I wish I had something to write about.
But I don't, really.
I don't know. I feel like I'm in some sort of limbo. I always feel like that in between shows, though, so it's nothing new. I'm never really happy unless I'm working on a show. Call me crazy. It makes me happy. Whatever.
I had a nap today. It was glorious.
I think I make life more complicated for myself that it actually needs to be. I have a hard time saying no to people, in fear of hurting them, or letting them down. For some reason, that's more important to me than my own comfort and happiness. I cringe whenever I have to decline an invitation, but I don't know why it pains me so much. So instead I try and make things work, just so I don't have to see someone disappointed. Even if it means trying to be in three places at once, I'd rather burn the candle at both ends than just telling someone, I'm busy. No wonder I'm always tired. Am I really that afraid of what people think of me?
I guess I am. Huh.
It explains the incredibly long man-train I've left behind.
Ho boy.
On that note!
Joel invited me out to a dinner/dance for Wednesday night. I felt obligated to say yes, after having to pass on the last night out. He just sounded so disheartened over the phone last time, and I didn't want to hear that in his voice again, so I said sure. Why not? I wasn't doing anything that night anyway. It sounded like fun.
Is this a bad idea? Is this more than just friends having a night out together for him? Am I leading him on by agreeing to go out with him?
By the way Charlie shook his head and laughed at me after I hung up the phone, I'd say probably.
Shit.
xx
