum.
Michael’s brain wouldn’t work fast enough. He needed to shut Luke down, if he put into words, what Michael knew in his heart, it’d all be over. His brain wouldn’t work though, his mouth felt dry and no words would force themselves from his throat.
“Elaine has been all over Ashton since forever, and it’s been long enough since Jane now.” The youngest friend shrugged, turning his attention to Ashton who seemed to have been silently bracing himself for this conversation.
Michael felt his body relax as he let out a steady breath. He’d never felt so relieved to have the subject of Ashton’s love life brought up before.
The eldest friend sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose and furrowing his eyebrows as though he was trying to block out Luke’s words. “She’s not interested in me, Luke.” He said. “Elaine could have pretty much whoever she wants, why would she even look twice at me?”
“Because she’s been in love with you since she was a little kid.” Calum chuckled. “I’ve only been here for a few months and even I’ve picked up on that.”
Michael was momentarily distracted by the beautiful sound of Calum’s laugh but he managed to bring his focus back to the conversation to add a simple comment. “Calum’s right, Elaine has always had eyes for you, Ash. You’re the only one that’s never noticed.”
The brunette boy slumped back, propping himself up in his panic elbows. “You’re just saying that because you think I need a girlfriend…” Ashton huffed, although his eyes had started to glaze over a little like he was daydreaming.
Smirking knowingly, Luke nudged his friend’s shoulder. “We wouldn’t lie to you, Ashy boy.” He insisted. “You’re just wasting time by convincing yourself that she doesn’t want you. You could be using that time to woo her.”
Michael could tell that Ashton was thinking about it carefully. He obviously thought Elaine was pretty and they’d always had a lot in common, it seemed crazy that they weren’t already an item.
“I don’t know…” Ashton sighed, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “After Jane, I just-”
“Forget her!” Calum scoffed, reaching over to nuge Ashton’s leg. “She was never right for you and you shouldn’t let her ruin your chances with Elaine. You have a chance to be happy with someone who really likes you, Ash.” He explained, his expression and tone serious enough to pull everyone’s full attention.
Ashton dropped his gaze, curling in on himself a bit. He seemed to get lost in his own thoughts for a long moment, during which everyone else stayed silent, giving him the time he needed to process his feelings.
Michael watched his eldest friend for a moment, but he could feel Calum’s gaze burning a hole into the side of his face. His heart seemed to beat out a hard rhythm in his chest as he summoned the courage to meet Calum’s eyes. The slightly younger boy’s expression had softened a little bit, but there was something burning deep in his eyes that Michael couldn’t ignore. It would have been impossible to explain to anyone else, but Michael just knew that the ‘something’ was a hidden meaning in the speech he’d just given to Ashton. In that moment, Michael realised that his friend’s words were not only meant to give their older friend the courage to finally ask out Elaine, but also to let Michael know that he also had the chance to be with someone who really liked him.
***
A couple of hours later, Ashton and Luke claimed the eldest friend’s bed for themselves, falling asleep almost immediately after snuggling into the warm blankets.
Even though their evening had been filled with a lot more fun after they’d convinced Ashton to go for it with Elaine, Michael’s mind had been constantly working over Calum’s ‘hidden message’ to him. He was convinced that’s what it'd been and his head was spinning from it.
His mind was racing too much to sleep and so he’d started a whispered rambling conversation with Calum about how he wanted to learn to make things for his loved ones for Christmas. “... I'm not really good at anything, though.” He sighed. “I guess I’ll just have to buy everyone something.”
Calum let out a quiet giggle as he snuggled further into his blankets. “I’ll settle for a promise that you’ll carry on being my friend.”
The room was pretty dark but Calum was lying close enough that Michael could make out the younger boy’s sad eyes, despite the faint smile that was still curving the corners of his lips. “Why would I ever stop being your friend?” He asked in a hushed voice, shuffling a bit closer to Calum.
Calum shrugged his shoulders. “I’ve just never really had friends like you, Luke and Ashton before.” He replied. “You're the first people who’ve ever really given me the time of day, besides my family.”
A frown creased Michael’s face as he automatically reached out to his friend under the blankets, curling his fingers gently around Calum’s lower arm. “Why on earth wouldn’t people give you their time?” He asked, genuinely confused as to how anyone couldn’t be instantly in love with Calum when they met him. “You’re one of the funniest, kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met. I feel like you’ve been my friend for as long as Ash and Luke have.”
A little of the worry that had been etched into Calum’s handsome features disappeared at Michael’s words and his smile looked a little more natural now. “Really?” He asked, his voice barely a while as he covered Michael’s hand with his own. “Most people just see the colour of my skin and automatically assume I’m nothing like them before running in the opposite direction.”
Two opposing but equally powerful feelings erupted inside Michael at once. Nervous but excited butterflies burst into life in his tummy at the feeling of Calum’s fingers curling around his hand, yet a searing anger burned in his chest at the thought of anyone disrespecting Calum because of the colour of his skin. “Well that’s their loss.” Michael whispered, shuffling closer to Calum so that he could pull him into a hug. “I wouldn’t change one bit of you.”
Calum let out a relieved chuckle as he nestled into the hug. Michael tried to enjoy the close physical connection without worrying too much about how he should not be feeling those butterflies in his tummy.
“You’re a good friend, Mike.” Calum whispered. His breath ghosted over Michael’s cheek as he spoke but the slightly older boy managed to control the shiver it caused. “It’s been a difficult few weeks with the bombings in London, it’s like I’m constantly worried I’ll get letter saying that my mum’s been injured or worse…”
Michael stroked Calum’s back in what he hoped was a soothing gesture. He couldn’t imagine how scared his friend must be at the moment. The blitz was rumbling on, wreaking havoc in most of Britain’s major cities but London was by far bearing the worst of it. “I really hope the air strikes stop soon.” Michael uttered, not really knowing what else he could say. “You know I’m always here if you need to talk or anything.”
Tightening his hold around Michael, Calum places a kiss on the pale boy’s cheek before pulling back a little. “I know, and I appreciate it a lot.” He replied. “I’m always here for you too, Mike.”
The younger boy closed his eyes and Michael could just make out a faint smile on his lips as he whispered goodnight. Michael couldn’t help but notice that Calum didn’t remove his arm that was draped over him, it made the blonde boy melt a little, he loved being this close to Calum. He knew that he shouldn’t live it, he shouldn’t feel this excitement bubbling inside of him and his skin shouldn’t tingle whenever his newest friend made physical contact with him. Michael was sure he was getting quite good at hiding all of that but right here and now, I’m the darkness of Ashton’s bedroom, he allowed those feelings to flow freely through him.
January 1941
The papers were saying it was the worst snowfall since 1888. Life in the village had all but ground to halt because of it.
Calum shouldn’t have been surprised, of course. He’d been looking forward to a little birthday get together with his friends since Christmas had been sort of a write-off. Michael had been forced to stay home to play happy families with his alcoholic father whilst Luke had been carted off to visit his grandparents for the festive season. Luckily, Ashton had still been around, in fact he’d spent a fair bit of his spare time at the farm since Luke had called him out about his feelings for Elaine. Calum wasn’t complaining, he liked spending time with Ashton, even when he wasn’t the main reason for the older boy’s presence.
Despite his increased interest in Elaine, Ashton still hadn’t actually asked her out yet and it was starting to get tedious. As much Calum enjoyed his friend staying behind after work and visiting on Sundays, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand the blatant flirting and almost confessions. If something didn’t give soon, Calum was going to have to take matters into his own hands.
Not today, though. January 25th was Calum’s day. His first birthday since moving to Yorkshire and he was determined to enjoy every second of it, even if the weather had decided to betray him.
He’d enjoyed a nice day so far, his aunt and uncle had treated him just as they did their own children on their birthdays. They’d given him a nice breakfast and some little gifts before assuring him that Don and Elaine could manage feeding all the animals on their own for one day.
Having been given the day off, Calum spent his time preparing for the little gathering he’d planned with his friends. Wendy helped him clean the parlour whilst Mrs Hood made what party food she could from the farm’s leftovers.
All in all, Calum couldn’t really be happier given the circumstances of his 16th birthday. He’d already received letters and gifts from both of his parents and his sister so he was in generally high spirits.
As the time that his friends should have arrived came and went, Calum’s good mood faltered. He knew the bad weather meant that it might take them longer to get to the farm but he never once thought that it would deter them altogether.
Around an hour after his friends were due to arrive, Wendy and Elaine came into the parlour with sympathetic looks on their faces as they invited him to join them in the main sitting room. “We can play board games!” The youngest girl chimed, gripping Calum’s hand and gesturing towards the door.
Calum tried to smile but his heart felt heavy. He’d been looking forward to tonight all week. As much as he loved the company of his family, there was nothing he enjoyed more than spending time with his friends. “That sounds nice.” He replied, forcing himself to stand up. “We should probably eat all of this food your mum made too…”
Wendy nodded excitedly grabbing a plate of the little cakes she’d helped to make earlier in the day. A tiny giggle escaped Calum as he picked up a couple more of the plates. Elaine gave his arm a sympathetic squeeze before she followed his lead and gathered up the rest of the food laying on the coffee table.
The little group hadn’t quite made it out of the room before the doorbell rang. Calum almost dropped the plates he was holding in his newly ignited excitement.
Elaine laughed as she placed the food she’d been holding back on the table before heading off to answer the door. Calum did the same, following his cousin like an excited puppy.
When he reached the hallway, his heart felt suddenly ten times happier as his eyes landed in a very windswept and cold looking Michael.
“You made it!” Calum exclaimed. “I was worried you’d all forgotten or something.”
Michael gave his friend an apologetic smile as he shuffled out of his coat and pulled off his gloves, scarf and hat before hanging them up on the hooks near the front door. “We’d never forget your birthday!” He assured Calum. “I’m sorry it’s only me that was able to make it here, though.” His green eyes looked suddenly very sad and Calum had an overwhelming urge to do whatever it might take to make them shine happily again. “Ashton’s grandparents arrived for impromptu visit and Luke’s come down with a really bad cold so…”
“That’s okay!” Calum cut in. Even though he was disappointed by Ashton’s and Luke’s absence, having Michael there on his birthday meant the most to him. He’d developed a deep bond with the blonde boy in the few short months since he’d moved to the farm. They shared a lot of the same interests and since their little heart-to-heart on Michael’s birthday, their friendship had only blossomed further. “We have food in the parlour and aunt May lit the fire in there for us too!”
Michael’s smile became softer and more genuine as he followed Calum to the parlour. “Ash and Luke are really sorry they couldn’t make it, they’ve sent presents and told me to wish you a happy birthday from them.”
“Ah they didn’t have to do any of that!” Calum insisted, closing the parlour door before gesturing for Michael to take a seat.
The blonde dropped into one of the cushioned chairs before holding out a little paper bag that Calum hadn’t even noticed his friend had been carrying.
“I’ll look at them later.” Calum said, setting the bag down near the coffee table, “let’s eat first! I’m starving!”
Michael giggled, his emerald eyes sparkling prettily as he nodded. “Me too! It took me so much longer to walk here through all of that snow!”
Calum patted his friend’s arm affectionately before handing him a sandwich. “Here eat this!”
Accepting the sandwich gratefully, Michael took a bite. “Your aunt makes the best sandwiches.” He mumbled as soon as he swallowed.
Calum couldn’t really disagree with that. Then again, he didn’t often disagree with anything Michael said or did.
***
After a couple of hours of fun conversation with Michael, Calum’s disappointment at only having one friend turn up to his birthday party had long since fizzled away.
Michael was like a ball of sunshine. He just radiated love and happiness, two things that Calum was quickly becoming addicted to. He found himself staring at the blonde boy dreamily as Michael rattled on about gossip he’d heard in the shop. “...And apparently Mr Greenwell won’t even talk to her now, so that must make things very difficult seeing as they live right next door to each other!”
The way that Michael’s eyes gleamed excitedly at the idle gossip, made Calum’s heart melt. If Michael was a girl, he’s sure he’d have kissed her by now. The fleeting notion brought butterflies to Calum’s tummy as his gaze drifted to Michael’s lips. If he was entirely honest with himself, he wanted to kiss Michael right now. He didn’t care if they were both boys. Why should such a silly detail like that stop Calum from following his heart.
“I’m sorry.” Michael giggled, blushing a little as he realised he’d been talking for over ten minutes, barely pausing for a breath. “You probably don’t care about stupid village gossip…”
“Of course I do!” Calum lied. He’d never been good at lying but if a tiny fib would save Michael any embarrassment, Calum would definitely do it. “Living out here in the farm, I don’t get to hear much about what’s going on in the village. I rely on you to keep me up to date!”
Michael smiled at the compliment before shuffling a little closer to Calum. The two of them were sitting cross legged by the fire, forgoing the comfort of the armchairs in order to be as warm as possible. At least that’s the reason Calum would admit to himself. Secretly, he thought that the tiny contact of Michael’s knee brushing against his own was well worth the pins and needles in his feet and lower legs.
“Well now that your village news bulletin is over, can I give you your birthday present from me?” Michael asked, his tone suddenly adopting a shyness that only Calum alone seemed to be privy to.
The slightly younger boy nodded trying not to let the forbidden thoughts about what he’d really like his present from Michael to be.
The blonde reached past Calum to grab the paper bag that was still sitting next to the armchair where he’d left it earlier. As Michael rummaged around to find the present that was for him, Calum automatically placed a hand on his friend’s back and immediately regretted it when he had to try and ignore the tiny tremor that ran through Michael before he looked back, meeting Calum’s gaze with slightly startled eyes.
Not being able to bring himself to apologise, Calum simply removed his hand and asked “did you find it?”
Michael hummed his confirmation but the blush in his cheeks told Calum that he was still thinking about that fleeting touch. If he was being entirely honest with himself, Calum couldn’t shake off the fuzzy feeling it had given him either.
“So…” Michael said, finally sitting back next to Calum, a little closer than he was before, but still not quite as close as the younger boy would have liked. “I wish I could have made something for you but I’m terrible at everything so I got you these instead.” He pulled out a tiny paper bag, that bashful, slightly scared look back on his pretty face.
Calum knew as soon as he took the bag from Michael what was inside it and the thought almost brought a tear to his eye. “Cola cubes?” He asked in a shocked whisper.
Nodding sort of proudly, Michael gestured for his friend to open the bag. “I know they’re your favourites.” He clarified, fiddling sort of nervously with a strand of his hair.
Calum opened the bag and licked his lips as the familiar but increasingly rare, sugary smell hit him. Despite his almost overwhelming urge to take one of the sweets, he immediately closed the bag and held it out to Michael. “I can’t accept these…” He said quietly, “you must have used your sweets rations for the week on them.”
Michael’s face took on a hurt expression as he shrugged. “Yeah but they were worth it…” he admitted in a reserved tone. “I’d rather have spent the rations on cola cubes for you than anything for myself.”
The sincerity in Michael’s voice turned Calum’s insides into jelly. He really wasn't sure how much longer he could resist doing something he knew he should never do. “You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met you know.” He said, a tiny giggle punctuating his sentence.
The light blush in Michael’s cheeks deepened and he rapidly buried his face in Calum’s shoulder like a shy child. “I just like doing nice things for my friends.” He mumbled, although Calum was too busy fighting the urge to kiss the top of the blonde’s head to take too much notice of what he was saying. “Especially you.” Michael added, chancing a glance at Calum through his lashes.
Calum was fighting his urges with every ounce of strength he had as he forced a smile and gently backed away so that he could stand up. “At least let me share them with you.” He insisted, offering Michael a hand to help him to his feet. “Let’s eat them in my room because I actually have a gift for you as well.”
Michael looked shocked but followed Calum out into the hallway and up the stairs. They remained silent but their smiles never faltered until Calum’s bedroom door was closed and his little room was filled with soft lamplight. Only then did a tension settle over the two of them, it felt suddenly romantic as Michael perched on the edge of Calum’s bed, glancing up at him expectantly but with a slight fear lurking the depths of his emerald eyes. Perhaps Calum was the only other person in the world who could understand that mixture of emotions in that moment because he couldn’t think of any other way to describe his own feelings.
There was definitely a nervous anticipation surrounding them as Calum tried to decide whether his gift to Michael was a little too on the romantic side. He couldn’t really back out of it now though, not when Michael was eagerly awaiting a gift.
Trying to shake off his nerves, Calum crosses the room to where he’d hidden the gift behind his lamp. “I wanted to give you this on your birthday, but I never really got a chance and then we didn’t see each other much over Christmas so…”
“It’s okay Calum.” Michael smiled softly. “I know I’ll love it, whatever it is!” He looked so soft in the dim light that Calum almost forgot what he was doing. “Besides, it’s always nice to get gifts when it’s not even a special occasion!”
Calum couldn’t really argue with that and so he picked up the little postcard that he had stashed behind his lamp a couple of months ago and took a deep breath. “I know that this caught your eye the first time you saw my postcards and so I wanted you to have it.”
All of the fear and nerves vanished from Michael’s face as he took the post card and stared down delightedly at the picture of Buckingham Palace. “Calum!” He gasped, as the younger boy sat down beside him.. “You don't have to give me this…”
“I want to.” Calum replied with a slight giggle. “You seemed to really like it and I wrote you a little message on the back.” He gently slid the postcard from Michael’s grip, trying not to pay attention to the way his fingers tingled when they brushed against Michael’s. He turned the card over to display his neat handwriting.
It’s a date. C x
Michael read the incredibly short message out loud before tilting his head to meet Calum’s gaze. “Cal… this is…”
Calum couldn’t quite read Michael’s tone. He could be choked up because he thought it was a thoughtful gift but he could just as easily be trying to Calum that this was perhaps a step beyond friendship that he didn’t want to take. “It’s too sappy isn’t it?” He asked, trying not to sound too hurt or disappointed. “I shouldn’t have wrote that message, especially not with a kiss on the end it’s too…”
“It’s perfect.” Michael interjected, his tone quiet but incredibly certain as he leaned a touch closer to Calum. “I'm really excited for our London date after the war is over.” He smiled, although it faded from his face as his gaze dropped to land on Calum’s lips. “And the kiss is a cute touch…”
Michael’s face seemed to drift impossibly closer to Calum’s and their lips were almost touching before either of them registered what was happening. When reality hit, Michael paused, seemingly frozen in fear, or perhaps giving Calum the time to back up if he wanted to.
After a short moment, the feeling of Michael’s breath ghosting over his lips spurred Calum into action. It was clear that Michael wanted the same thing he did but he was too scared to go through with it. Calum would have to make the move. He placed his trembling hand on Michael’s cheek and stroked over his pale skin with the pad of his thumb. “Michael.” He whispered. “Kissing you is I’ve thought about since the moment we met.”
The blonde nodded before melting into Calum’s touch as his eyes drifted closed and Calum finally closed the gap between his own lips and Michael’s.
The kiss was absolutely everything Calum had ever imagined it to be. Michael felt soft and pliant against him and their lips moved in perfect synchronisation. There was no way of telling how long it lasted but Calum was panting for air by the time they broke apart.
Michael’s cheeks were so flushed as he pulled away, his eyes sparkling with some emotion that Calum couldn’t quite identify. It was definitely a positive one though. “I’ve wanted that since you first moved here, too.” Michael admitted. “I know it’s wrong but…”
Calum shook his head. His heart was still racing from one of the best moments of his whole life and he didn’t want to ruin it by talking about the very reason he hadn’t made it happen sooner. “I don’t care about that.” He said quietly. “I don’t know how anything that can feel this amazing could be wrong.”
Michael giggled and shuffled closer to curl into Calum’s side. “You’re right.” He agreed, resting his head on Calum’s shoulder. “Do you fancy doing it again?”
Calum chuckled before placing a kiss into Michael’s hair. “Definitely, but i need to catch my breath first.” He replied, stroking Micheal's arm gently over the sleeve of his thick jumper. “Besides, I love holding you like this.”
In way of a silent agreement, Michael nestled further into Calum’s hold. “Good because I could happily stay like this forever.”
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